Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why parents don’t monitor children’s internet access?

132 replies

didistutter56 · 16/06/2025 07:47

Just that really; do you monitor what your children are doing online?

I have a 9YO DD who has a phone and an iPad, both with internet access. However both are checked every day which she knows and has no problem with, she cannot be contacted by people who aren’t in her contacts and if she wants to download an app, I have to approve it first. We also share the same YouTube account so I can see what sort of content she’s watching.

we’ve had some trouble recently with a girl in DDs class falling out with her (the only reason I can see for this is that the other girl calls DD sometimes up to 30 times a day, wanting to play/chat, and if DD doesn’t want to she’s called a fake friend, betrayer, backstabber, etc). I’m having to go into school today to let them know the other girl has been posting online about DD, making videos about her, and encouraging other girls in the class to fall out with her - this other girl in question has autism and it seems fairly obvious to me that she has free reign of the internet, because her parents haven’t picked up on anything she’s doing.

OP posts:
Original poster
didistutter56 · 16/06/2025 08:00

TheNightSurgeon · 16/06/2025 07:57

Well you're getting the repercussions of the phone and Internet access now, because she being bullied online, and you're expecting the school to pick up the pieces.

My dd is 10 and has a phone for when she's at her dad's, but it's a phone with no Internet access, she can only call and text, no need for a smart phone at that age.

I have phone and internet access, does that mean I also deserve to be bullied online? Who’s to say that wouldn’t be happening even if DD didn’t - the girl in question is falling out with her because she doesn’t answer the phone.

Im not expecting school to “pick up the pieces” at all - it’s been going on for weeks now, all I am expecting and would like them to do is make the other parents aware of the situation and encourage them to be a bit more mindful about their child’s access to the internet.

OP posts:
MumChp · 16/06/2025 08:00

A 9 yo is young with a phone.

I never assume parent watch their childrens online life. Many children are feral these day. We can only sort our own.

TheNightSurgeon · 16/06/2025 07:57

Well you're getting the repercussions of the phone and Internet access now, because she being bullied online, and you're expecting the school to pick up the pieces.

My dd is 10 and has a phone for when she's at her dad's, but it's a phone with no Internet access, she can only call and text, no need for a smart phone at that age.

Original poster
didistutter56 · 16/06/2025 07:55

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 16/06/2025 07:52

I mean what the other child is doing is bad, but why does your 9 year old have a phone?! And internet access?

Why did I know the first comment would be like this 😂 she has a phone because I coparent with her dad, and stays with other family and wants to be able to contact me. I see absolutely nothing wrong with a child having internet access as long as it’s monitored - she downloads books, does educational things online (even her homework needs internet access), it’s not like she even has social media.

OP posts:
Groundhedgehogday · 16/06/2025 07:54

I think letting a 9yo have a phone is wild. What on earth does she need a phone for?!

Rayqueen · 16/06/2025 07:54

Yay a parent that also trys to keep kids safe as possible. Our 4 all have restrictions even oldest at 15, they know me or dad will randomly several times a week pick up there phones and flick thru them, check history etc. Also internet time is classed as a treat so providing everyone behaves during the day there all allowed an hour in the evening to watch there shows,music videos or whatever. If for example the weather is bad and they can't get out all day that may be extended or if I wasn't well and able to entertain them. But ye it's not a problem for us same as tv it's not on all day for them to watch

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 16/06/2025 07:52

I mean what the other child is doing is bad, but why does your 9 year old have a phone?! And internet access?