Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Thread gallery
19
SquashedMallow · 17/06/2025 07:36

ThePhantomoftheEcobubbleOpera · 17/06/2025 07:22

"Despite reviews, reports and inquiries raising questions about men from Asian or Pakistani backgrounds grooming and sexually exploiting young White girls, the system has consistently failed to fully acknowledge this or collect accurate data so it can be examined effectively. Instead, flawed data is used repeatedly to dismiss claims about ‘Asian grooming gangs’ as sensationalised, biased or untrue."

It's such a relief to see this gaslighting be called out in an official source.

I completely agree. White UK born people have really had tape over their mouths for around 10+years. We need to be able to call out truths where they're seen without having to pretzel ourselves into putting caveats that we aren't racist and we know not all Pakistani men are like that etc. it's a pendulum that's swung way too far. We all must be able to call all people and cultures out when things are going wrong. All voices need to be heard, so long as it's objective, we shouldn't be buying into the tired narrative of "shut up. You're racist" and letting it silence people. It really doesn't take an Einstein amongst us, to realise that people who are able to identify the link with Pakistani men and abuse of white girls in particular, are suddenly going to go round being abusive and spewing hate for black and brown people living and working normally amongst us!!!! It's so childish to assume that.

OpheliaWasntMad · 17/06/2025 07:34

And the Pakistani community need to internally address this.
Im a Catholic and we were horrified and sickened by the news of child abuse by Catholic priests. Catholic lay people have worked hard to put procedures in place to protect children from it happening again.Many many conversations and discussions have taken place internally. Attitudes have shifted, lay people have become empowered .
This all needs to happen in the Pakistani community. They will be stronger and better for it.

TranceNation · 17/06/2025 07:31

TildaSwan · 17/06/2025 00:34

I was thinking exactly the same thing. It wouldn't be at all unlikely if she were to resign.

She's just yet another slippery self serving power hungry lying politician.

GingerBeverage · 17/06/2025 07:30

Why can’t they infer ethnicity from names? Or find out afterwards? Just because it’s not officially recorded doesn’t mean it’s a mystery.

  • The ethnicity of grooming gangs is "shied away from and is still not recorded for two-thirds of perpetrators", it finds
OpheliaWasntMad · 17/06/2025 07:28

Absolutely. Although I can understand why many Asian people want precision in the collecting of ethnicity data. Asian is too generic . The perpetrators mainly came from the Pakistani community. It’s not fair on the wider Asian community ( tsome of whom were also victims- eg Sikh girls)

PinkImbrella · 17/06/2025 07:27

The triggernometry team did a good podcast episode on this.

Spotify

https://open.spotify.com/episode/0ptz5YAYnJG0qRTldzOiRH?si=57JYxS7oS9Sqcm0FG5bOiQ

ThePhantomoftheEcobubbleOpera · 17/06/2025 07:22

"Despite reviews, reports and inquiries raising questions about men from Asian or Pakistani backgrounds grooming and sexually exploiting young White girls, the system has consistently failed to fully acknowledge this or collect accurate data so it can be examined effectively. Instead, flawed data is used repeatedly to dismiss claims about ‘Asian grooming gangs’ as sensationalised, biased or untrue."

It's such a relief to see this gaslighting be called out in an official source.

SquashedMallow · 17/06/2025 07:18

OpheliaWasntMad · 17/06/2025 00:10

There’s a lot of deflection in your post .
No mention of the Casey report or the grooming gangs we are discussing. You can’t keep using those tactics.

I agree. I hope @Fetaface read my post on the Spanish/British drunkenness example, because if I say so myself, it highlights perfectly the 'whatabouttery' with this and how it all falls apart.

Stop drinking the kool aid people! No @Fetaface UK men are not conditioned to treat women badly - that's utter rubbish. I'd say it's actually the complete opposite for the last couple of decades. We live in a first world country with equality for both sexes, that's written in our law. Yes abusive men exist, yes there's many examples of that in the UK. But you're wrong , as a society , In the UK , men are NOT taught or encouraged to treat women badly. You're reflecting as the above poster says. It's getting tired. It's why that report was needed.

Fetaface · 17/06/2025 00:54

fairfat40 · 17/06/2025 00:40

Missing the point, no? These abusers were caught - presumably the police acted.

Good.

That’s how it should work when a crime takes place.

You’re correct of course. There are predators of every race and creed. And as we live in a society that is 82% white, I’m not surprised about this case. As we know CSA is endemic.

I think the reason for the outrage (well, my outrage) is that the girls in Rotherham etc were ignored and the rapists were let go Scott free because they didn’t want to be labelled racist. Because Labour didn’t want to lose the vote of the Asian community.

These girls were collateral damage.

People in authority let these abusers act with impunity. Police. Social workers. Politicians.

They did it for a quiet life.

For me THAT is the question.

A separate question is whether Asian are over-represented per capita. I don’t know.

But I do know I want the people in authority held to account.

Still happens because of the quota! What has changed? Because the CPS want to fudge the data they have admitted to that. Why are we talking in the past tense - it is certainly continuing today with the quota.

What has your MP said about the quota?

fairfat40 · 17/06/2025 00:40

saraclara · 14/06/2025 23:38

How many of you heard as much about this gang as you have about the latest Pakistani one?

https://www.gmp.police.uk/news/greater-manchester/news/news/2025/april/victim-of-blackrod-grooming-gang-shares-devastating-impact-on-her-life-as-final-men-sentenced/

The remaining six members of a group of 10 men who groomed, raped and sexually abused underage girls in Blackrod, Bolton, between 2016 and 2018 have been sentenced at Liverpool Crown Court today, Tuesday 29 April 2025.
Daniel Flatters, Jack Poulson, Cory Barrett, James Fitzgerald, Richard Haslam, and Elliott Turner are the final six men that have been handed substantial sentences for a range of sexual offences.
They have each been placed on the Sex Offenders’ Register.

A grooming gang of white British sexual abusers. One of the majority of grooming gangs that are white, but who we don't hear about. I can't imagine why.

Missing the point, no? These abusers were caught - presumably the police acted.

Good.

That’s how it should work when a crime takes place.

You’re correct of course. There are predators of every race and creed. And as we live in a society that is 82% white, I’m not surprised about this case. As we know CSA is endemic.

I think the reason for the outrage (well, my outrage) is that the girls in Rotherham etc were ignored and the rapists were let go Scott free because they didn’t want to be labelled racist. Because Labour didn’t want to lose the vote of the Asian community.

These girls were collateral damage.

People in authority let these abusers act with impunity. Police. Social workers. Politicians.

They did it for a quiet life.

For me THAT is the question.

A separate question is whether Asian are over-represented per capita. I don’t know.

But I do know I want the people in authority held to account.

TildaSwan · 17/06/2025 00:34

TranceNation · 17/06/2025 00:21

Surely Jess Philips position is already untenable.

I was thinking exactly the same thing. It wouldn't be at all unlikely if she were to resign.

Fetaface · 17/06/2025 00:32

OpheliaWasntMad · 17/06/2025 00:24

You have made a lot of generalisations about the misogyny in the U.K. but your point seemed to be that misogyny was rife and no one group was any more responsible than another for the grooming gang scandal.

Thankfully the Casey report was more specific and precise in its analysis.

I copied and pasted below for your information.

A report into sexual abuse carried out by grooming gangs in England and Wales says there was a "collective failure to address questions about the ethnicity of grooming gangs"

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c6292x36d4pt

Nope I haven't said they were equal in their amounts at all. That is YOUR assumption and quote wrong. You said I should eat my hat about saying the UK is misogynistic. It is. Hence why we have interventions such as Tackling Violence Against Women and Girls Strategy. We wouldn't need that if the Uk was respectful to females now would we?

Thanks for the information. I knew all that you have linked so not quite sure why you posted it. The data is there and I have commented on that further up the thread. You seem to have failed in reading where I did that. I actually talked about the different ways data can be analysed as an equivalent fraction in comparison. So why did you not link to where I did that? Or would that not have portrayed me in the light that you wished to pretend about me? Ironic eh?

So what is your point? Are you going to make one to me or are you going to make up more fabrications about me as you just did?

OpheliaWasntMad · 17/06/2025 00:24

Fetaface · 17/06/2025 00:14

I haven't spoken on the Casey report. Sorry is there rules on here on what I have to talk about. So many others on this thread haven't mentioned it but you are the boss of the thread and tell me off for not doing so but ignore others who do the same, righto?

So what were you saying? That I should be ashamed for saying the UK isn't respectful of women. I stand by what I said, that we have a VAWG issue in the UK leading to interventions necessary to safeguard females because it is far from a respectful place.

I have mentioned grooming gangs - they are rapists. It was the first line of my response. Did you miss the bit where I said I wanted all rapists held to account or are you pretending I didn't say that?

How is it deflection to A) respond to my quote with you saying I should eat my hat now as you apparently think it was wrong for me to say the UK and white men are not respectful towards women and B) because I didn't say grooming gangs but called them rapists so that is deflecting.

Edited

You have made a lot of generalisations about the misogyny in the U.K. but your point seemed to be that misogyny was rife and no one group was any more responsible than another for the grooming gang scandal.

Thankfully the Casey report was more specific and precise in its analysis.

I copied and pasted below for your information.

A report into sexual abuse carried out by grooming gangs in England and Wales says there was a "collective failure to address questions about the ethnicity of grooming gangs"

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c6292x36d4pt

'Collective failure' to address questions about grooming gangs' ethnicity, says Casey report

Home Secretary Yvette Cooper says the government will now require ethnicity and nationality data to be collected for all child sexual abuse cases.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c6292x36d4pt

TranceNation · 17/06/2025 00:21

Surely Jess Philips position is already untenable.

Fetaface · 17/06/2025 00:14

OpheliaWasntMad · 17/06/2025 00:10

There’s a lot of deflection in your post .
No mention of the Casey report or the grooming gangs we are discussing. You can’t keep using those tactics.

I haven't spoken on the Casey report. Sorry is there rules on here on what I have to talk about. So many others on this thread haven't mentioned it but you are the boss of the thread and tell me off for not doing so but ignore others who do the same, righto?

So what were you saying? That I should be ashamed for saying the UK isn't respectful of women. I stand by what I said, that we have a VAWG issue in the UK leading to interventions necessary to safeguard females because it is far from a respectful place.

I have mentioned grooming gangs - they are rapists. It was the first line of my response. Did you miss the bit where I said I wanted all rapists held to account or are you pretending I didn't say that?

How is it deflection to A) respond to my quote with you saying I should eat my hat now as you apparently think it was wrong for me to say the UK and white men are not respectful towards women and B) because I didn't say grooming gangs but called them rapists so that is deflecting.

OpheliaWasntMad · 17/06/2025 00:10

Fetaface · 16/06/2025 23:19

Eaten my hat on what? That all rapists should be held to account and all victims should be supported?

Still stand by that. No hat to be eaten.

Why do you think we shouldn't hold all to account or help all victims? Please lay out your case for ignoring some?

The Uk culture is to treat women badly hence why we have a quota on rape meaning victims of rape are actively ignored and evidence is destroyed and rapists who confess are given the green light to do it again. We have 90% of girls in schools being sexually abused by boys but nope the culture is of respect you say? We have girls in school uniforms being harassed by men and mn groping people left right and centre on buses and in the bars. We also have so many women who are not respected and treated as skivvies in the home because men do not respect women. So nope I do not find the UK is respectful of women at all.

Absolutely it is not. Hence why the call for misogyny to be a hate crime and that Prevent have a focus on incel behaviour but do tell why that is? And those few dead women each week are thankful of the respect in the UK along with the majority of women who wake up being raped/assaulted by their partners who think consent isn't a thing when asleep or the pregnant women for who abuse is more common than morning sickness. That respect you mean? yeah we are rolling in it.

Edited

There’s a lot of deflection in your post .
No mention of the Casey report or the grooming gangs we are discussing. You can’t keep using those tactics.

Fetaface · 16/06/2025 23:19

SquashedMallow · 16/06/2025 21:00

I hope you've eaten your hat following the report, or at the very least made it food for thought for you to reflect on.

Edited

Eaten my hat on what? That all rapists should be held to account and all victims should be supported?

Still stand by that. No hat to be eaten.

Why do you think we shouldn't hold all to account or help all victims? Please lay out your case for ignoring some?

The Uk culture is to treat women badly hence why we have a quota on rape meaning victims of rape are actively ignored and evidence is destroyed and rapists who confess are given the green light to do it again. We have 90% of girls in schools being sexually abused by boys but nope the culture is of respect you say? We have girls in school uniforms being harassed by men and mn groping people left right and centre on buses and in the bars. We also have so many women who are not respected and treated as skivvies in the home because men do not respect women. So nope I do not find the UK is respectful of women at all.

Absolutely it is not. Hence why the call for misogyny to be a hate crime and that Prevent have a focus on incel behaviour but do tell why that is? And those few dead women each week are thankful of the respect in the UK along with the majority of women who wake up being raped/assaulted by their partners who think consent isn't a thing when asleep or the pregnant women for who abuse is more common than morning sickness. That respect you mean? yeah we are rolling in it.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 16/06/2025 21:33

ilovebrie8 · 16/06/2025 19:39

Maggie Oliver what a woman …why isn’t she on the honours lists…

Perhaps because she's objective in detailing issues which our leaders would rather not address, and won't shut up about them?

Typo

TheNuthatch · 16/06/2025 21:13

ThePhantomoftheEcobubbleOpera · 16/06/2025 21:09

Our teachers just turned a blind eye as girls got picked up in the school car park by these bastards. And then they just slowly all dropped off the radar.

Early 90s, an area with a lot of poverty and struggling through the recession. The girls were easy pickings, hungry latch key kids.

Yep, sounds familiar. Most of our teachers weren't bothered, but this particular teacher really tried her best. One of my school friends is a victim. Everybody knew what was going on. My parents warned me about it. It was common knowledge and we all knew which areas to avoid.

ThePhantomoftheEcobubbleOpera · 16/06/2025 21:09

Our teachers just turned a blind eye as girls got picked up in the school car park by these bastards. And then they just slowly all dropped off the radar.

Early 90s, an area with a lot of poverty and struggling through the recession. The girls were easy pickings, hungry latch key kids.

TheNuthatch · 16/06/2025 21:07

Ncfo · 16/06/2025 21:01

This is a much bigger problem than I think people realise. I grew up in a nice town in the SE. At around 12-15 years old , several of my friends (all poorer white teenage girls) would be driven around at all hours by pakistani men. I went a few times and it was insane. They would buy us fags, booze etc. I was locked in a house once and escaped when I screamed upon realising the door was locked and a nice one unlocked the door. I never went again. The girls found this normal. The men were all maybe 25-40 ish. I think it was a few different groups, not all connected. A few of them ended up having babies with them and never sharing the father’s identities. Back then you didn’t realise it’s the sort of thing to report. I’m now 30, I can’t imagine it stops.

I'm sorry you experienced that. Sounds like you had a lucky escape.
It was rife where I grew up. One of the teachers would keep all the girls in my class behind if these 'men' were waiting outside school. The teachers knew exactly what was happening, police didn't care.

Ncfo · 16/06/2025 21:01

This is a much bigger problem than I think people realise. I grew up in a nice town in the SE. At around 12-15 years old , several of my friends (all poorer white teenage girls) would be driven around at all hours by pakistani men. I went a few times and it was insane. They would buy us fags, booze etc. I was locked in a house once and escaped when I screamed upon realising the door was locked and a nice one unlocked the door. I never went again. The girls found this normal. The men were all maybe 25-40 ish. I think it was a few different groups, not all connected. A few of them ended up having babies with them and never sharing the father’s identities. Back then you didn’t realise it’s the sort of thing to report. I’m now 30, I can’t imagine it stops.

SquashedMallow · 16/06/2025 21:00

Fetaface · 15/06/2025 00:06

The patriarchy and misogyny is clear in all cultures with regards to attitudes towards women. The elephant in the room is that we like to say 'not in our culture' but it bloody well is.

I mean it is the UK culture to call these girls prostitutes - the UK culture has defined this crime as being one of a reciprocal agreement and has placed it at a low level of intervention for SS. Historically in the UK this was called child prostitution. The definition put the blame on the child. The definition STILL puts the blame on the child. That is our culture.

Edited

I hope you've eaten your hat following the report, or at the very least made it food for thought for you to reflect on.

SquashedMallow · 16/06/2025 20:57

Finally we now might be on the turn, back to balance for all. Because these last few years the pendulum has well and truly swung to silence uk majorities to top toe around minority groups. That is not balance, but we've been heavily brainwashed in a concentrated fashion to believe things such as critical race theory are fact. It's crazy really when you look at it. You can see the deeply ingrained brainwashing in action on here.

"White people can't experience racism. Fact" no... Not fact.

"You don't get to have a voice because you're privileged" unfair.

"You cannot say anything about any minority group in the UK , because you're racist if you do" bullshit, we all must be accountable.

And you know who's peddling most of these lies ? Middle class white women living in nice picket fence lined rural streets.

One lot of humans doesn't get to shut down another lot of humans. We're all human and all should accept the flaws and triumphs of our inherent cultures and religions and ways of life. It's only then that we can even hope to come together.

Swipe left for the next trending thread