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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

17 year old SD made no effort for Father’s Day.

111 replies

ReginaaPhalangee · 15/06/2025 13:51

AIBU to be pretty pissed off that my 17 year old step daughter, who we have 70/30 with her mum,
made no effort for Father’s Day again this year? She has a part time job and gets an allowance from her dad every month, but again, she claimed that she forgot about Father’s Day (despite, ironically working in a supermarket). I reminded her twice this week and she said she has no money left, so I gave her £20 to get a card and chocolates or anything she wanted to get for him.

shes Not working today and only got up an hour ago and said she forgot. I asked what she did with the money I gave her and she said she spent it on shein.

AIBU to be pissed off that no effort was made? Also AIBU to next year not even bother reminding her?

for context, DH co parents very well with her mum so it’s not like there’s issues there, but she’s 17 - surely she should be making an effort.

shes not even said happy Father’s Day to him.!

OP posts:
Original poster
ReginaaPhalangee · 15/06/2025 14:01

hididdlyho · 15/06/2025 13:59

She should repay you the £20. Does she do anything for her Mum for Mother's Day? I would think it's a bit harsh if she makes an effort for her Mum but not her Dad (assuming she has a good relationship with her Dad). Although, 17 is that selfish age where people tend to think about themselves more than others, so if she wants to skip celebrating Mother's/Father's Day I wouldn't think it was that big of a deal.

She makes plenty of effort for her mum, but again that’s encouragement from me and DH. i fear if she wasn’t reminded, she wouldn’t make the effort.

OP posts:
justkeepswimingswiming · 15/06/2025 14:00

Yabu to get involved.

hididdlyho · 15/06/2025 13:59

She should repay you the £20. Does she do anything for her Mum for Mother's Day? I would think it's a bit harsh if she makes an effort for her Mum but not her Dad (assuming she has a good relationship with her Dad). Although, 17 is that selfish age where people tend to think about themselves more than others, so if she wants to skip celebrating Mother's/Father's Day I wouldn't think it was that big of a deal.

ChesterDrawz · 15/06/2025 13:59

I think YABU to get involved. Let her make her own mistakes/errors of judgment at 17yo.

It's hardly a big deal though anyway, is it? Although we do see on MN plenty of people who get all upset when people don't make enough fuss of their birthday so maybe it is a big deal...

TidyDancer · 15/06/2025 13:58

Remind her she owes you back that £20 then perhaps she’ll feel some small consequences of being crap.

It’s not okay but some teenagers can be selfish little shits at times.

IhaveanewTVnow · 15/06/2025 13:58

It’s very kind of you to remind her. I would do the same as it doesn’t take much. She now owes you £20 though.

Livinginvnam · 15/06/2025 13:56

Given you gave her money for it, clearly not, but frankly I think these days are overhyped marketing gimmicks.

Octonaut4Life · 15/06/2025 13:55

Hard disagree with other posters, it's thoughtful of you to try to prompt her. If she's spent the money on other stuff then congratulations she owes you £20. Really poor behaviour on her part.

ThinWomansBrain · 15/06/2025 13:54

poor on her part - but giving her money and constant reminders at 17 is ridiculous.
that should have been at 10/12 surely?

McCartneyOnTheHeath · 15/06/2025 13:53

This is between her and her dad surely? You shouldn't have given her money. Next year just keep out of it.

InWithPeaceOutWithStress · 15/06/2025 13:52

Why get involved with this? She’s 17, leave her to it.