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Original poster

Puppy dilemma - it’s not her, it’s us

332 replies

neverwakeasleepingpuppy · 14/06/2025 15:45

Brought home a gorgeous 2 month puppy two weeks ago; the kids wanted one for years, DP and I are mildly pro-dog, thought it’d be great for us as a family, everyone says they’re great, unconditional love blah blah.

Being fair, she’s a perfect puppy so far - quickly getting the crate and toilet training and is now sleeping through from 11-7am, minimal accidents in the house. Hard work but manageable.

We are the problem - despite her gorgeousness, we are all a little meh. DD2 seems to be allergic; puffy eyes and sneezing. The kids have zero interest - spent maybe 30mins with her since she landed. DP and I are enjoying her somewhat but also my OCD is going through the roof, googling amputees from dog licks etc.

Am interested to hear others views on this as I think it’s a case of it’s not her, it’s us …. the breeder is fine to take her back as she has a waiting list for an adorable puppy who is mostly trained! Just wondering if it’s fairer all around to do this?

OP posts:
tropicalteas · 14/06/2025 16:10

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 14/06/2025 16:00

That's the kind of thing you research before bringing a live baby animal into your home, no?

Show quote history

It’s actually quite difficult some will react to some cats/dogs and not others or they think they are ok and it’s only when they have a pet in their home 24/7 they react

StretchyPants1988 · 14/06/2025 16:10

Doesn't everyone know kids ALWAYS lose interest in caring for a new pet about 2 minutes after they got it?

You get a dog if YOU want one. Kids promising to walk the dog, feed it etc is totally irrelevant, even the best behaved kids don't have the long term vision to come through with those types of promises.

And if one is allergic, well, you have no choice.

Twokittywakeupcall · 14/06/2025 16:10

Take her back. Poor thing. I hope you feel suitably ashamed of yourselves!

She may be easy now but just give it another 4 to 8 months and she could be really hard work during the "teen phase". You need to be 100% engaged with her to get through that time and you aren't.

Threecraws · 14/06/2025 16:10

It's definitely a you problem. Yes give her back to the breeder so she can go to a good home.

MyHouseInThePrairie · 14/06/2025 16:09

Send the dog back to the owner.
It sounds like you’ve looked after the puppy well. But it’s creating health issues both for you (OCD) and your dc(allergies).

Now you know.
Sending the dig back will give that dig the chance of being with owners better suited to her.
Dint hesitate. Fir your and the dog’s sake

Katheclepto · 14/06/2025 16:08

Jesus give her back! You’re in a very lucky situation and sound very dramatic!

Alltheyellowbirds · 14/06/2025 16:06

Researching amputees from dog licks???? I don’t think you sound like an animal person. You’re doing the right thing giving him back to the breeder, but please do so quickly. The longer you leave it the more traumatic the move will be for the puppy, and the harder it will be for the breeder to find it a new home.

FluffykinsTheFerociousFeralFelineFury · 14/06/2025 16:04

The puppy is harder work than you had anticipated and you are not enjoying dog ownership as much as you had hoped. You made an error of judgment, that's all. Let the puppy go back to the breeder and do not beat yourself up about it.

Hoooray · 14/06/2025 16:02

It's absolutely insane that you bought a dog when you have that level of anxiety about dog licks. It was also nuts that you thought your kids would have sustained interest in caring for the dog - dogs should only ever be brought into the family when the adults really want them, not for the benefit to kids.

At this point it would be a trauma for her for you to return her as she has bonded to you, but I still think you should do it because the trauma will only be worse the longer you leave it. I don't think you should ever get a pet again.

Onelovelyone · 14/06/2025 16:01

This is so mind numbingly thoughtless. Being “mildly keen” is insufficient and the puppy deserves better. Return the poor puppy to the breeder so it has the chance of a loving home.

WobblyBoots · 14/06/2025 16:00

Yes, it's fairer all round to give her back. A puppy is an enormous commitment and you have to be 100% onboard. They shouldn't be something you're enjoying 'somewhat'.

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 14/06/2025 16:00

tropicalteas · 14/06/2025 15:57

Ffs it’s not that they aren’t a decent family ! One has allergies and it hasn’t worked out. They are very responsible for reconsidering the situation so quickly and speaking to
the breeder.

Show quote history

That's the kind of thing you research before bringing a live baby animal into your home, no?

tootsierubs · 14/06/2025 15:59

Can’t actually believe what I am reading! Give the puppy back so it can go to a home where it is loved and wanted and as others have said, no more animals.

Beetletweetle · 14/06/2025 15:59

tropicalteas · 14/06/2025 15:57

Ffs it’s not that they aren’t a decent family ! One has allergies and it hasn’t worked out. They are very responsible for reconsidering the situation so quickly and speaking to
the breeder.

Show quote history

I'm not saying they're not decent, I'm saying send it back now before she ends up in a rescue center for years because she's not a puppy anymore.

saveforthat · 14/06/2025 15:59

God, I wish I hadn't read this. I lost my beloved dog a few weeks ago. I wish I could come and take her from you. Who can feel meh about a puppy?

Genevieva · 14/06/2025 15:59

It’s better to realise this now than next year. Please return her.

Jojimoji · 14/06/2025 15:58

Give that dog right back to the breeder.
It deserves much better than you are willing to offer it.

tropicalteas · 14/06/2025 15:57

Beetletweetle · 14/06/2025 15:47

Send her back as soon as possible so she can go to a decent family and never get another animal again.

Ffs it’s not that they aren’t a decent family ! One has allergies and it hasn’t worked out. They are very responsible for reconsidering the situation so quickly and speaking to
the breeder.

Vaxtable · 14/06/2025 15:57

First post nails it

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 14/06/2025 15:56

You were incredibly selfish to get her in the first place.

Please return her to the breeder and never get another pet.

elessar · 14/06/2025 15:56

Duplicate post.

elessar · 14/06/2025 15:56

You’re being unreasonable to have gone into this with so little consideration.

Had your children never been around dogs before to see if they had allergies?

please return the dog to the breeder so it can be rehomed to someone who actually wants a dog - and I agree with others, don’t get another pet.

madamegazelle1 · 14/06/2025 15:56

Mildly keen?! Give the poor dog back to the breeder and allow her to go to someone who will love her as part of the family

Lifeisinteresting · 14/06/2025 15:55

@neverwakeasleepingpuppy posts like this are irritating. A puppy/dog is a commitment and not something that should be gone into lightly. Sometimes though as well it takes longer to bond with the dog. We got our 2nd dog at he was 10 weeks, he wasn't an easy puppy compared to our older dog when she was a pup, and was a lot of work (still his), but I'd never in a million years thought about returning him to the breeder because we were all a bit meh. He's 2 now and the centre of home.

ScottBakula · 14/06/2025 15:55

Why on earth did you get a dog when you are only mildly interested in them !
Send the poor thing back and hope that it gets a good home.
You'd be better of buying a pet rock next time

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