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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My kids are very outgoing/ sociable, want to talk to everyone. Is it because I don’t give them enough attention ?

34 replies

supersosh · 15/06/2025 09:28

my two are 3 and 5 and just aren’t shy. They’re always talking to adults and kids alike.

they have always been like this.

it’s a nice thing for sure, but I don’t know many other kids who are like this. I know maybe one or two, but most kids I see are pretty quiet and a bit shy with strangers.

we have quite a tight knit family and they see grandparents a lot and aunts and uncles.

I have a couple of concerns about it. Firstly, I don’t really think they have stranger danger or understand that not all people are nice and they shouldn’t be over friendly with everyone. This is something I need to work on. Of course we’ve explained you can’t go with strangers etc and they know those principles, but they’re just very friendly with everyone. They know the theory behind not going with strangers, but not sure they’d be ok in practice.

secondly, I worry that somehow we don’t give them enough attention or something and they’re seeking it elsewhere? I know that’s probably silly and mum guilt. We adore them and give them plenty of attention, but you do wonder why they’re like this.

anyway, am I being silly here or is this a problem ?

OP posts:
maslinpan · 15/06/2025 09:42

Dd was always a bit more reserved, and DS has always been super sociable and chatty. That is their innate personality and we didn't do anything different with them..

PlantDoctor · 15/06/2025 09:40

Sounds lovely then :) they are just extroverts!

Original poster
supersosh · 15/06/2025 09:39

Or at the supermarket checkout, they love talking to people there and people are so friendly to them. Or at the doctors, wherever they go really.

OP posts:
Original poster
supersosh · 15/06/2025 09:38

PlantDoctor · 15/06/2025 09:35

Where are you when they are talking to adults? I assume you are nearby and watching on, rather than sat on a bench talking to your mate or on your phone? If the latter, you need to give them more attention, but if the former, then what are you worried about?

Also kids that age DON'T understand that some people are not nice. Age-appropriate talks about this are important to have regularly. I've always told DD if she gets lost then she looks for a mummy with a child to help if at all possible, and stays where she is rather than trying to find me. We sometimes make a game out of looking for a good person to ask when we are out together.

Sometimes I’m there, for example on the school run or something , while we are walking around. Other times I am told about it when I’m not there by other mums. They’ll tell me that my DD spoke to them when they were picking up their kid or something.

sometimes it’s just at the playground or whatever or at the softplay and I’m there too and no, not just on my phone.

OP posts:
Original poster
supersosh · 15/06/2025 09:36

At school the teachers say they’ve very vocal and talk a lot / able to express themselves. They just never shut up.

also, I think they like to talk to people, because people are so lovely to them when they do. Wherever we go, people chat to them and are just so friendly, so they engage with that.

OP posts:
PlantDoctor · 15/06/2025 09:35

Where are you when they are talking to adults? I assume you are nearby and watching on, rather than sat on a bench talking to your mate or on your phone? If the latter, you need to give them more attention, but if the former, then what are you worried about?

Also kids that age DON'T understand that some people are not nice. Age-appropriate talks about this are important to have regularly. I've always told DD if she gets lost then she looks for a mummy with a child to help if at all possible, and stays where she is rather than trying to find me. We sometimes make a game out of looking for a good person to ask when we are out together.

catlovingdoctor · 15/06/2025 09:34

I think it's a wonderful thing. We need gregarious and sociable people. They are more likely to have a wider circle when they're older which is good for their well-being. Some people obviously need more than others by way of connection and maybe they're finding what they prefer. As long as they aren't especially gullible or too trusting, which I think would be a separate thing altogether. I was on a bus the other day and a young girl randomly chatted to me about her day, asking me where I was going etc... I thought it was lovely 😊

Original poster
supersosh · 15/06/2025 09:32

Thanks so much. I think it’s because my mum said my niece used to be a bit like this and that I was never ever like this as a child and just stuck to her side and was more careful. She thought it’s because my niece doesn’t get enough attention. Although I completely disagree with that. My niece has very engaged parents. Anyway, apparently my nieces mum totally bollocked her for her over friendliness and now she doesn’t do it anymore.

my DD is the type to comment on people’s outfits ( even though I literally never do it !!! ). She’ll be like ‘ hi Amy’s mum, I love your top ‘ 😂😂😂 or ‘ look Jane’s mummy, I have a new skirt. What do you think ? ‘.

OP posts:
WhereIsMyJumper · 15/06/2025 09:29

That’s totally mom guilt talking. Carry on with talking about Stranger Danger etc and be happy they’re so confident!

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