Husband overheard me

His behaviour is ridiculous! He got a nice meal and a present! What more does he want?? Can't believe people on here are saying OP didn’t do enough! And for him to go into a huge sulk??!! Laughable!! And it's perfectly reasonable to discuss your life with your sister. 100% not unreasonable.

Time to take a deep breath or several and make your own plans.My first step is contact you local women's support group. They will be a great sounding board

I never speak to anyone else about my relationship issues. I'm happy for my partner to speak about what ever they want to but DO NOT discuss me, my feelings or anything else about me. I feel that 1. its nothing to do with anyone else. 2. no matter what the other person will form an opinion and it will change the dynamic.

And ‘he’s having a sulky’. Wtf? Is he a 5 year old?

He is being unreasonable complaining about not getting a card when you ordered him a gift.

I think the call with your sister depends on what and how it was said. Him not wanting you to discuss things with anyone sounds controlling.

But abuse is a grey line. How do you define the point you're being being abused from? The first physical assault is easy to identify, but what about that push last week that he said was an accident? What about the months of verbally assgressive comments? Which one of those is the start of abuse? How long do you put up with it before you can tell? And if you've alwaysaintained your partner is a saint and your marriage is the best, how much harder to now tell everyone actually he's abusive and it's been low level shit for years

Tell him to grow up or fxxx off. Life’s too short.

A lack of thought? he got a personalised gift, his favourite dinner and a home made card. He sounds spoiled and just wanted something to go in a huff about.

how is a health concern the same as saying 'DH is upset and ignoring me because I didn't buy a card and gave him on the children made instead'. It sounds like she tried to speak to him and he's acting like a moody teenager.

There's a huge difference between you discussing your partner's medical issues with a sibling and discussing the issues in your marriage. It's great you can just talk everything out, but ops partner sulks and won't engage, other partners with get verbally aggressive, or physical. Are we really saying no one should talk to anyone else about their marriage problems? Or only once it becomes physical?

But the children made a card? That should be enough.

Not happy to hear it is understandable. Not expecting your partner to ever share any struggles about the marriage cc with anyone else is bordering abusive

Sorry but this is bollocks.

I once was late giving my DH an anniversary card as I'd been working seriously long hours and was stressed out of my mind.

He once totally forgot about it during another busy time and got me a card later in the day and apologised.

We were graceful with each other's mistakes.

OP said her mother's day gift was late. Did she sulk and shout? I doubt it.

Just a FYI, my ex treated me like that, I wasn't allowed to tell anyone anything about our relationship issues (mainly him having tantrums) and I got more and more isolated until he read in my phone me telling my mum I was unhappy and I got my phone thrown at my head. There are some horrible controlling men out there, so its not as clear cut as that.

Yes I see this.

I talk to close friends who aren't close with my DH if I have anything bothering me.

I'm also careful not to do it in earshot!

Having said that, your DH behaviour is horrible. Sulking for hours and running you down for being a bit late with a card when you couldn't go during the week? It's really petty.

Erm. I don't know what to say OP. My husband didn't bat an eyelid at getting chocolates and a card for fathers day from the kids. We don't really buy in to it but I did order him some new clothes for work that he really needs but nothing fancy. I think your husband is being very petty and childish over this. What was it he wanted? your gift sounds nice! If its the end of your marriage over you expressing frustration to your sister, then it sounds like theres something else going on to be honest.

I think he’s overreacted a bit about Father’s Day however I found out my dh had spoken to his sister about me, something personal , and I was livid.

nothing bad but something about my health that she didn’t need to know. I’ve asked him not to speak about me to any of his siblings other than To say I’m ok, if they ask.

discuss things with your dh rather than running to your sister. I don’t complain about dh to anyone, if he’s done something to annoy me then I’ll tell him, that’s what grown ups do.

Re the card, Moonpig or funky pigeon etc....

Sounds like you two need to really sit and talk if he is claiming that this event and the talking to your sister is a reason for him to end the marriage. Maybe more.going.on than he is letting on

Well its not as if Fathers Day is suddenly sprung upon people is it? You've had a whole year to get prepared for it and i'm sure Fathers day cards have been for sale for more than that one week and i would be peeved if i heard my other half ranting about me to someone else because i was upset about what comes across as a lack of thought and consideration. You are blaming him for being upset due to what he perseves as lack of thought for him. I'm sure if it was the other way around people would be telling the wife to dump her hubby 🙄

When I said yes I meant you have every right to confide in someone and I find it really suspect to have someone who wants to keep your relationship problems secrets. Shady character. I didn’t post that properly. Sorry

But Op got him a present from the kids and made him his favourite meal ? Lack of a card is no reason to kick off

One thing no one has brought up is that this is a family day. I don't know how old the kids are, but parents should put their differences aside on family holidays and try to regulate their emotions for the sake of the kids. IMO you should save a problem with your spouse for when the kids aren't paying attention or are asleep, or try to discuss it quietly on a day when family is spending time together celebrating.

And I do think some people who don't like spending an entire day with their spouse and kids but can't admit it create arguments and chaos over nothing so they have an excuse to storm off. Just a thought.

There are also people who just destroy every birthday or holiday because they are so used to drama and chaos.

Yes, it’s why I didn’t say “all men”

Your husband is a massive man-baby to be sulking over the lack of card. Where’s his empathy for the personal stuff you’ve been going through? He sounds selfish and pathetic.

And he has no right to be upset about you talking to your sister. He’s upset you, you’re within your rights to talk it through with some one. If he doesn’t want you to do that then he shouldn’t upset you in the first place. He has no right to dictate who you talk to and about what. Controlling twat.

That’s funny, my DH and his mates are all in their 40s and they all discuss all their marital or girlfriend issues. I know because my DH comes home and tells me.

I have no idea what my DH tells them.