Puppy dilemma - it’s not her, it’s us

Wow. You’re all a bit “meh” about the dog… what have I just read!
Send her to a loving home and never get another pet again.

Leaving everything else aside, you made a mistake, but you've cared for the puppy. It's not as though you've mistreated or neglected it. If it's not working out, I'd say you're definitely right to return the puppy and let it find a new home, the sooner the better.

Puppies can be a lot of work, and it's normal to momentarily regret the decision to take on the extra work of training and caring for a needle-toothed ball of fur. But this sounds like more than that, and if one of your children is allergic, that's an important consideration.

I don't think it's unreasonable to return the puppy to the breeder, but it would be unreasonable to try again without doing more research and prep-work to prevent this happening a second time.

I think you (as in you and your husband, not the kids) need to seriously think if you're willing to put in all the time and effort required for the next 10-15 years. That means training, regular walks whatever the weather, mental stimulation, play, grooming, health care etc. And it needs to be you as adults who are willing to do this, you can't rely on the kids and depending on their age they may move out anyway. You also need to change your life to make sure the dog isn't left alone too long and consider things like who will look after the dog if you go away. Things will get tougher as the pup hits adolescence, especially if you don't put in the time and effort now. If you, the adults, aren't willing and happy to do take on that responsibility, or indeed don't look forward to that, then return the pup to the breeder. It's better to do that sooner rather than later than let the situation drag out.

This.

Just don’t get angry if the breeder refuses to give you all of your money back. They suddenly will have an added responsibility don’t forget, until new owners are found and that will cost. Whether the breeder will recoup those costs from the new owners or from what you’ve paid, depends on the breeder.

Well I suppose you have realised quite quickly that you don't actually want a dog. Why on earth didn't you think about this before you got it, this poor puppy deserves so much better than you! Take it back to the breeder and give it a chance at having a good, loving home. Please never get a puppy again.

Oh OP, I think you should return to breeder ASAP and be grateful they will take your puppy back. I have a 15 week old puppy who is the light of my life and has been for the 7 weeks we've had him. We would never have got a dog for the kids because they are notoriously fickle. The dog is for us all (especially me) and that's the way it has to be IMO. Lesson learned - you are not dog people.

Hopefully contact the breeder

What. Are. You. Going. To. Do???

@neverwakeasleepingpuppy I got “puppy blues” when I brought home my first puppy. I was a mess for 2 weeks, felt so sad and anxious even though I love dogs and have had them all of my life.

I got over that quickly but it was really scary and worrying at the time.

However, it does sound like you aren’t really a dog lover and that you don’t love your puppy.

My dogs are part of my family and the love I have for them is on par with the love I have for my human child. If you aren’t feeling this kind of love then having a dog really isn't for you and it’s unfair on the pup. I would send her back whilst she’s little and before she gets too attached, to give her the best chance in life to be loved like she deserves

I have had dogs all my life and I have never adored any of them from the first moment. It has taken a few months for that to kick in. Mainly the first weeks are stressful and overwhelming and full of "what on earth have I done??". Saying that, it is hard to really know what dog-ownership is like before you have done it, and if you find now that you have made a mistake, then it is best to let the puppy move to a new home asap. I would sleep on it and contact the breeder tomorrow if you decide it is the best thing for you all.

You spelt, "Responsible Dog Owners" wrong.

It’s pretty weird to get a dog without first knowing if you a) have allergies and b) are actually keen to have a dog.

Don't worry about it. There are a lot of Frothing Dog People on Mumsnet who equate indifference to any dog with being a Bad Person. Yes, even if you don't have a dog.

Yet another poor, innocent puppy cast away by irresponsible people. Awful behaviour.

everyone says they’re great, unconditional love blah blah.

You’ve been lied to there, OP! Having a puppy was the most stressful few months of my entire life. Dogs are also a lot of hard work; the daily walks, keeping them well exercised and socialised, can they come on holiday with you, do you have reliable ‘dog care’ for the times you aren’t around, can’t be left alone too long and especially overnight, etc etc. They’re a massive upheaval in anyone’s life and even though my boy is now 10 and a real elderly dog I still find him hard work. The walks in the pouring rain, snow, ice etc. The stress at NYE and Nov 5 as he is an utter wreck around fireworks.

BUT - we adore him. Will we get another after him, no. But we love him to bits. If you’re not enamoured with this pup the kind thing to do is give him to a family who will be.

I'm interested in how old the kids are and what breed of dog. I don't accept puppy blues are real . I loved my puppies at 2 weeks, with their eyes not open, chose them then. They are hard work,so are kids.i got ripped to shreds on here last year, for saying exactly what its like having a puppy.

I’m glad that your OCD has improved. It won’t be a quick process though and, as you probably know, will likely get much worse with exposure before it gets better. I hope you are getting some proper support with it, not just your GP?

The bottom line is that this beautiful puppy deserves to be 100% adored

If you love your cat you’re probably going to fall madly in love with her at some point

but if you don’t think you will then do give her back

I love my dogs so much even reading this post about a puppy who isn’t loved as much as she needs to be is making me properly well up 😂

I adored my dog from the first moment I saw her photo.

I could hardly sleep in the days before the adoption was finalised as I was worried we'd somehow fail the rescue's requirements and she wouldn't be able to come to us. There was no warming up period - I just loved her from the moment she arrived.

After a lifetime of love and enjoying every single aspect of caring for her she died of old age and I miss her still a year later.

Please take this puppy back and let someone else adore her. If you're not keen now then as the winter kicks in and walks get less fun you're going to find her a real chore.

@neverwakeasleepingpuppy

What breed is she?

People tend to fall for how sweet and gorgeous they are when they first meet them but as you spend more time with them you bond and get to know their quirks and just love them on a deeper level. I've had my current dog six years and he is very loving, somewhat needy, thinks he is an absolute joker (actually some of his "jokes" are pretty humourous for a canine), excitable and can be very very well behaved and equally as naughty. I think he is the handsomest there is and am proud to walk him out & about and receive compliments on him. Keeping him groomed, trained, walked, clean and keeping all his bedding/leads and toys in order gives me joy.

Take her back to the breeder tomorrow and give her the chance of a home who love her very, very much.