Some mums need to cop on!

Do dads need to cop on too or is just the job of mums to teach sons to clean up after themselves?

Here's a really wild idea. Maybe if more FATHERS were seen by their sons taking an equal role in cleaning they'd be influenced to clean up too.

Does she have to pay if the house isn't clean? Is she guarantor?

My DD was in a student flat with girls. The day they moved out some emerged from rooms with dirty dishes and rubbish. My DD was trying to clean up, I started clearing the mess in the kitchen because yes I wanted my deposit back. Snotty nosed parents just walked out with their DDs carting stuff out and left us to it. I bet they were all congratulating themselves for not helping and I'm sure they enjoyed getting their full deposits back with no effort themselves.

Three sons went to uni and I never had to do it in their flats.

My dad did the same for me at the start of the pandemic and I was 40! I couldn’t get any movers (obviously!) so he borrowed a mate’s van and came and helped me move. It’s so normal.

I imagine she was not hoping to do this on her own and that her son would help? My parents did the same for me? They would do the same now if I moved house. In fact, I remember vividly my dad coming to get me from a flat I was moving out from and I had done barely anything and I had to rope in my friends and we all did packing and cleaning together.

I'm a fairly well adjusted adult now. Mainly.

Other families are irrelevant, if you don’t want to take time off work to help your child that’s your choice but it shouldn’t impact the decision of others.

Are you all divorced? Because she’s basically saying you all married useless men.

He’s 21. When are you going to stop blaming his mum?

His mom is making some poor woman a terrible husband to be .

Hopefully not your daughter, sorry.

If he's at university, he's old enough to clean his own room after packing it up. Many people have families that work and can't to take time off to do what their adult kids should be doing.

Disloyal for helping her son? How come? if it was a dad helping his daughter that would be different?

Very normal. Most likely with need help moving all their crap back in their car. It says a lot more about op than the mother helping.

I’m a woman and at the end of my second year of uni my
mum came up and we cleaned the house together.

She probably thinks she can change him, bless her.

The mum is probably cleaning because she’s the one most likely to be paying the bill if the flat isn’t up to scratch when he leaves. “He gives you the ick..” well it’s a good job you’re not sleeping with him isn’t it. People with this mentality come across as smug and judgemental. Not nice qualities to have. Parents help their kids, it’s literally their job as a parent, whatever their age.

I'd like to assume she's just trying to protect her deposit, but (as a man) I personally find it ridiculous that a bloke needs such 'help'. However, I see it all around me. 🙄
From a friend who told me that "my wife sorts my socks out" to my ex's father, who literally didn't know how to boil and egg.

I have 4 boys who are absolutely wonderful they’ve been taught to keep clean/tidy etc etc however, once they are adults they choose for themselves how to live, thankfully my boys have lovely homes. HOWEVER, I am not their only parent and I can teach them how to live etc but they are their own people. And your daughter seems to like this lad? What does that say about her?…..so cop on to yourself and stop blaming women for men’s uselessness!!!

Agree with this completely. I have helped siblings, parents and friends move. I have packed and cleaned. My parents/ siblings/ friends have helped me. Normal. Weird to think that you wouldn't do this! 🤷‍♀️

Yes, I agree. I helped both my daughters move out of Uni accommodation, and yes, I cleaned , but we did it together. And with subsequent house moves too.

No way

This 100%. Our adult niece refuses to learn to drive, my BIL would happily teach her/pay for lessons. She calls demanding lifts, if he refuses it’s her Mum who gives him a really hard time until he gives in. She drives herself, but makes it clear he must be the one to do all this driving that he disagrees with. So no incentive for her to learn to drive 🤦🏻‍♀️

I think it depends on what she did for her son , a fairly quick check to make sure he hasn't forgotten anything, wash a few of the last breakfast pots , empty the bins , all fine .
Wash days worth of pots , deal with bags and bags of unwashed clothes, vacuum/ mopping all the floors , strip beds , def not fine.

There is a big difference between doing it for him because he is disorganised/ lazy or giving him a hand with the last few bits.

Because many women enable this same shitty, immature behaviour.

I think it depends whether she was helping him out or doing it all for him because he was incapable/unwilling. My DParents have helped me move house multiple times as an adult and likewise, if they were to move I’d definitely take a day off work and go and help them.

My sister did this for her then 20 year old son, and worse, she brought her 18 year old daughter along to help, meanwhile the 20 year old had fecked off somewhere and left them at it. Ridiculous

it’s the woman that’s going there and doing the work rather than letting him deal with the consequences of his own inactions.