To think my friend should be teaching her child better stranger awareness

A five year old girl has no obligation or responsibility to cheer up or improve the lives of homeless adults, no matter how sad their backstory.

Apart from the money, the most significant thing your friend is doing is recognising and connecting with other people’s humanity.

“There but for the grace of god etc”… It’s possible to be warm-hearted and have your wits about you.

Sorry but I think you are exposing your own prejudices OP. First most danger to children comes from within the home or people they know. Then from strangers, it’s people who approach the child to befriend them (not vice versa), or people online pretending to be someone else. Then after that it’s from evil people who could be from any walk of life. Then on top of that, if a homeless person is dangerous, that is most likely to be from mental illness, which would be fairly clear on a first approach, or unlikely to come out in a simple conversation, … and while in a public place, most likely standing, while they are seated, the danger has to be negligible, surely? Then on top of that, it will likely be years and years before she is ever on her own, in any circumstance that would allow her to approach a homeless person on her own. So even if she might on some level absorb ‘homeless people aren’t dangerous’ (which is largely true) she wouldn’t have the opportunity to test that out until years and years more growing up and more nuanced cautionary messages bombarding her from thousands of different places.

YABU. You sound very judgemental. My DS gave money and food to the homeless from a young age. He is 16 now and has grown up with a good awareness of stranger danger as well as being compassionate.

It is in no way dangerous

i think this sums it up perfectly. She is showing her child that it’s fine to talk to people when out and about in a public place.

It doesn’t mean that it’s polite to grill them about why they are in a wheelchair. People can speak for themselves but equally are often reluctant to appear rude, especially to small children.

Anyway, it’s interesting the way the thread has gone. I had a feeling it would be laden with sarcasm about how awful it is people talk to one another and that’s not really it. What the woman is doing is in essence saying to her child that these people are safe, that they can be approached and that this is the marker of a ‘good’ person. I don’t think it is a terrible thing to do, but I do think a certain amount of caution is wise to teach children even if only through modelling it yourself.

The thread has a certain amount of moral exhibitionism going on here. Some posters seem to be falling over themselves to praise and say how wonderful a total stranger is to do a load of supposedly 'kind' things, and, typically, to describe their warm and caring husbands and relatives. So the posters get to look all warm and caring, at no risk or expense to themselves. I don't think that's kindness, just posturing.

My very stingy dad used to park in a red light district of our city because it was free and walk with me to the train station to collect my brother. He and I were approached several times by prostitutes and he was always respectful to them. I appreciate that about him but equally I do think it was a very risky thing to do and I wouldn’t be thrilled if DH did that with our kids when they are teenagers!

Which is why I said if they don't want to talk they won't. Wheelchair users are generally capable of speaking up for themselves.

Because other people aren’t an educational tool. They might not want to talk about why they are in the wheelchair. They might not want to talk at all. And if they do, they might well not want to talk about their disability.

This

Do you think because you don’t see it that it doesn’t exist?

We don’t teach stranger danger anymore. Doing so leads children to fear strangers, and that is NOT something we want.

They don’t want kids to taught that they are only or mainly at risk of being hurt/ abused by strangers. They want them to be aware that people known to them can also be a threat. That’s not the same as saying strangers are fine and non threatening and children should interact with them freely.
They’re still taught not to open the door to someone they don’t know etc and online safety is largely based around not talking to strangers.

absolute nonsense, it's not what I see anywhere at all.

Primary schools have lockdown practice in England! And kids are warned about unwanted "danger" but also about "strangers" in their schools!

Don't teach your kids about stranger danger, but that's madness.

It absolutely is. Police and child safety experts explicitly say it’s an outdated concept and not to teach stranger danger.

Well exactly. I'm in London and most of the homeless people I see are middle aged white men so I have no idea what the pps comment was all about.

Most of the homeless men in my area are middle aged white men. I volunteer for a foodbank so I meet them on a regular basis. You wouldn't believe this judging by the racist posts on Facebook though regarding anything in the local paper or from the council.

a homeless man not far from her was verbally harassed and then physically beaten by a group of 10-12 “kids”- they found it so funny they filmed it and posted it to their snapchat stories, 2 of them live streamed it on Facebook

This is the far greater problem in our society, than the extremely rare cases of children coming to harm on the streets from strangers.
We are raising children to be fearful and suspicious, to have no social skills, to see other people as objects without humanity, and to have no empathy.
In the worst cases, the children are so poorly socialised that they are susceptible to influence from psychopathic peers in their groups, with no moderating or correcting influences from adults.

However, I would never give money to a child to give to a beggar - only to a busker. Money should only be given by the adult to a beggar, preferably directly into their hands not into a cup/hat/vessel.
OP, as you friend is not from British culture, perhaps discuss with her the fine distinction the Brits make, how buskers and street performers are different to beggars.

I work with charities and I’ve had less threats and scares from the homeless than I have middle aged white men

Are there no middle aged white homeless men then?

@Clariy not a problem with her actions or parenting based on your updates. But I would also be making sure I explained to my children how to deal with a situation should it start to feel uncomfortable. If the person starts to follow them etc. or if they ask for a hug and her daughter doesn’t want to. Her compassion etc is lovely, but it’s making sure children are as comfortable and confident dealing with changes in the situation/moment that Id want to see.

That would assist in all manner of situations with homeless, men and boys that become a threat, bullying situations later in schools or workplaces.. her child needs to know about dealing with general threats and dangers in society.

i work with charities and I’ve had less threats and scares from the homeless than I have middle aged white men.

Yabu its not like your friend wasn't their with her.

It’s an odd thing to do and not good parenting.
If someone is begging and starts speaking to me or my dc, if they seem ok and friendly I will chat to them same as I would anyone else and dc can join in the conversation if they feel like it. If I give money I do it quickly and discreetly and don’t make a thing out of it. Most people begging are mortified to be doing it and that’s what people generally do where I’m from.
I would never give the money to dd to hand it over and I definitely wouldn’t encourage her to talk to some random person on the street. A lot of people begging where I’m from are drunk or will tell stories about totally inappropriate things.
My brother was always very compassionate and would talk to anyone as a kid/ teenager. In his teens he got talking to a homeless guy who was begging on the street, listening to his life story etc After a while the man suddenly sexually assaulted him right there in the street. I think a lot of people on here are very naive. You don’t know who the fuck these people are. A homeless person once came up and stole something out of my toddlers hand in her stroller. I have a lot of sympathy for people who end up homeless. I have several homeless relatives and used to live in an area with loads of homeless people because it was in the city centre near several big hostels.
They are not there to provide an opportunity for anyone to teach their children about compassion or to give anyone their back story. They are also more likely to be dangerous than other random people in the street. There used to be a man who begged on the bridge in my town. Tourists used to put money in his hand, shake his hand etc I saw this happening once only a few minutes after I’d seen that same man down a lane pulling a bag of drugs out of his arse to sell to two other men. I know this isn’t a very nice thing to bring up but I really think a lot of people are incredibly naive about the realities of homelessness.

Yes but not kids with their parents in a public place who have dared to exchange the time of day.

Weird thread. You're very defensive of her op, despite starting a thread disagreeing with her actions.

I reckon if women abused, assaulted and murdered men at the same rate that men do to women, men would absolutely despise us

Yes, YABU.

Your friend is a compassionate, charitable person and wants her daughter to be the same, rather than someone who finds it more comfortable to just look the other way. Mind your own business.