To be furious about inevitable menopause

Ah, there’s been more? This doesn’t surprise me.

My dad was 99 when he died. He didn’t have a horrible time at the end. He was playing golf until six months before, socialising at his golf club. He had his last holiday when he was 98. I really think you need some counselling @Fragmentedbrain. This catastrophising isn’t healthy.

Don’t waste your time getting angry or worrying about it. My periods only started to get irregular at 52/53, and I had a period 4 months ago. No other symptoms, except perhaps slightly drier than normal feeling hands but that started during Covid with using hand sanitiser. I’ve got loads of energy, run my own business which needs focus, detailed plans and ideas and I’ve had no brain fog. I work out a lot, im strong and fit and am a healthy weight. I can lift significantly more weight training now than I could in my twenties. I haven’t piled on the pounds or grown a pot belly. I had a bone density test for dental treatment recently too and my dentist said she wished all her patients had my bone health as it made the implant I needed straight forward.

Thing is, I had a few months when I was about 45 and going through a difficult stressful time at work when I started to get depressed and anxious and I was fixated then on worrying about aging and the menopause.If I knew then how the next 10 years would actually go I wouldn’t have wasted my time worrying and being down about it.

My mum is 80, and still bizarrely enjoying life. Travelling, gardening, meeting friends and family. The deluded prolapsed fool!

You are free to be miserable for the next 40 years anticipating doom, or 'avoid the end'. It's your prerogative. But then why do you need this thread?

Many of us have a very good idea of what the future might hold, having cared for elderly relatives. But also I know that it varies tremendously, often depending on how much care you take of yourself. Now in my sixties I am having the time of my life. I'm happily married,I do weights at the gym, take courses, have lovely holidays, see my family regularly and have a great social life. My parents were the same and they lived to be ninety. I don't know anyone who's had a prolapse! Where did that come from?
Honestly you found as if you are over anxious and dwelling on things that might never happen. Growing old may obviously not "for the faint hearted" as my mother in law used to say, but there are a lot of wonderful things to come still.

This is exactly how the previous thread by OP ended, as I remember

Snide predictions of doom, vaginas disintegrating into dust and derision of older people, happy people and happy older people!

Most of us don’t want to live forever. That’s very different from I'm pleased about this. I don't understand people who enjoy being alive at all. The end is something to look forward to. The undignified slog until then less so.

And, as commenters are a wide variety of ages, for some of us old age isn’t ’the future’. It’s right now. And, much like being post-menopausal, it doesn’t ’suck hard’.

The sentiments you are expressing are extreme and irrational. It seems highly unlikely that you are ‘super well’.

No prolapse. No friends of mine have reported prolapse and we’re all post menopausal. I went through menopause at 53. Honestly my 50s were my best decade so far. I was confident, energetic, I achieved masses. You need to eat well, keep as fit as possible and try to stay positive. Try to stop worrying and enjoy what sounds like a really fruitful time for you.

I had no symptoms at all, my periods just gradually slowed and stopped. Same for mum and sister. My career continued as before. No point worrying about something that might never happen!

I was taking the pill on and off from the age of 17 to 49. Mini pill and combined pill. A few years with copper coil instead, when I developed endometriosis aged 39 and they also said I had PCOS.

I stopped taking the pill six months ago to see if my periods have stopped before thinking of what HRT to have. Six months no periods - fantastic. No menopausal symptoms whatsoever, no endometriosis or PCOS symptoms thank God. A few years ago on the mini pill I had low oestrogen symptoms.

At the age of 49 now my oestrogen levels must be through the floor but I have had nothing like that at all and just feel great. Yes, I do have some brain fog and forgetfulness but nothing any worse than I've had for the last couple of years. If it carries on like this I may not bother with any kind of HRT- subject to any bone density scans I may have in a few years' time.

I feel better than I have for 20 years- since before I had DDs.

Apart from a few hot flushes I had absolutely no other issues. Periods just dwindled off at around 42 and by 45 that was it.

If you are looking forward to death- then I think you need to seek help, because you won't be able to cope with menopause or anything else.
Being resentful about being alive is definitely a mental health red flag.

OP, you don’t sound very well. This, in combination with your other comments is rather worrying.

What’s going on in your life? Apart from your (initially amusing, now a bit strange) fury about basic biology, is everything else good?

The good thing about menopause being discussed everywhere is that women don't suffer in silence, and don't mistakenly believe there's nothing they can do about it.

It doesn't mean every woman will suffer from each negative aspect, or even from one problem at all.

Are you OK? No snark intended.

I wasn’t too bad, I took herbal supplements which must have helped. My friend took HRT from 40years ( she had a hysterectomy) and felt great but when she stopped at 60years she had terrible menopause symptoms.

There are so many people banging on about the menopause these days that it's no wonder you get the impression it's going to be hell. Well, like many on here, I didn't experience that. In fact, I wasn't that aware of it, just glad I didn't have periods anymore. I really wouldn't anticipate the worst.

Because if we were like men we’d have to take the whole package - no fucking way.

Seriously? I'm 53 and have never heard of anyone losing their professional standing or relationships over menopause. I know lots of women who changed their lives for the better. A few who have decided to take HRT and sing its praises. Maybe you need to talk to more older women. You are furious about something that is highly unlikely to happen.

Here’s another way to look at it. Your generation have the information, menopause workplace support and HRT. Those of us now in our mid 50’s had to do this alone. No support groups, no empathy. No awareness or allowances made. It ruined my career and much more. You are so much luckier! I wish I could do it all again with what we know now and what is available now.

You’re not observing the right women.