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Original poster

Should DH see the GP for this?

35 replies

ConfusedSloth · 15/06/2025 20:09

DH’s memory is seemingly getting worse. Not a sudden onset, over the past 5 years or so just deteriorated. He’s fit and healthy, in his 20s. Only potentially relevant medical history is that he’s managed to get himself a fair few concussions over the years playing rugby and also has dyspraxia (which probably contributed to the concussions tbh). Some examples below, both today:

This morning, getting ready to go out, I take out outfits for the children. For DS(5), I get out two shirts so he can choose which one he prefers. DH comes in with DD and asks why DS has two shirts out. I explain that it’s so he can choose, he says ok. DS then comes in and asked why he has two shirts out, I explain that it’s so he can choose which he prefers. A minute later, DH asks me why DS has two shirts out - he has literally no memory of having already asked me that, or DS asking, and me having explained it twice in the last three minutes.

We then get in the car to see my dad (about a two hour drive) and after about 15 minutes California Dreaming comes on the playlist. DH says that it’s crazy to him that the song is 60 years old. I say he’s absolutely incorrect, I cannot believe it, that is wild! So, I look it up and he is completely correct - came out in 1965!! We have a discussion about how generations before us wouldn’t have found that longevity in popular music, and proceed to guess what years subsequent songs on the playlist were from. We get to DDad’s and spend the day. Part of the day is DH discussing the same thing with DDad about how old the song was (including naming the song and its year of release) and about how DDad (almost 70) wouldn’t have listened to songs from the 20s/30s…

Now, back in the car coming home and the playlist shuffled back to California Dreaming and he goes “now, I guess this song is probably from the 50s”. I looked at him weirdly for a good few minutes. He has no memory that this was the song that started the whole conversation and that he was the one who told me that it was from 1965!

Should he see someone for this?

OP posts:
YinYangalang · 15/06/2025 20:34

The concussions he has suffered and his ST memory issues is the precursor to him being examined throughly by a medical professional.

It could be nothing but he needs to be assessed.

stichguru · 15/06/2025 20:32

Sorry to say this but DH needs to see his doctor ASAP. Both the examples you have given sound very like things I would do, and I have short-term memory problems stemming from brain damage at birth. They also sound like things my mum did early in her dementia journey. I would be VERY concerned at these things starting to happen out of the blue, especially in a young person.

WinSomeandLoseSome · 15/06/2025 20:32

Does he seem worried about it? Is it just his memory or has he forgotten how to do any tasks. Simple things like how to work the dishwasher? Tbh I can tell my husband the same thing several times and he doesn't remember but I think half the time he isn't listening.

Original poster
ConfusedSloth · 15/06/2025 20:28

In terms of further examples, a lot of them are things that could (cynically) be put down to strategic incompetence or not listening but there are more and more that I don’t think can be.

He tells me the same thing without realising he told me it five minutes earlier. Like, he’ll say “is it ok if I go to the pub with J tomorrow?” and I’ll say yes and we’ll talk about how J is or which pub or things - and then he’ll come back five minutes later and ask the same thing.

He can’t remember where he leaves things, forgets things like the kids’ dates of birth (very caring, engaged father), he retells stories completely incorrectly, he tells me facts or anecdotes that I told him earlier that day but can’t remember where he heard them… but it feels like it’s getting more acute.

OP posts:
Wowzel · 15/06/2025 20:18

He definitely needs to go to the doctor. Because of his age he will need a scan of his brain

Calamitousness · 15/06/2025 20:16

Absolutely he should. Please make an appointment and go with him so you both have knowledge of what’s happening next and you will be able to describe the memory lapses more accurately than your dh.

MounjaroMounjaro · 15/06/2025 20:13

I had to re-read that to see he's in his twenties. That is worrying. Do you have any more examples? The issue with the shirts I could put down to him being distracted. The song is different because it's as though he hadn't heard the song for ages when he spoke about it the second time.

JulietSierra · 15/06/2025 20:12

I’d definitely be concerned. My husband often ‘forgets’ things I’ve told him but I’m fairly sure it’s just that he doesn’t listen to me. But to not recall a whole conversation is definitely not right. Hope you can persuade him to see his gp.

londongirl12 · 15/06/2025 20:12

Yes, we all forget things sometimes (I forget whether I’ve asked something!!) but that scenario about the song is a big thing to forget.

MumChp · 15/06/2025 20:10

Yes. He should see his GP.