Husband overheard me

You do it out of the partner's earshot, to someone who'll not blab to the partner.
You tell someone who will listen objectively.

Exactly. It's also just realistic.

Sorry but he doesn’t get to decide who you talk to you about issues that affect you.

I don't get the logic of no one is allowed to speak badly of their partner. We all need to vent, we all need to talk things through. I wouldn't be happy to hear things said about me, but I think it's allowed. Also how is one to talk to someone about an abusive partner who you may not even realise is if there's a blanket ban?

@starship92 have things settled down?

I dont understand this. You're not his mother!!

The important person to notify when something seriously wrong happens in your relationship, is yourself. Sure, tell other trusted people too (although sometimes you might start defending your relationship when they start agreeing with you that the relationship isn't right). You need to send up a mental warning flare to yourself that a line has been crossed. The reason/cause/trigger almost does not matter. But if you find yourself regularly feeling that your relationship is hurting one partner or the other (or the kids), with no sign of proper repair or improvement, that is enough reason to think about leaving. It is yourself you need to send that SOS to, and that is hard.

OMG Men!
Moan about us but complain if we dare to moan about them!

I must point out that I'm talking generally and as much about boys as men (I'm 21), not specifically referring my comments to a wife/husband situation.

He sounds like a man baby

its normal to vent to close friends/relative. if you are having to vent all the time then maybe its time to reassess the relationship. people suggesting speaking to a paid stranger over your closest confidentes is mind boggling. yanbu, your husband is a dick, on this occasion.

It's not about the card. if he wasn't sulking about the card it would be something else.

I can understand why OP wanted to vent her frustration, but I can see why he minded.

It's perfectly normal to not want your partner to gossip about you relationship issues to everyone. (Unless it's something really serious)

To those saying it's controlling to not want all your dirty laundry hung out to dry, lord knows how you're in a relationship. And I'm sure you'd be completely at peace hearing your partner slag you off to his parents and friends continuously. No issues with that right! Otherwise you'd be controlling!

I am a dad and his reaction is a bit pathetic really

I never discussed anything that occurred between Husband and I. You should sort it between you.

Hi usually when the reaction seems disproportionate to the event there may be some underlying issues that have not been resolved. I think you need to sit with your husband and talk to him about what he is feeling. Be ready to listen attentively and take note of any wrongs on your part that he may want to address as I do have a suspicion that his reaction stems from far deeper than what happened on father's day.

If he doesn't like you being truthful about his behaviour, he should change his behaviour. Has he been supportive at all after your crappy week?

A card from the toddler , a personalised gift given and a special dinner cooked for him - that sounds perfect 👌

you had personal reasons for not presenting him with a card but went out and got one later … why ? Surely if it was illness , lack of mobility why in earth did he expect one from you? Clearly what ever it was , was not acceptable excuse to him ? I want to know what this reason was as I think this is interesting you haven’t said …

sulking , storming off and threatening divorce are never acceptable behaviours in a healthy marriage
smells like an affair or emotional affair at the least

i once over heard my partner moaning about me to our friend and was v upset , especially as the moan was unjustified, I did ask that in future any gripes be kept to ourselves and not Shared with friends, as far as I am aware they have honoured this. But the big difference is I want to hear the issue myself so we can TALK about it and resolve it and I do not want my partner to have any moans or complaints , I think this is a seminal moment in your marriage and therapy would be advisable

OFGS, why does anyone fall for this marketing rubbish each year.
£4 for a piece of card, no chance. A grown man sulking over it? What a turn off.

Mothers Day was banned by me from the off. I considered every day to be mother's day when lucky enough to be one. I did treat my own mum, as she liked it.
Don't go for any of that sales hype, they all pass without mention.
Birthdays are very different, being personal. Obviously without a birthday, the person wouldn't be here, that's worth celebrating.

Exactly. And it's not good to either a. tell someone every time they do something even small to annoy you when many times you just want to bent it out and move on / on reflection it's you or the situation etc. b. Keep everything pent up inside because you can't ever tell anyone how you're feeling

And even with abusive behaviour, some people are just impossible to live with. What MN calls Twats or Tosser.
When you’ve spent years smoothing over things, keeping the peace, it can be extremely hard to see it. Are people not allowed to seek support there either?

@CharlieEffie , It doesn't. Sulking about his wife not buying a Father's Day card is.

@starship92 , I remember a Christmas years ago, when I bought a beautiful and appropriate card for my then boyfriend. It was not a cheap one and I was out of work at the time.
He sulked because I hadn't put a loving message in it.

Well the OP is entitled to emotional support.
Where do you suggest she is getting from instead?

He doesn't get to decide who she talking about HER relationship issues with.
If it was somethimg like his mental health, then Faye enpugh. But things that are affecting her life? Nope.

Your husband is a prick. Sulking because he didn’t get a shit card from Tesco? If my husband hadn’t got me a card from the kids but had got a thoughtful gift, lovely dinner and home made card I’d tell him not to worry about popping to the shops.

Id also expect my partner to moan about me to a friend or relative if I’d behaved as badly as he did.

Not sure why he cares about you buying him a card, I love handmade cards from the little one but a standard card from a shop mean so much less to me, making my favourite meal would mean alot, speaking to your sister about it I get why you do that kind of as thats how females are they have people they confide in but I also get him as males for the most part dont really talk to people about stuff and definitely not about our personal lifes, men and women are very different in this, can I ask dose he do alot for you on mothers day? Break down of a great father's day waking up to a bj, a good breakfast cards from the kids few little gifts from the kids, a nice meal and a cold beer and most important dont ask him to do anything that day give him the day off

Him telling her not to discuss their issues/his behaviour smacks of controlling behaviour