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AIBU?

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Husband overheard me

234 replies

starship92 · 15/06/2025 17:11

Basically my husband was annoyed with me this morning because he was "disappointed" in my fathers day effort.

For context - due to personal issues i was unable to get to the shops for a card this whole week so was going today as soon as they opened. (He was aware of this) but i had ordered him a personalised gift (which i thought was really nice) from the kids which was here for his waking this morning.

He was in a sulk all morning and it made me (probably irrationally) angry because i had tried my best considering the circumstances (i had also made his favourite meal last night as a fathers day celebration).

He stormed out earlier and came back as he has forgot something, and he overheard me complaining on the phone to my sister about him.

He has come down on me like a tonne of bricks over this. Says he doesnt want our personal life or our problems discussed with anyone. Hes actually now saying he doesn't trust me and this could potentially be the end of our marriage.

Am I being unreasonable for thinking im within my rights to confide in my sister about this argument? Is it really that big a deal? Granted i definitely was "ranting" when he overheard...but still?

OP posts:
Sarah9494 · 15/06/2025 17:18

I can understand why he was annoyed with you. Sort out your own domestic issues and keep them in house.

outerspacepotato · 15/06/2025 17:18

I agree with your husband. Don't shit talk your spouse outside the marriage (unless it's something like abuse or addiction or criminal issues).

He's upset you didn't get him a card and possibly other things and felt you put in little effort. I think his expectation was reasonable. Then when he let you know how he felt, you got mad and ranted about him.

What did he do for you for Mother's Day? Is this a you matched his energy situation or you just expended the least effort you thought you could get away with?

sheknowsitstoolate · 15/06/2025 17:17

He should grow up, he got a present.

The kids could have made a card.

I would be a bit pissed off if I was being moaned about on the phone to someone. I probably wouldn’t threaten divorce over it tho. (I also wouldn’t act the way he did)

QuickFawn · 15/06/2025 17:16

End the marriage yourself, it sounds miserable

You can buy cards online though, so unsure why you didn’t consider that, if you had time to order the gift?
But he sounds like a total twit with his behaviour and it doesn’t sound you have a good relationship to start with

NormaNormal · 15/06/2025 17:16

I can see why he objects to you discussing him with others, but I don't understand why you don't take him up on the offer to end your marriage.

Shitmonger · 15/06/2025 17:16

Sounds like he’s overreacting because he knows he’s being a dick and trying to punish you. He doesn’t want your family to know how he’s acting and treating you because he knows it doesn’t make him look good.

Claiming that he doesn’t trust you anymore is deflection, and threatening the marriage is manipulative.

Profpudding · 15/06/2025 17:15

What did he do for Mother’s Day incidentally?

Noshadowsinthedark · 15/06/2025 17:14

He’s a massive manchild and didn’t like someone outside the marriage knowing he behaves in that way.

Threatening divorce over it is equally manipulative.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 15/06/2025 17:14

Sounds like your marriage is in a shit place generally? It’s understandable he wants privacy, and it’s understandable that you want to tell your sister. Sounds like communication is poor between the 2 of you.

Next time get the kids to make a card or order one online like you did with everything else, he shouldn’t have sulked of course. But cards are easy to order online and would have saved your rushing to the shop this morning.