Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour dispute

34 replies

Namechangeforthis99 · 14/06/2025 17:04

As the thread title says really, I’ve name changed for this as well as outing.

So I’m currently in a full leg cast, thigh to toe type situation. I’ve been in casts for a few months and likely will stay in for another few months then boot and rehab etc.

I’m a single mum, hundred's of miles from family with limited help friend wise here.

Anyway the current problem is since I smashed my leg into what feels like a thousand smithereens, my front garden has become a bit weedy through the flags. It doesn’t look great a little shabby. My landlord has agreed to pop round and weed kill it/de-weed. But hasn’t given me a date just that he’s going to try and get round asap. He does kind of work on his own time.

My elderly neighbour is being quite unpleasant to me regarding this, every time I leave the house which as you can imagine takes an eternity. I can’t just scarper. He accosts me, telling me my garden is an eyesore and it is stopping him from selling his house. I agree that the garden doesn’t look great and reassure him the landlord is coming soon. As I just can’t manage it right now. To this he usually respond with some form of ‘can’t you sit on the floor’ or ‘surely you can pay someone with the money you’ve got’ to which I respond truthfully I don’t have any money right now I’m skint.

Background is his house has been for sale for four years, and didn’t sell when my garden looked perfect. Because it’s a smokers house and in dire need of around 20k worth of repairs. Needs a whole new roof and guttering, new kitchen and bathroom, damp course and repair to internal walls, all new floors etc. Feedback from viewers is that the house isn’t worth the price and is too much work to take on if they run the risk of not being able to rid it of the smoke smell.

His accosting of me have now, as of today spread to my children. He’s calling out to them ‘tell your lazy mother to sort her eyesore of a garden’ then loudly calls them ‘bunch of racist word’ they’re mixed race Chinese and Caucasian.

How should I handle this whilst keeping some dignity? I kind of want to be petty and leave the garden to grow wild. But also think I should just ignore to not further the issue.

OP posts:
JDM625 · 14/06/2025 17:16

I'm sorry to hear about your leg.

Is it in your rental agreement that YOU are responsible for the garden upkeep? If so, then surely its YOU that should be paying for someone to de-weed it? Why is your landlord involved at all in that? If he/she is contracted to maintain it, I'd be asking for a date.

I'd start a diary of incidences with the neighbour- date, time, what was said etc. I'd also start having my phone on record whenever in the front garden to start recording his racist behaviour and report to police.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 14/06/2025 17:14

Namechangeforthis99 · 14/06/2025 17:04

As the thread title says really, I’ve name changed for this as well as outing.

So I’m currently in a full leg cast, thigh to toe type situation. I’ve been in casts for a few months and likely will stay in for another few months then boot and rehab etc.

I’m a single mum, hundred's of miles from family with limited help friend wise here.

Anyway the current problem is since I smashed my leg into what feels like a thousand smithereens, my front garden has become a bit weedy through the flags. It doesn’t look great a little shabby. My landlord has agreed to pop round and weed kill it/de-weed. But hasn’t given me a date just that he’s going to try and get round asap. He does kind of work on his own time.

My elderly neighbour is being quite unpleasant to me regarding this, every time I leave the house which as you can imagine takes an eternity. I can’t just scarper. He accosts me, telling me my garden is an eyesore and it is stopping him from selling his house. I agree that the garden doesn’t look great and reassure him the landlord is coming soon. As I just can’t manage it right now. To this he usually respond with some form of ‘can’t you sit on the floor’ or ‘surely you can pay someone with the money you’ve got’ to which I respond truthfully I don’t have any money right now I’m skint.

Background is his house has been for sale for four years, and didn’t sell when my garden looked perfect. Because it’s a smokers house and in dire need of around 20k worth of repairs. Needs a whole new roof and guttering, new kitchen and bathroom, damp course and repair to internal walls, all new floors etc. Feedback from viewers is that the house isn’t worth the price and is too much work to take on if they run the risk of not being able to rid it of the smoke smell.

His accosting of me have now, as of today spread to my children. He’s calling out to them ‘tell your lazy mother to sort her eyesore of a garden’ then loudly calls them ‘bunch of racist word’ they’re mixed race Chinese and Caucasian.

How should I handle this whilst keeping some dignity? I kind of want to be petty and leave the garden to grow wild. But also think I should just ignore to not further the issue.

Eh… I’m not sure why you don’t want to be petty.

Next time he has a go just clap back with this

“Sure Mr Smith. You’re welcome to come over and weed any time you’d like. Otherwise you need to wait until my LL sorts it. As to this being the reason why your house won’t sell did the perspective buyers know 4 years ago that my weeds would grow? No I didn’t think so. Have a good rest of your day and if you talk to my kids again I’ll report you to the police for harassment which you will then have to disclose a neighbor dispute to your perspective buyers which will make your house harder to sell”

Best said somewhat loud in one run on sentence with no breaks as you are coming or going.

ETA: oops sorry didn’t mean to quote your OP.

theonlyonestillawake · 14/06/2025 17:14

Good luck to him selling his house when he has to declare a neighbourly dispute because you reported him to the police for racism

Shesellsseashellsnotinmystreet · 14/06/2025 17:11

Give him a whack with your crutch..
Only half joking....

TheresAGlitchInAParallelUniverse · 14/06/2025 17:11

Tell him if it bothers him that much he is welcome to come and sort it out himself.

Personally, if he’d insulted my DC like that, I’d tell him to fuck off and that he’d better hope he’d sold his house and moved far away by the time I was fully mended. 😡

actually, that’s too long to wait, I’d report him for racial abuse to the police instead.
Sorry you have to live next door to that op. Wishing you a speedy recovery Flowers

SquashedSquid · 14/06/2025 17:10

Report him for racism towards children and harassment.

Princessbananahamock · 14/06/2025 17:10

I would report the racist remarks to police and he is harassing you. What a nasty man.

Spirallingdownwards · 14/06/2025 17:09

Tell him if he harasses you further about the garden you will report him to the council for the harassment and racist comments for anti social behaviour and he will then have to formally declare a neighbour dispute that will put buyers off more than a neighbours garden. Also tell him he can see you are incapacitated, you don't have the money but are happy for him to instruct and pay for a gardener if he wants to provided you approve any work to be done. If you don't feel able to say this then put it in a letter and keep a copy.

corlan · 14/06/2025 17:09

I think if he was calling my kids rascist slurs, I would report him to the police.