To think my friend should be teaching her child better stranger awareness

I remember doing this all the time as young child. I didn’t have extensive conversation with them - but definitely gave whatever coins and said a quick hello etc - my mother would be a couple of feet away watching.

Ok I understand.
And agree with you.

I live in a small town where we have a well known homeless man who clearly has mental health issues. I always say hi and ask him how he is and encourage my toddler to say hello as well and he will sometimes chat to us both.

I dont agree with stranger danger and instead teach my child the concept of "tricky people" which is far more sensible and logical.

That said i wouldn't give money because i am cautious of what it will be spent on and dont want to fund the drug industry. You should watch billy moores videos on YouTube he knows lots of homeless people and humanises them and is very knowledgeable about their issues.

But like I said everyone has problems...do we stop and talk to everyone regardless of just the ones whose problems are glaringly obvious?

Why wouldn't it be fine to talk TO the lady/person in the wheelchair?? Quite puzzled by this as wheelchair people still have a voice and if they don't want to talk then they won't.

She isn’t doing anything wrong or reckless because she’s with her child. Stranger danger is about kids on their own talking to or going off with strangers.

Presumably, you don’t think it’s reckless for her and her child to chat with, eg, the people next to them on the bus or serving them in a shop? This is no different.

What do you think these people are actually going to do to your friend’s child that couldn’t also be done by any other adult?

I would hazard a guess that a lot more kids are harmed by family members, childcare workers, school staff, sports coaches, youth workers etc than they are by rough sleepers. Get a grip.

At literally no point does it sound like the mother gave her daughter any indication that she was responsible for the problematic lives of the people they were talking to.

“but there are many many others ways to teach children compassion.”
And yet what’s wrong with treating someone like a human being?

These sort of interactions you've described are natural and spontaneous...not a forced approaching of a person and engaging with them about their lives...most people don't do that. Absolutely everyone you walk past in the street will have a problem of some sort....do you strike up conversation with them all about their problems? Or just the ones who look disheveled?

I don't think that will happen.

But I don't think it's a good idea to teach girls to talk to random men who potentially have drug/alcohol/complex mental health issues ...nor is it a good idea to give them any indication that they hold any form of responsibility to grown adults with problematic lives. Yes the reasons maybe sad...but there are many many others ways to teach children compassion.

Could not agree before. Heaven forbid people actually like to do nice things.

Yes, why? Often when walking down the street people will say good morning to each other, mention the weather etc. If you regularly walk to school, work or just for leisure you will bump.into people and sometimes make polite conversation. Same at bus stop or train station. Have you honestly never had a short conversation with a stranger?

I think it's weird to stop and speak with anyone in London, the beauty of that city is that people just get on with things😂

I don't know if the "beggars" have any interest in a conversation, maybe some do.

Why are people imagining the homeless person is going to kidnap the daughter in front of the mum?

@CountryQueen you can laugh all you like but this thread is about stranger danger, of course I don't send my kids down a dark alleyway to give money to a homeless person. A balance is required, telling kids they can talk to a stranger in an open space with people around is fairly basic parenting. Telling them to ignore everyone because they are strangers is pretty shit parenting in my opinion. Homeless people are people who are homeless, simple as that, not some sub species to be ignored and sneered at. I think its good that my children aren't afraid of 'them' but of course some precautions have to be taken, same as any other stranger.

Unhinged? that's an over-the-top word to use in this scenario. The OP has brought up an interesting point. You're the one that's unhinged!

Are people imagining the homeless person will be moved and pleased to finally be seen as a human, with a name, a backstory and someone showing an interest?

Because obviously the reasons as to why people become homeless are complex but they probably aren’t ones you’d want to get into on the street with a five year old.

Fucking hell 🤣

So if it weren’t for your husband he thinks homeless people will commit robbery and your children can only go near them with adults around, if they make eye contact and only in an open space.

Performative and judgmental. Brilliant

As for your best mate OP. She’s patronising as fuck. Here private school, have zillions of books, my underling will drop them off. Do make sure she knows why dahling.

YABU. What exactly was dangerous in this situation?

I hate that we live in a world where we discourage interaction with strangers, us, even homeless ones. They're still people and some like to chat (sounds like your friends tries to read the mood).

Sometimes kids (and adults) will need to rely on strangers, we need to teach them appropriate awareness and risk assessment, not to just refuse to interact with anyone else and certainly not to inadvertently teach them homeless people are lesser, automatically dangerous and to be avoided.

Your friend sounds amazing.

Oh don’t be so disgusting, it’s nothing like posing for a photo at Auschwitz.

It seems like “performative” is just the buzzword for anything certain mumsnet posters don’t like these days.

Considering it sounds like she does a lot in her life to help people it doesn’t seem performative at all and seems like it’s completely in line with her values.

I think the opposite. I think she recognises her, and more importantly her daughter’s privilege and wants to teach her that it’s kind to help people where she can (and that is not always financial)

If anything you are being the unreasonable one in this scenario

Your friend sounds great. Casual conversation with a stranger when you are with a parent in a public place to me is not reckless. I wish more people were like your friend I think the world would be a kinder place.

It sounds like she’s teaching her daughter compassion. Under her direct supervision, so I’m not sure “stranger danger” applies when she’s right next to her.