Husband overheard me

My mother never bitched or revealed anything personal about my father to her family, and my father never spoke an ill word against her to his family. They would have it out amongst themselves though.
Obviously if someone is being abused, speaking to a family member is important. When you bitch, you are smearing that person's name forever. And the victim will wonder about what else you have said, or who else you have spoken to. It is an ultimate betrayal and I don't think one understands it until it happens to them.

I think there us a world of difference between having a bitch about someone and having a moan. I know dh has had a moan about me to bil and I've moaned about minor things. These are things that no one is going to hold against me or him or ruin our reputation. Nor is it an ultimate betrayal that I moan that he ALWAYS restacks the dishwasher because he doesn't like the way i do it. There are much bigger betrayals than that! I moan, get it off my chest, my friends say I'm being a dick about it and that's it!!! No one is betrayed or smeared.

Is he generally controlling? Is this moody behaviour normal or strange for him?

Has anything different happened recently (is there more going on?)?

I don't typically discuss issues in detail outside of marriage - apart from 'lite' stuff to one person.

BUT if anyone told me not to talk to whoever I wanted to, I'd be telling them to be less of a prick if they didn't want to be spoken about. It's not like you were talking about his erectile dysfunction or something, but rather how his behaviour was affecting you. If he hadn't thrown a massive hissy fit then you wouldn't have needed to.

My mother never bitched or revealed anything personal about my father to her family, and my father never spoke an ill word against her to his family. They would have it out amongst themselves though.

Obviously if someone is being abused, speaking to a family member is important. When you bitch, you are smearing that person's name forever. And the victim will wonder about what else you have said, or who else you have spoken to. It is an ultimate betrayal and I don't think one understands it until it happens to them.

I always moan to my sister. Totally normal. He acted like a knob.

Everyone saying "you should have ordered him a card online", how is this actually more thoughtful?! Honestly, it's just a daft day. We do our best to nod to it, and the main priority is to maybe hang out together. I do wonder if you have other red flags going on, as this does seem like a bit of an over-reaction.

He doesn’t sound reasonable at all if he’s in a huff about a card; it’s not like there was nothing done at all to celebrate Father’s Day. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong to chat with your sister when you feel upset and I’d say the same for him if he spoke to someone.
If you are always badmouthing him though then that feels unfair, unless there’s genuinely a problem in which case that problem needs to be faced head on.
If that’s not the case, then I imagine he’s worried everyone will think he’s an idiot and he’s embarrassed.
I think you need to step back from the card/speaking on the phone thing today and work out what’s the real issue here. How does your relationship usually work? Generally ok? Or are there often moods and things that you’re not allowed to do? Or something in between? Is there something else going on with him?

He sounds very childish.

He seeks to isolate you.

The man is bad. Leave him now or torture yourself and your children Boeing down to him.

I do t think you are unreasonable. It’s raising red flags for me because of my own history. My controlling and eventually abusive ex had this attitude where I couldn’t talk to anyone about “our business” when actually he didn’t want me talking about it because they would tell me he’s treating me badly.

for unrelated reasons my relationship after him didn’t work out but I vividly remember telling him I talk to my sister and if he has a problem with that then we can’t date. He said of course you need to offload sometimes that’s normal. Complete opposite reaction. And I did continue to talk to my sister and he would assume I’d done so. Didn’t even wake him want to stop socialising with my sister like ex had done.

confiding in one or two close people for support and feedback is very different to telling anyone and everyone your private business

I have NEVER done any thing for my husband for Fathers Day, nor he for me for MOTHERS day.

You have just reminded me to call my own Dad though... just did he, didn't give two hoots I had forgotten.

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And I think anyone should be able to talk to their friends or family about relationship problems. Otherwise, abuse can fester.

He hugely overreacted. Twat.

Now I’ve heard it all…. Give your head a wobble @outerspacepotato

It’s posts like these I’m glad I’m single. Sorry OP. Hope he gets over it soon

Op has already said that she was spoiled by him on mothers day

Take your husband up on the offer of divorce and start again, what a piece of work!

He sounds very controlling. It’s unfortunate he overheard you bitching about him but it sounds like you have something to bitch about.

She also said that he absolutely spolied her. How we pick and chose to fit our narrative...

She is nicer than me.
I would definitely throw that in his face.

Even if you had a card made by your child, a personalised gift, AND your favourite meal made for you? Because that's what he got - and kicked off because there was no shop bought card.

You'd really think the above was "shit" and warranted an apology? Wow.

I find this controlling and if you don’t speak/confide in people you would end up cracking up with this behaviour of his.

reverse it and give him the cold shoulder

It's all in the thread.

He ordered her a present - but late, so she didn't get it on Mother's Day...

I’d be pissed off if I didn’t have a Mother’s Day card and would be more annoyed if DH was bitching about me being upset to his family as opposed to just apologising for being shit and trying to make up for it.

He stormed out because he only got a dinner and a present and no card? That is just odd behavior from a man. Men usually think cards are silly and useless.

Does he make a habit of ruining holidays and birthdays?