Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I have to call it a day

59 replies

Booboo7 · 15/06/2025 20:12

Been with DH 8 years, we both had children when we meet and have not had any together. I have 2 x DS (14&12) and he has 1 DD (16) and 1 DS (12). The issue is that when his DS is due to stay I can feel my mood becoming low and I am really struggling the whole time he is here. His DS ignores me when I talk to him 95% of the time and just glares at me, I have raised this with DH too many times to count over the last 3 years and don’t have the energy to keep doing it as it’s draining and nothing improves. When DSS is here I feel so on edge and uncomfortable in my own home.
i dearly love DH and he is a great husband to me but is it wrong to think that feeling like this is not healthy and it’s best to just walk awa

OP posts:
FlyingontheGround · 15/06/2025 21:06

Is your DH supportive of you? I separated from my DH under similar circumstances, but he thought his child could do no wrong and at times I felt he almost encouraged them to mistreat me.

IPM · 15/06/2025 21:03

It's weird that in one breath you say 'I dearly love him' and in another you want to dump him because his 12 year old doesn't like you very much.

He won't be 12 forever!

saltinesandcoffeecups · 15/06/2025 21:02

Then stop arguing and accept that DSS is a sulky little twat. That’s fine he doesn’t have to like you and you don’t have to like him. Stop talking to him and treat him like a lamp.

You might find that by doing this, things ease up between the two of you.

Original poster
Booboo7 · 15/06/2025 20:58

There is only so many arguing can have about his sons manners and rudeness which is my issue. stepson maintains to his dad he has no issue with me but that clearly not the case- these conversations were had away from the home with just DH at my recommendation so step son could feel he had the chance to talk to dad without me.
pulling him up on the ignoring me has made no difference and after 3 years I don’t have the energy or care to keep on and on trying to get him to have basic manners and engage

OP posts:
CaptainFuture · 15/06/2025 20:50

Supersimkin7 · 15/06/2025 20:40

Don’t go. The sulky tween isn’t more important than you are, let alone in your own home.

DH needs to get DS some manners, quick.

@Booboo7 Then this exactly.

Original poster
Booboo7 · 15/06/2025 20:44

Yes we live together and each child has their room in our home- my children do have the larger of the bedrooms compared to step children as this is their home (their dad isn’t involved so they are here100%) of the time

OP posts:
Supersimkin7 · 15/06/2025 20:40

Don’t go. The sulky tween isn’t more important than you are, let alone in your own home.

DH needs to get DS some manners, quick.

CaptainFuture · 15/06/2025 20:36

Do you live together and your dc live there full time? Do his dc have rooms of their own when they stay with their dad?

Pessismistic · 15/06/2025 20:34

I think if you love him as much as you do stay his kid will grow up and not come as much this happens with kids and natural parents do you really want to lose a great husband over a spoilt 12 year old.

Swipe left for the next trending thread