To be furious about inevitable menopause

And I’m at the top of my game, and confidently kick ass professionally every day —granted at 57 that’s metaphorical, one doesn’t want a gippy hip—

I think God herself decided after a lifetime of debilitating periods and infertility to cut me slack at menopause, so I had it easy compared to others. I also didn’t know that perimenopause was a thing, so that was a thing less to worry about.

you may be lucky, you may not but that’s what HRT is for

Not necessarily. Just because the (peri) menopause is being talked about more now and there’s far more awareness about it than there used to be, which is obviously a great thing, it doesn’t mean every woman will suffer all or any negative symptoms. Don’t waste the time during which you are feeling great worrying about a scenario that may never even happen. If it does, there’s far more help available now. Women have always survived this stage of life since time began. You’ll be no different.

what happened to the world?

that scene with Kristin Scott Thomas in Fleabag was in 2019. I know that 2019 is a long long time ago. But even in 2022, the writers would have chosen not to put that in.

how can we have reached a stage where there's so much coverage about something that might not be an issue, that younger women are freaking out about it?

It's one thing to be aware of potential health problems but assuming one that's not inevitable is bizarre.

I've said it before on here and people get angry at the mere mention of things maybe being fine. I've spent half my life being treated for medical things. I know what happen but why would I ruin a state of happiness - which you @Fragmentedbrain seem to have - by assuming a future problem? It's bonkers.

@Fragmentedbrain still wonder if it's the internet - in which case, time to touch grass. Seriously. Chances are it's lovely where you are. I'm only typing this because it's 17 mins till my bus!

I've quoted the most common figure across hundreds of papers.

We're just talking about two different stats. Women with prolapse and women with symptomatic prolapse. Neither of us are wrong.

I have stage 3 endo - I can't WAIT for menopause.

I'm counting down the months.

I think it's good we hear more about menopause, and "treatments", so women know it's not something they have to put up with and resign themselves to suffer in silence. The same way as knowing that having a baby/ going through menopause means you get fat and will never have a flat stomach ever again- all bollocks.

What is less good is becoming obsessed about it when you suffer nothing!

I feel lucky to have hit peri before the social media bombardment if information about it (much of which is trying to scare us into buying some product or service or other)

My main peri symptom is migraines. Which are horrible. But I haven’t lost my critical faculties or collapsed into emotional freefall (so far 😬)

I think for a lot of women midlife is characterised by a horrific pincer movement of caring responsibilities in the generations above and below, when you’re also at the peak of your working life. This doesn’t affect most men in the same way.

Peri gets blamed for a lot of ‘symptoms’ that could just as easily be explained by stupidly unequal expectations of women, plus caregiving burnout once all the mothering hormones have left the building and you suddenly wake up to the realisation of how fucking done you are with thanklessly looking after everyone all the time and the fact you’re surrounded by jammy ungrateful little shits who are bleeding you dry.

There is some rage, yeah. 🤣

But if you don’t have kids that’s one stress / responsibility you don’t have to deal with.

You’ll probably be fine. Just a bit more tired and achey for a bit, with worse PMT for a few years.

I’m 49 and except for feeling like the world is ending two days before my period, I’m honestly fine. I’m not on HRT either.

I’m not acting like you’re stupid. You quoted a misleading figure which even your own source doesn’t support and you’ve quintupled down on it. I wouldn’t be getting so frustrated with you if you’d just acknowledged you were wrong.

Yeah, this. Why borrow trouble? Enjoy your youth and put good habits in place - nutrition, fitness etc. Work on becoming more chilled out.

Not sure why you're acting like I'm stupid here. Women should be checked for prolapse as a standard part of postpartum care and as they get older, even if they are not experiencing symptoms.

Early diagnosis of prolapse means you can get treatment faster and stop it from worsening and becoming symptomatic.

I’m 54 and have more energy and clarity than I had in my 40s. I did make some changes ( no alcohol, watch my food, regular exercise and prioritise sleep). With work I feel so much better .

@Fragmentedbraini retrained for a new professional
career and started a masters when I was older than you are now. Menopause has been harder for me than some of the stories here, but honestly I’d have started HRT earlier if I had realised I could. On HRT, it’s manageable enough for me to parent teenagers and run my own successful business.
I do get your anger. It’s so unfair that we have to go through it, but sadly no choice. My experience is that generally 1/3 of women sail through, 1/3 notice but it’s manageable, and 1/3 have a tough time. 🤞🏻for you you aren’t in the last group.

Dear God.

If you’re ‘so damn angry’ about something you say you don’t have yet then I I feel sorry for you.

Life is hard enough being angry about the things which do affect us without pre-empting things that might be pretty ok.

And who are you angry at?

HRT can be wonderful for many women.
Enjoy feeling at the top of your game and try not to spoil it by looking for problems.

Yes, I know. I've read my source. 50% of women will have a prolapse at some point, but that doesn't mean they're symptomatic.

I have an asymptomatic prolapse and I feel it's important to make people aware of how common it is. It greatly affects my mental health, but not my physical so far.

Well your going to reach that stage wether you like it or not.
Hopefully you'll be one of those who sales through it..loads of ladies do.
Stop wasting your time being angry

This is what your source says

Prevalence rates of POP have been reported at 1–65% globally [2]. There is a dearth of prevalence data for POP and most existing prevalence data is based on symptoms rather than physical examination [2]. When defined by symptoms, POP has a prevalence rate of 3–6%, and up to 50% when based upon vaginal examination [3].

Did you actually read the article? Up to 50% of women is the most common figure cited in articles from institutes all over the world. A quick Google would show you this.

It doesn't seem like you really read your own source either.

I have no idea. One of the known symptoms of menopause is what is sometimes called vaginal atrophy, sometimes called vaginal dryness, sometimes called genito-urinary syndrome of menopause. I have it - it started as itchiness, dryness, being very uncomfortable after/during sex, repeated UTIs, and a constant low level abdominal pain. All caused by lack of estrogen. The thing is though, it is incredibly easy to treat with creams or pessary which you use twice a week. My genito-urinary system is now fit and healthy and I have no issues.

It also doesn't mean I'm welded to my GP. Yes I needed an initial appointment to diagnose and yes she wanted to examine me. But that was almost 2 years ago and I just request the Estriol cream on repeat every 3 months.

The hot flushes were intolerable for me, but HRT sorted that. I didn't have brain fog or increased anxiety. In fact I think I got even more shit hot at my job during and post menopause (I'm retired now). I also stopped mostly caring about other people's opinions of me.

I agree, I was only late 30s when people started telling me my insomnia and being a hot sleeper were because of the menopause! Actually my insomnia was linked to a friend dying and having a newborn (and it turns out I can't sleep in any synthetic fibres) but it's the first thing people jump on!

I got pregnant again at 39 so think they were wrong 😛

Here you go.

https://www.rcog.org.uk/for-the-public/browse-our-patient-information/pelvic-organ-prolapse/

I anticipated it with dread, as you are doing, but when it happened I barely noticed it!

I think if you stay fit & healthy you maximise your chances of experiencing it with milder symptoms