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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Family holiday

60 replies

Roxy75 · 15/06/2025 20:41

Feeling like a 3rd wheel on a family holiday. On holiday with my partner and 3 of his family members. I paid for one of them to come with us. He’s been cold with me and I’m feeling like I can’t do a thing right. Lonely as hell but not much longer to go. He told me yesterday he doesn’t give a shit how I’m feeling but later apologised. Feeling like what the hell. I’m a total doormat!

OP posts:
Roxy75 · 20/06/2025 09:46

He’s popping round this morning. I was back in work yesterday and in the morning his messages were minimal and by the evening he was more how I know him. He’s popping round in about half an hour. Am I on a one way ticket to dumpsville, population me?? I’ll let you know….

OP posts:
Groovee · 19/06/2025 12:25

You deserve so much better than this.

ShortColdandGrey · 19/06/2025 11:05

Roxy75 · 19/06/2025 10:11

Update…got home early hours of this morning. Feel sad inside. We are still together but I think he’ll bin me off shortly for spoiling his family holiday. I tried so hard to smile and stay upbeat whilst I was literally dying inside. I love him so much but think it’s one way traffic.

Why they hell are you not binning him off? He has treated you like crap and you are going to hang about until he dumps you. You need to get some self respect and kick his arse to the curb.

BakelikeBertha · 19/06/2025 10:54

How can you continue to love someone who treats you with such disrespect and ruins your holiday? Come on OP, wake up, this is NOT the man for you!

BadLad · 19/06/2025 10:32

We are still together

What? You haven’t dumped him?

why GIF
KarmenPQZ · 19/06/2025 10:32

Roxy75 · 19/06/2025 10:11

Update…got home early hours of this morning. Feel sad inside. We are still together but I think he’ll bin me off shortly for spoiling his family holiday. I tried so hard to smile and stay upbeat whilst I was literally dying inside. I love him so much but think it’s one way traffic.

What are you going to do if he doesn’t ’bin you off’? Are you planning on talking about it? Do you really ‘love him so much’ after how he treated you?

Talipesmum · 19/06/2025 10:30

Have you spent time with him and his adult children together much before? Feels like maybe he’s fine with just you and him together, but he doesn’t manage to fit you into his existing life with his children - feeling awkward about being comfortable with a partner in front of them? Like he can’t join up the two parts of his life. He still thinks he should prioritise his children above all else, but here it’s to the point of being weird with you and making things hard for everyone. If this is to work he really needs to recognise what’s going on in his mind and sort it out.

Daleksatemyshed · 19/06/2025 10:28

You didn't spoil his family holiday Op, they were all happy to chat to you, it's just him being unreasonable. Sadly he's another DF whose happy to see you when it's just you but when his DC/ DGC there he wants you to just fade into the background. Don't let him suck you back in now you're home

Roxy75 · 19/06/2025 10:11

Update…got home early hours of this morning. Feel sad inside. We are still together but I think he’ll bin me off shortly for spoiling his family holiday. I tried so hard to smile and stay upbeat whilst I was literally dying inside. I love him so much but think it’s one way traffic.

OP posts:
BakelikeBertha · 16/06/2025 22:31

Are you planning on dumping him when you get back OP?

Roxy75 · 16/06/2025 20:45

I feel a bit like a meal ticket. Oh well, last day tomorrow and then home. Probably to lick my wounds lol. Been such a long week and been so sad and felt so ugly and unwanted. Roll on my own bed x

OP posts:
SummerInSun · 16/06/2025 08:59

Sounds like he’s used you to cross-subsidise his family holiday. Ignore him, chat to the nice rest of his family, and dump him when you get home.

Roxy75 · 16/06/2025 08:54

She was a last minute addition and he couldn’t afford to add her. I thought it would be nice if she joined us so I paid

OP posts:
allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 16/06/2025 08:38

@Roxy75 and his youngest who I paid for. still does not explain why you paid for your partners child and your partner didnt! why did you have to pay?

Roxy75 · 16/06/2025 08:33

we’ve been together almost 18 months and never had a crossed word. Family members are adult child partner and grandchild and his youngest who I paid for. They are all lovely and chatty but I feel like an inconvenience to him. I just think he’s gone off me.

OP posts:
allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 16/06/2025 08:32

@Roxy75 who are the family members and why did you have to pay for one??? I would be getting rid of him asap before you are thought of as the family atm!

honeylulu · 16/06/2025 08:25

So the family members are being nice and it's your partner (only) who is being cold/weird/rude towards you?

Completely out of order (unless there's a massive drip feed like he caught you snogging his brother or something).

As its near the end of the holiday you won't gain much and it will cost you a lot to leave earlier. Just go grey rock with him and end things once you're home.

Was the holiday OK at first and then he suddenly changed? Any idea what led to it? (I'm NOT saying it's your fault. )
How long have you been together?
Do you live together?
No kids?
What are the travel arrangements from the airport?
It sounds like you have your own independent income which is good.

MaryGreenhill · 16/06/2025 08:05

Who is being nasty to you OP? The person you paid for or your partner ?
Regardless l would be getting a flight home l wouldn't stay there with them

Clearinguptheclutter · 16/06/2025 07:58

It’s not clear who is being an arsehole is it your DP?

you definitely need to dump him

CountryVic · 16/06/2025 07:58

Who did you pay for? Do they know you paid for them and not him?

PinkyFlamingo · 16/06/2025 07:56

What's the background? Who are these people and do you normally get on? Why did you pay? And I'm guessing your relationship with your partner is pretty awful anyway.

Oddsocksanduglyshoes · 16/06/2025 07:55

The relationship is clearly over

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 16/06/2025 07:55

Well you dump him as soon as you get back, surely?

thepariscrimefiles · 16/06/2025 07:53

Why did you pay for one of his family to come on this holiday?

I would wait until I got home and then end the relationship. He sounds absolutely horrible.

MadamCholetsbonnet · 16/06/2025 07:02

Are we talking about step children?

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