To think my friend should be teaching her child better stranger awareness

Maybe not that exact scenario...but yes there have been several cases in the news of children being murdered by strangers...now this sadly seems to happen whether people interact or not. But it's worth remembering that whilst most strangers won't hurt us, it's not exactly a myth that some are dangerous.

I am always surprised half the people on mumsnet every manage to form a relationship and have children given how many clearly hate men and just other people in general.

Yes so Me womenare killed by partners. And how many kids are abused and killed at bus stops saying hello to someone with their parent present. Not heard of any cases of that

Genuinely how is any of that relevant to this situation where someone is having a short conversation in the street, in the middle of the day?

What caution do you think needs to be exercised?
What risk are you suggesting she’s putting her DD in?

But most of us when we date will exercise caution. Meeting in a public place, getting to know someone slowly... using our past experiences and analysing whether we think a man is safe or not. But still women are abused and killed by their partners....

Yes, that's correct. It dosent change my answer to your question though. As far as I am concerned it does not matter whether it is a man or a woman. I would still pass the time of day, say good morning and encourage any children I have to do the same. The very vast majority of people are not out to do you harm. Learning how to risk assess and listen to your instinct is all part of it. I am happy with my approach.
Funnily enough in the 5 years that i have been walking the same route to work twice a day I have only ever witnessed 2 violent crimes. Both were female perpretators against male victims. Both unprovoked.

Yes they are more likely to be harmed by those they know but this is about access rather than strangers being inherently safer.

Makes you wonder how any heterosexual women get husbands / partners if men are too dangerous to even pass the time of day with.

After all going out drinking and back home with a bloke as an adult is far more dangerous that being a child and passing the time of day with a bloke at a bus stop with a parent present but it's the second one people are suggesting is a no no

This.

And I think it's worth bearing in mind that mental health provision in this country is absolutely woeful and unfortunately this has meant that people are not properly supported or taking necessary medication thus making some, not all obviously, potentially prone to violence. And it's also worth bearing in mind that addicts are often desperate and will stop at nothing to get the money they need. Doesn't mean these situations aren't sad or we can't feel compassion for those people ...but does mean we should exercise some caution.

If you look at who commits violent/sexual crime at a higher rate, then yes it very much matters whether it's a man or woman.

I agree.

She isn’t British so I sometimes wonder if it’s a cultural thing?

Where's she from?

And no it won't be 'outing', given how much you've already told us.

@CountryQueen you misinterpret, I didn't say he thinks everyone who is homeless is a thief, i said he doesn't care what they do with the money. The general response from people who do not give money to homeless people is 'but they will only spend it on drink and drugs' which happily coincides with them keeping their money for themselves. Some people (like DH) would argue back that it is up to the person in need how they want to spend the money. It's a fair perspective. As for the idea of drug addicts robbing people to buy drugs, that is well documented and not a concept DH invented.

You asked if people would strike up conversation with random men in the street and encourage their daughters to do so. You never specified what the conversation would be about. I answered your question. Yes I do and would encourage my daughters to pass the time of day by saying good morning, a quick chat about the weather etc. It dosent matter if they are male or female. I never mentioned asking them about their problems or what they looked like, that's all you. It is a strange attitude that you seem to think that all men are evil or have some kind of mental health problem.

She could host the wakes in her husbands restaurant, for free of course.

Maybe pps husband who doesn’t care what it’s spent on as long as he prevents a robbery, could pull a shift waiting on.

I stop and talk to people if I think they need help that I can offer, including homeless people (but also people reaching high shelves at the supermarket, people looking lost etc).

We do the same with our children. I agree with your friend completely. (FYI you never know who will and won’t spend the money on drugs and that’s not our decision to judge).

also you don’t teach children “stranger danger” you teach them situational awareness. All strangers aren’t a danger. You teach them situational awareness so that they can assess situations themselves

“my compassion comes with no strings attached”.

Excellent. So she can happily declare to all and sundry that she facilitated the bag of gear that ended some addict's life. Because that's what her 'compassion' can be - she's buying the bullets, loading the gun and handing it to them. Even if she talks about help they could access, that just changes it to more of a Russian Roulette to be played with their lives; take the red door and you buy a Tesco Meal Deal and a bus ticket to the outreach programme, take the blue door and you buy the death round the back of the car park by the bins, covered with rat shit.

Maybe she should leave her name and phone number so that relatives can invite her to the funerals?

When my kids were young I taught them that they could talk to anyone AS LONG AS I OŔ GRANDMA WERE WITH THEM. They are in no danger with a trusted adult present so I don't see how the child in THE OP was at risk or needed to be worried about strangers.

The only person who I had bother with ( as in sexual abuse) was my grandmothers husband who she had married in 1935 ( many many years before I was born) so he obviously WASNT a stranger

Absolutely this. She sounds lovely and genuinely caring.

Yet your husband assumes if he doesn’t give them a fiver they’ll go and rob someone? Not sure the sneering and judgement is coming too far from your home.

Why do you assume that unless we do thinks your way we are teaching our children to look down on homeless people? Weird way to think.

I'm not sure it would be stranger danger as it's all being done under parent supervision, and many of the complex things that may come up by the time the little one is out on her own can be discussed when she's older.

That said, I do think your friend lucky if she's never had a negative response to this type of generosity, or at least one that isn't negative enough to make her wary of doing this with her young child there. Even as adults, I encourage my children if they want to do something like to do it with other adults with them as there have been cases local to where I am that someone is so mentally unwell and/or impacted by drugs that they last out to being approached with violence or they're entirely unresponsive to the point people think they're dead or other things I wouldn't want to risk with a 5 year old - there are other ways to teach little ones about generosity and the value of all humans, there are ways to treat others as humans other than giving them money and asking personal questions (and I view asking people where they're from to be a personal question, and if you're in an area where there has been a lot of animosity towards immigrants like I'm in, it can be a very loaded personal question).