To be furious about inevitable menopause

I hope you sail through menopause too, but don't count on it- all my female relatives sailed through with a few hot flushes.
I, however, had serious insomnia combined with one period of depression followed by a second period (4 years worth) of clinical depression , I never had a hot flush.
I conclude that looking at your female relatives menopause is not necessarily helpful.

I was doing a phd, submitted and went into psychosis from anxiety.

What brought you to a menopause thread I wonder

Contraception pill or injection does not stop menopause symptoms
You will still get
Hot sweats
Crawling skin
Insomnia
Forgetful
Anger

But it will stop you getting pregnant

That’s not a reason though, is it? You can read through the thread for useful stuff without posting snide replies to the OP two months out of date.

Like pretty much all the major things in your life- what parents you were born to, what sort of education you had, who the main relationships in your life are etc etc it's a lottery. menopause alike all major life things is not created equal- it could be hellish, or it could be fine. As a rational person i thought my menopause would likely be bad, because my female relatives (mother , maternal grandmother) had lots of symptoms such as hot flushes, night sweats etc. My menopause was bad but it was anxiety depression, insomnia and brain fog that got me-not one hot flush-so you can't tell.

This could make me very unpopular but I think thst although it is necessary to speak about menopause and acknowledge some women have a dreadful time, the discourse has slipped too far the other way into assuming all women will be in the horrors! I had a hysterectomy and life has been wonderful. A few backaches and pains and a bit of weight gain , all of which can be dealt with through medicine or exercise is nothing to the years of hell of my reproductive years. Loving my 50s tbh. You could be the same !

Researching hrt

Any particular reason you are posting baity replies to a two month old thread?

I'm still entitled to be intellectually angry that my brain and professional standing and peaceful relationships will all be taken away from me for no reason.

goodness, one for hyperbole aren’t you?!

Op two days after this “furious” menopause thread, you post…

I was fine more or less except that I've had hormonal depression and anxiety for my entire adult life. Now in my forties I'm feeling the best I've felt emotionally since I was about 8 (in a good way, I was a chill 8 year old). While things could all go tits up I am not convinced everyone gets a bad menopause. I will get into hrt for osteoporosis prevention reasons in due course

so I’m confused. Are you “furious” or are you now pretty relaxed about it?

I am probably in the relatively early stages of it but I have found shutting off periods with a mirena and taking a small amount of oestrogel each day has worked wonders.(I will start to up it if symptoms re-emerge) Before that I was getting terrible anxiety and horrific periods, that were fortunately very short but regular and rage/crazy behaviour the day or two before the fun began and real exhaustion. It didn’t actually feel much at the time but I feel much more on an even keel and energetic. Like a man might feel (!) It’s made me realise that even my quite mild symptoms were actually quite debilitating. So my advice is to shut down the menstruation, and that makes a huge difference.
it is annoying we have to even deal with any if this but at least there are now some treatment options

It doesnt affect everyone the same way. Do t let fear of the future spoil the present.

I’m 58 and all my friendship group have had different experiences. I did spend a lot of my 40s being quite angry but there were reasons for that, the physical
symptoms didn’t start until I was in my 50s. HRT helps, but staying active and eating well also helps, as well as making time for self care (whatever that means for you). Menopause isn’t a thing to be dreaded, it’s just a part of life just as puberty, periods, childbirth etc are. I agree with @mynameiscalypsoI know lots of awesome women my age and older starts g businesses, travelling, having adventures …it’s not all bad!

I’m with you @RampantIvy, compared to a colleague and DSis I have had a relatively easy menopause.

OP don’t go looking for a bad menopause because you may be one of the luckier ones and have mild symptoms.

For me there’s the odd bit of brain fog but not necessarily any more than before menopause. Occasional hot flushes, (sometimes self inflicted if I overdo chocolate and sweet things), incredibly rare to have night sweats. A colleague had the most dreadful hot flushes and night sweats, we were all sympathetic rather than crowing about having a better time. Same team had a colleague who had a prolapse but rare amongst all the menopausal women I know. We all hold down stressful jobs and are still functioning well despite being ‘old’.

I get a bit rage-filled and sweary on the motorway when I get cut up by some eejit but not to the point that I’d do something stupid to enact petty revenge.

I've never felt better! I had awful mood swings and my hormones made me stupid when dating / in a relationship. I'm now much more balanced, clear headed and fiercely single.

Tell me about it! I was in TV, relatively senior but in production. All the men have sailed through and most are running their own companies/TV channels. To be fair some women are also but largely those without children or a great support network. I’m junior in a charity earning a few pounds above minimum wage. It was more complicated that just the menopause, but really escalated (lately diagnosed) ND added to the situation. That side of me was celebrated in my 30’s, seen as resilient, quirky etc. doesn’t quite work in my 50’s, Just assumed by many to be a mad middle aged woman!

I only talk about not having a terrible time if someone asks because I don't want someone who is suffering to think that I think they are making it up.

Not everyone can take hrt either though

I fully agree that I would want to live forever in an old decrepit body that I couldn't have a decent life. Hence why I have an advance directive to not get possible life saving treatment if it has a good chance of leaving me incapable etc. Same as I wouldn't be taking stuff like aggressive cancer treatment that could wreck me etc

However I can't say life is shit just because I'm past menopause

Not everyone gets menopausal symptoms - but those lucky individuals tend not to shout it out because many of their friends do suffer the negative symptoms to varying degrees from mild to awful. Why the anger about something you aren’t displaying any symptoms of and might be one of the lucky ones that doesn’t suffer symptoms or only very minor ones. Reframe your thinking - it isn’t an inevitability you will get symptoms.

As soon as I started the menopause I started on hrt. I had always planned this. I stayed on it for 15 years and then came off it with no trouble. Why suffer when you don't have to?

What on earth?! 😂

It's really nothing to be angry about get on HRT not everybody has terrible times .

This is the poster who started a thread about people being healthier when they smoked. So I wouldn't take their extreme opinions too seriously really. I think they like to just like to post bollocks for a reaction.

Again: The sentiments you are expressing are extreme and irrational. It seems highly unlikely that you are ‘super well’.