My kids are very outgoing/ sociable, want to talk to everyone. Is it because I don’t give them enough attention ?

I think my Dd is like this because she IS very confident in my attention and secure in our attachment! At approaching 7 she has a developing sense of danger and who is safe to talk to etc, I dont think she is any more naive than any other 6 year old. We have done a few of Nurtured First (on instagram) courses on body safety etc and that’s helped her express boundaries. My son is the same at 4. We have listened to the Topsy and Tim
story “meet the police” and talked about only talking to adult strangers if I am with him. I love that they will actively enjoy holiday camps, sports teams etc because they are sociable, I was the opposite as a child (and it wasnt because I got a lot of attention!! Rather the opposite!)

My kids are 4 and 6 and exactly like this. And sometimes they will insist on a stranger being a best friend and want us to take them home. And they want to go to certain friends' home all the time. Normally I just think they are very sociable. But for the first time this week I questioned whether it's because am so busy with work and they don't get enough attention. I know I should get a better work life balance and work on so many aspects of me as a mum (and as a wife). But I also know deep down that am irrational. They are just sociable

Mine were exactly the same at the same ages, DS1 is just starting to get more self conscious at 9.

I always thought it was a good thing they were confident and sociable.

Just sounds like their natural personality type. It's a positive thing embrace it!

It's the complete opposite of you not paying them enough attention. They are chatty and confident because you've paid them lots of attention.

Confidence and sociability are two of the best starts in life, more useful even than wealth or intelligence.

Stop the guilt! It’s their personality, fuelled by feeling secure and loved by you and their wider family.

Time to talk about safer adults.

You're worried that your kids are articulate and confident?! Sounds like You're doing a fine job to me. I would be far more worried about kids who just stare at you silently when you so much as say hello to them. I assume that they come from introverted families who aren't teaching them essential social skills (not necessarily the 3 year olds, but it is concerning in older children).

I also work on the assumption that confident children are going to find it much easier to say things like "Stop! I don't like that!" or "Hello, can you please help me, that man is scaring me" etc.

I've come to ask for parenting tips, as ny two are the complete opposite and I try to model it but even a hello can be a struggle. But then I was the same as a kid.

There's some great books about stranger danger. Otherwise, be proud that you have two confident kids.

No it doesn't mean you don't give them enough attention. It's nice to have confident, sociable children, but they are still young and often become more self conscious anyway as they get older.

Must add that my nephew is an only child with tons of aunties, uncles etc.No shortage of attention from the wider family. I used to worry about his overfriendliness - we live in Asia where people are more restrained- but he is actually quite adroit in reading social cues and reacting appropriately.

My nephew was like this from the time he was a baby, he is 10 now and still very people oriented. As a baby he would wave and smile at every person he saw and as a toddler he would run away from us towards strangers when we were on holiday overseas. We had so many panic attacks! Of course people loved him back in return, we got to know everyone because of him. If we took him to a wedding or party, he would be the centre of attention. He has an uncanny gift for talking to adults in a very mature way. There was a short fraught period when he went to school where he did not know how to interact with his peers as he did not like sharing attention. His way of dealing with it was to misbehave in class and he ended up having one to one time with the principal which he loved. So school was initially difficult but he has learned to interact with his peers now. He is visiting me today and is at the local playground now, as it is 6pm where I am. He knows everyone here and everyone in the neighbourhood knows him. when he returns from the playground, a troop of children will come with him and I will have to deal with them, trying to get them to return home.

Some kids just have an outsized personality.

My youngest loves to talk to strangers, he's always greeting people who walk by with a cheerful hello and I encourage it as its one of those things that are taught as good manners in my country, to greet people you meet, which probably explains why older people look so delighted when he does it to them and stop and say hello back, and sometimes have a little conversation.

I have twins, preschoolers. Raised the same etc etc. One will stick with me and find little games to play to amuse himself, the other will go up to people, say "I love your hair!" and plonk herself down at their table for a chat. Has learnt that having a big smile and some confidence can get her very far.

If anything it shows that you are a good mum and have taught them to be confident and outgoing.

Sadly a lot of children - especially in the UK - don't have these skills. A point that is very very obvious if you go to other countries. For example: I was at Disneyland in California with family friends the other month, and was initially a bit taken aback (and then very impressed actually) with the number of kiddos who would engage us with conversation when waiting for their turn on rides etc. It was really very sweet and heartwarming. They knew all about stranger-danger, but also knew that their parents were right there with them. They were curious, well mannered, well spoken, and clearly very interested to talk to other people not only about themselves but also to learn about other countries and what other people were up to. I wish more kids in the UK had that confidence and the ability to engage in conversation with all kinds of people.

Sadly it's painfully apparent in the UK that many children have woeful communication skills - and it shows when they start looking for jobs. They have no clue how to talk to other people, especially those who aren't in their peer group. And it means they are severely disadvantaged in interviews.

So - don't worry about your children being chatty and outgoing.

My eldest was like this. She once got chatting to the lady opposite her on the train and invited her over for tea. It was only a 20 minute train journey!
She is in her teens now and whilst she is still very sociable she is much more reserved with strangers now

My 5 year old is like this ☺️ 2 year old can be as well but is a bit more shy. I see it as a positive!

It means you have done an amazing job as a parent bringing up 2 confident out-going little people. Yes obviously reinforce the stranger danger but don’t change them!

It's definitely nothing to do with lack of attention it's because you have raised happy confident little people. You should feel proud not guilty.

My dc are exactly the same! I have 4 they chat to everyone dd9 likes to give compliments to strangers eg I love your hair your dress is beautiful. I get what you mean re stranger danger though it worries me too. My dc are always talking so mainly I'm just happy they are bending someone else's ear 🤣

My 8 yo dgs is the same. He's an only child & is always looking to make friends when we're out. He has a lot of attention from us, his parents, cousins etc.
He had speech therapy because he had a speech delay as a toddler, then a stammer which seems to have disappeared. Listening to him chat to other people is like music to my ears & I'm so proud of him after all the worry about his speech. Everyone seems to love him & he's popular at school.
It sounds like I'm just making this about him, but I'm not. I'm trying to say don't worry about them. Of course, as a pp said, always keep an eye on them & never take your eye off the ball. Teach them about stranger danger & try to make sure they're not too trusting & gullible; but don't hold them back by discouraging their social skills x

I don't understand how you are seeing your DC be happy and confident, and thinking that is in any way a bad thing? At those ages they shouldn't be expected to know that some people are dangerous. They are not going to be anywhere unsupervised until they are older and better able to understand.

I had one like that. They are now a monosyllabic teenager so let them talk while they still want to!

My kids talk to anyone. It's great. We go on holiday to strange places with people who don't even speak English and they make friends. Some kids are just really grounded like that. It's served my kids well. They are grown up now and have great relationships and jobs