To wonder if quality home cooking for friends is a lost art?

Oh yes we have a dining table and use it every day. It's the people wanting huge open spaces downstairs and breakfast bars, not for their family to enjoy, but so they can host huge parties and have people round fire pits constantly. I have a family member who spent hundreds of thousands remodelling their home purely to entertain others. They enjoy it which is nice for them but it's not for me!

I'll meet people in restaurants, at the park for a picnic etc but crucially it has to be somewhere I can leave.

It costs too much

I think the poster is referring to the prioritising of entertainment space when marketing houses. It's par for the course in Australia, though I haven't noticed any greater levels of actual sociability here than in the UK.

It's aspirational mince; the idea of it, the possibility.

Where I live, I see huge houses with the dining table set out in the front window overlooking the sea, i.e. half the guests don't see the view. Also the windows need to be closed to keep out the howling wind, blinding sun and incessant traffic noise. I make it sound horrible, but a beachfront house is not all it appears. Now I think of it, I can't recall seeing people actually eating or being out on the balcony above a handful of times.

One thing I did notice when I first moved here was the number of outdoor settings. i.e tables, chairs etc. in various places in the garden. Three in one house. To be fair, these were the homes of well-to-do ex-pats. Also, the generally better weather supports such things.
I have seating in three places, all picked up from nature strips.

Sorry, @Lardychops ’s DH. Go back to sleep!😀

🤣

Woke my DH up bursting out laughing at this ….

But how do you normally eat? Lying lengthwise on the sofa, ripping food apart with your hands and grunting at other people ?

My circle still do this all the time - both smaller
less formal ‘kitchen suppers’ - which tend to be two courses - and also dinner parties for 8-10 people with a few more.

people mix it up with themes /
game nights etc - but think that if you find the right people then lots still entertain at home. We find it lends to more extended quality time vs leaving a restaurant when the meal is done.

I love a dinner party, always have.

Probably do one every 6-8 wks or so - and attend one every couple of weeks.

i love cooking and enjoy it so it’s fun. I have someone help with cleaning on the day and the day after, and if I have more than 8 guests I’ll have someone in to do drinks.

I still do it with a group from work but to be honest, I find it hard as life s busy these days. It’s the planning, prep and cleaning up that’s an effort especially as individually a weekday we meet. My friends who enjoy hosting are either retired or work pt or no kids. I must admit it’s also got harder since more friends have dietary requirements- vegan or coeliac is most common. So my usual repertoire is no good - all in all, I’d rather go out! But I hope as the kids grow up and I have fewer commitments, I’ll have more time and headspace to enjoy hosting again.

I used to get myself in such a state hosting formal dinner parties.
I suggested instead a games evening where I do a main and the other 2 couples bring starter and dessert.
This has now become the norm with all our friends and is sooo much more relaxing and fun.

I spent all my Saturdays at 14/15 years old in 89/90 babysitting my parents friends while they all took it in turns to host elaborate 3 course dinner parties, with full table accoutrements, glassware, and cutlery. Even port and brandy at the end with 500 fags being smoked and fleetwood mac/ queen blaring away.
Everyone dressed up ( ties/ heels on indoors- and you couldn’t move for shoulder pads and fuzzy eyebrows)
They were huge boozy affairs and ended up raccoons and quite outrageous, with lap
sitting and posing for the Polaroid camera with a leg in the air etc!
They were very aspirational and my parents as well as their friends were from very working class backgrounds who had ‘done well for themselves’ . Only one of the women in the circle worked -part-time I think and the preparation (and expense I imagine) that went into pulling the night off was extensive.
My mum would start planning for a sat dinner party on a Wednesday and by Friday be frantic , but excited in full Margo Ledbetter mode sending my step dad out for yet more booze to be on the safe side, as the 27 bottles of wine , every spirit you can imagine 2 bottles of port/ brandy ‘might not be enough’,
For 10 people lol.

Well, here DH does most of the cooking, and he is already the boss. We have to entertain very simply at the moment, as we’re renovating a wreck and only have a tiny camp kitchen the size of a cupboard and an ancient cooker with only two rings that work, and no dining table, but we had six friends for dinner last weekend. Spanakopita, salad, nice cheese and a rhubarb tart. It doesn’t have to be something fancy.

I think it relied on women who worked less or in lower responsibility jobs and were more prepared to to put the time in to plan & cook

I think this is probably the case.

I meet up with one group of friends once a month for a games night. We take it in turns to host. Food is good but very simple. We all work and have DC. When I host I usually have less than 1 hour between finishing work and everyone arriving and I think most of my friends are the same. We're just happy to find time to spend together. If we waited until one of had the time to 'properly' host we'd be lucky to get together once a year!

I meet another a friendship group once a month or so for a meal in a restaurant. We quite often meet early and straight from work. Again, it's a time thing.

Perhaps when we're all retired!

I had a dinner party last night! Three couples and us. Cocktails and canape/appetisers, a very nice chicken main, meringues with fruit, cheese board and topped off with home made truffles and coffee. I loved it, can't wait to do it again.

On average I have guests for dinner or am invited for dinner once a week, 9/10 decided in the moment or earlier the same day.
I’d rather stick a fish knife in my eye than attend or host the pretentious dinner parties my parents used to host though. I remember hours making salmon mousse and lemon posset.

I used to invite people for dinner but a series of life events, children and covid largely put a stop to it. Now that I'm older as are the kids, I'm hoping to return to socialising at home more. I'm not the best cook but I do enjoy having a natter around the dinner table with loved ones.

People are much more flaky, I hate this but since Covid nobody seems to be able to commit to a social engagement anymore.

This is so bloody true. To be honest I daren't suggest a party at a big birthday, christmas or new years anymore, as the fear is no one will actually come.

I'm 62 and have never been to a dinner party in my life.

It makes me think of the 70s when a wife was supposed to host such things for her husband's bosses in the hope of him getting promotion .

My friends do it less and less. I feel its such a pity, i like doing it & am happy to host, but others i think just can't be bothered. I think it relied on women who worked less or in lower responsibility jobs and were more prepared to to put the time in to plan & cook. Now it tends to be less formal options like hosting a barbecue.

Also I think people have fewer close friends in their community. My parents had a circle of couples they socialised with but it was my mother who had really built the foundations of those friendships during a 10 year period staying at home with young children. Now women don't take a long period off, their friends are from their jobs or university days rather than among their local neighbourhood.

I just think dinner parties died out because everyone realized that childcare was super expensive and it was just as much fun to have your friends and their kids over and have a bit of a free for all. And then the kids grew up and now we'd all rather go to restaurants, without the kids.

I think it’s a lot to do with cost nowadays tbh.

We had friends over for a BBQ yesterday, it was nothing fancy but once you added the alcohol in it all came to £130. Which to just entertain at home and have to do all the cooking/ prepping of the house/ clearing up etc seems like a lot!

We’re also in the stage of everyone having young children so a more formal evening do would be hard to organise. It’s a shame as we have the house for it and one of the reasons why we bought the house was because there was plenty of space for entertaining, but it’s ALWAYS us that hosts, rarely is it reciprocated and I think I got a bit fed up of that too tbh.

I can’t imagine booking and paying a babysitter just to go round to someone’s house. When I babysat as a teen the parents were often off to dinner parties - usually quite glam as well. I’d much rather go to a restaurant.

I'm sorry to hear this @Beetletweetle, that sounds utterly miserable for you.