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AIBU?

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Original poster

Father in law asked why we didn’t use protection.

85 replies

UK2NO23 · 14/06/2025 21:34

My husband and I have an almost one year old and we have recently told our families that we are expecting after confirmation at our first scan.
My husband has been over his parents’ house today and seen them face to face for the first time since. I did not attend but my husband came home and told me that his father had asked why we didn’t use protection.
I wasn’t present so I don’t know the full context or tone of the conversation but I am quite hurt by the comment. Unsure if hormones are making me unreasonable.

(Just for context, yes baby was unplanned but we did want another eventually and are happy about the situation.)

OP posts:
Floranan · 14/06/2025 22:04

Better than my MIL comment at 12 weeks she said “it’s not too late to get rid of it you know”. This was for our first and very much wanted child ! I won’t tell you what she said about the following ones!

Springadorable · 14/06/2025 22:02

Husband: guess what, we're having another baby! Not planned but hey, guess we should have thought about that before
FIL: what, were you not using protection?

Reasonable conversation. Depends on how the subject was raised.

KurtShirty · 14/06/2025 22:00

God how intrusive of him!

AnneLovesGilbert · 14/06/2025 21:59

Well were you?

brunettemic · 14/06/2025 21:56

Because your husband said it wasn’t planned, which makes it a reasonable question. It’s pretty obvious really.

BrickHare · 14/06/2025 21:55

Well what exactly did your husband say? Context is missing here. However you said you weren’t actively trying to get pregnant, so baby was unplanned. Why it is such a shock for your FIL to ask that, when you’re pregnant due to not using protection? Weird comment but I mean he’s not wrong.

MugsyBalonz · 14/06/2025 21:46

Do you normally have a good relationship with FIL or is this comment part of wider issues?

YANBU for feeling hurt. When we told FIL I was pregnant with DC3 he incredulously asked why and then said he wasn't happy about it at all because "only one of you is in work!" (for context, I was a SAHM by mutual agreement following redundancy and DH was/is well paid).

wafflesmgee · 14/06/2025 21:37

That is really rude, I’d be upset too. Ultimately it’s not worth losing a positive FIL relationship over, but it’s ok to feel hurt by his insensitivity

LadyKenya · 14/06/2025 21:37

You were not there to hear the conversation, and have no idea how your Husband framed things.

Guavafish1 · 14/06/2025 21:36

i Won’t be upset…. What did your husband say… Yeah I know….. it’s all context. Was out said in jest?

im not sure why your husband told you?