Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you expect a care home to stay with care user when going to urgent care/ a&e

111 replies

itispersonal · 15/06/2025 21:10

Anyone in the know - have an elderly dementia aunt in a care home. Had a fall 2 weeks ago no fracture but had a moon boot. Stopped weight bearing on foot over the last few days and knee swollen a little bit. Care home and a carer took aunty to urgent care but called my elderly mum to come and be with her as they couldn’t stay due to staffing! 10 hours later after being transferred to OOT drs and then to a&e they are back home.

mum has been in tears it is too much for her, she can’t push the wheelchair, help her physically or emotionally. I went to help later in the afternoon but couldn’t help with transport as couldn’t get wheelchair in car. And hard for me to help aunty move.

should care home be staying with aunty? What would happen if my mum didn’t go? Aunty has children but they aren’t involved, and aren’t emotional attached if aunty is at the hospital on her own. Whereas my mum and I are.

OP posts:
AbzMoz · 15/06/2025 21:56

Surely it depends on the definition of unavailable?! Of course the child wouldn’t be left alone but there would have to be rapid response from parent to pick up, not a ‘finish a shift, I’ll be there when I can’ response?

Mrsttcno1 · 15/06/2025 21:55

itispersonal · 15/06/2025 21:16

I get the ratios and they don’t have many staff on shift in general. Think it’s 7 or 8 over 3 floors, as it’s a care home.

But what do those without family support do?

Show quote history

There can be an appropriate adult allocated at the hospital if available, or failing that the care home sends a fact sheet of info about the patient and they are in hospital.

AbzMoz · 15/06/2025 21:54

One to discuss with the NH but for example …

www.nhs.uk/social-care-and-support/care-services-equipment-and-care-homes/care-and-support-you-can-get-for-free/

BlueandWhitePorcelain · 15/06/2025 21:48

A friend of mine was a nurse in a care home. She accompanied a resident to hospital one night, so as to leave the care staff for the other residents. The owner told her off, as they considered the resident to be in safe hands with the paramedics.

I would expect DD1 to have staff go with her to hospital, as she’s funded 1:1 all her waking hours. They have a fleet of minibuses, although she has a Motability car, so transport should never be a problem. She needs to be under supervision 24/7, and hospitals usually have no comprehension of the care she needs, despite her having a medical condition!

We go to most scheduled appointments, although we meet her and her careworker there - it’s usually a 3.5 hour drive for us.

Original poster
itispersonal · 15/06/2025 21:46

TheHateIsNotGood · 15/06/2025 21:39

It's the reality of things. As a teacher you would know that if a child you taught needed to go to A&E you would first call a parent as it wouldn't be possible to just leave the other 29+ children in your class to accompany just 1 dc to A&E.

But if a child had to go and the parents were unable available. A member of staff would stay with the child until a parent came. They wouldn’t be left

OP posts:
Beautifulspringsunshine · 15/06/2025 21:44

TheHateIsNotGood · 15/06/2025 21:39

It's the reality of things. As a teacher you would know that if a child you taught needed to go to A&E you would first call a parent as it wouldn't be possible to just leave the other 29+ children in your class to accompany just 1 dc to A&E.

But the child doesn't live in the school and the parent is still responsible. It’s completely different 🤷‍♀️

Hoardasauruskaren · 15/06/2025 21:43

I’m a radiographer & where I work we see a mix of care staff & family accompanying care home residents. I assume the care home will ask family to attend where possible & step in when that’s not possible. Attending A&E with a resident will be a logistics nightmare for care homes as they could be there for many hours, may involve staff from night shift having to be relieved by the day shift etc. Much easier to delegate to family where possible.

Beautifulspringsunshine · 15/06/2025 21:41

MauraLabingi · 15/06/2025 21:17

If your aunty didn't have able relatives it would probably be patient transport that would take her to the appointment and home from hospital etc. Not care home staff.

Patient transport only drops at door. A resident will need a escort for appointment not only for support, mobility and going to the bathroom but will need to know what the doctor says and what treatment is needed, which is the responsibility of the care home. As a carer in the past I've escorted many many residents to appointments.

TheHateIsNotGood · 15/06/2025 21:39

It's the reality of things. As a teacher you would know that if a child you taught needed to go to A&E you would first call a parent as it wouldn't be possible to just leave the other 29+ children in your class to accompany just 1 dc to A&E.

cherrycola66 · 15/06/2025 21:38

As someone with managerial experience in a care home, staff don’t have to stay, the care is transferred over to the hospital, if they are unsafe in anyway then they need to allocate a 1-1 staff to support. With that being said, morally we always liked to ensure someone is with the resident, if staffing levels allow we would send staff or call the family and ask someone to go with, sometimes though neither is possible unfortunately

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 15/06/2025 21:38

My DM (90 plus with dementia) had to be taken twice to A&E. One of the staff would accompany her initially, but they’d phone and ask whether one of us could go and take over, since obviously it would leave them short. On one occasion an adult dd was the only one able to go, and on the 2nd, late evening, dh dropped me off at A&E and drove the care assistant back to the care home.

However we lived close to both hospital and care home. Presumably some residents would either have no family anywhere near (or none at all) or nobody physically able to take over.
OP, if your DM finds it so physically challenging, IMO she’s entitled to tell the care home that unfortunately she’s unable to do it.

BackinBlack24 · 15/06/2025 21:37

No outside of the care home that person is the families responsibility and no longer in the “care” of the home if in Hospital

BeautifulPeopleGo · 15/06/2025 21:37

My DM has sorted it early too, because she went through it with my DGF.

Original poster
itispersonal · 15/06/2025 21:37

Muchtoomuchtodo · 15/06/2025 21:35

Have you asked if this is possible, providing extra staff are available?

Show quote history

No but think that might be the next conversation to have with the care home.

OP posts:
Original poster
itispersonal · 15/06/2025 21:36

BeautifulPeopleGo · 15/06/2025 21:34

Oh no that’s does make things more difficult as if she now doesn’t have capacity you can’t get it. Dealing with getting old is very hard.

It is. Luckily I have sorted it all for my mum with an LPA so have learnt from it.

OP posts:
Muchtoomuchtodo · 15/06/2025 21:35

itispersonal · 15/06/2025 21:27

Think we would be happier for them to do this and my mum could wait for a little while with them. Without the full responsibility being on my mum.

Show quote history

Have you asked if this is possible, providing extra staff are available?

BeautifulPeopleGo · 15/06/2025 21:34

Oh no that’s does make things more difficult as if she now doesn’t have capacity you can’t get it. Dealing with getting old is very hard.

Original poster
itispersonal · 15/06/2025 21:33

BeautifulPeopleGo · 15/06/2025 21:31

Has one you at least got power of attorney?

No we haven’t! Aunty had psychosis before going into a home. So hadn’t been able to get it done.
Council have applied for POA as we didn’t want to step on people’s toes due to the finances, which was a mistake.

OP posts:
BeautifulPeopleGo · 15/06/2025 21:31

Has one you at least got power of attorney?

MaryGreenhill · 15/06/2025 21:31

No the care home don't stay with the residents. The Family or friends are informed but if no one is available the hospital have to look after them till discharged. Patient transport will pick them up and take them to hospital appointments . I hope your Aunt makes a good recovery OP.

Junoornotjuno · 15/06/2025 21:29

Could you DM asked to be removed as the emergency contact?

Original poster
itispersonal · 15/06/2025 21:29

AbzMoz · 15/06/2025 21:21

I hope your aunt is ok. As @Mrsttcno1 says, the care home cannot go beyond these duties.

It sounds like your mum isn’t in a position to help as an emergency contact? Can you explore additional care routes or ensure her needs are documented within plan, though these services are chronically under resourced. Is it worth telling auntys kids that this has happened and they need to step up?

What would additional care routes involve a new care home or just paid provision for hospital visits etc?

OP posts:
Original poster
itispersonal · 15/06/2025 21:28

AbzMoz · 15/06/2025 21:21

I hope your aunt is ok. As @Mrsttcno1 says, the care home cannot go beyond these duties.

It sounds like your mum isn’t in a position to help as an emergency contact? Can you explore additional care routes or ensure her needs are documented within plan, though these services are chronically under resourced. Is it worth telling auntys kids that this has happened and they need to step up?

They won’t care- one is non contact had her money and ran.
and the other doesn’t care enough for it to impact their life. They are self employed but can’t take time off for appointments etc. visit as and when

OP posts:
Original poster
itispersonal · 15/06/2025 21:27

Junoornotjuno · 15/06/2025 21:21

My DM’s nursing home arrange patient transport and charge £35 per hour per member of staff to accompany residents to appointments.

Think we would be happier for them to do this and my mum could wait for a little while with them. Without the full responsibility being on my mum.

OP posts:
Original poster
itispersonal · 15/06/2025 21:22

MauraLabingi · 15/06/2025 21:17

If your aunty didn't have able relatives it would probably be patient transport that would take her to the appointment and home from hospital etc. Not care home staff.

they don’t usually stay either, as I had to use them when I had a broken ankle for transport and assistance out of my house- 3 storey house and had been living on 2nd floor. That was a scary experience even with full capacity as I was lost in the system and left in a corridor and that was just for a fracture follow up.

Said to mum- would be happy to pay someone to wait with them. Aunt has a lot of money and could afford to do this. I’m coming at it from looking after my mum pov as she’s my main priority and can’t cope with it and she has health issues too!

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread