If you have financial help from your parents...

Also, not sure what your relationship status is, but please protect yourself financially and don’t advertise you have no mortgage as I expect you’ll get a cocklodger or two!

Why would you ever mention your mortgage? I can honestly say I have never mentioned my mortgage to any casual acquaintance or indeed any but one close friend. Why would you mention it?

For it depends who I'm talking to. My nosy auntie it's none of her business. My best friend everything as she does me. Co workers just the usual line mum helped is enough.

I have a few friends who have been bought houses. We all know - it’s obvious😊. But it’s none of our business.

it’s the same as the teenagers who were bought new cars when we were at school. A few friends were even bought houses to live in at university. My parents didn’t have this kind of money - but that’s life. I am happy for my friends and they have been equally happy for my stuff.

I think it's better to say that you are in the fortunate position that your parents have given you financial help, then that you try to pretend that you've done it by not eating avocado toast for 20 years.

I know one couple who had an expensive house bought with them by parents, who were not open about it, and managed to alienate a lot of their friends by giving the impression that their friends had obviously done something wrong to not live in such a house themselves.

friends don’t ask things like that.

of course friends do, younger generations aren't so secretive & plenty grow up in cultures where discussing money isn't forbidden or rude.

It’s no one else’s business, friends don’t ask things like that.

I don’t tell anyone- not even my own mother, my financial situation( even though she asks!)

I hate people asking about finances and how you afford stuff. We have a friend who does this a lot- but we never give a straight answer, or we say in a joking way “you don’t want to know”

my best friend has asked in the past about how much my husband earns and I just casually say I don’t exactly know( which is the truth) and it varies due to overtime.

Nothing wrong in saying your folks have helped you out a bit, say you’re paying them back if it makes you feel better, but really it is no one’s business. I might wonder myself sometimes how people afford stuff , but would never dream of asking.

Do you friends, colleagues and acquaintances genuinely interrogate you OP?

If you're worried about it, I would say it's rare (in the UK anyway) that people ask a question, get a vague answer, refuse to leave it there and continue down their line of enquiry until they extract some hidden truth. Especially about someone's private affairs. You probably don't need to worry!

And if they do, the solution is very simple - just don't tell them anything you don't want to tell them.

"Yes I know I'm fortunate. Right place right time I guess! "

No mention of help, no mention of mortgage-free, no mention of anything other than gratitude. End of.

You can follow up with "Look I'm really not comfortably being grilled on my financial situation, I'm sure you understand" should shut anything down.

And if THAT doesn't, then you just get your coat!!

If anyone asks me, I just answer it was due to a family inheritance via a death in the family. This usually shuts them up.

People absolutely do.

OP says that she and her colleagues/friends all work close to min wage jobs. They'll know that she's unlikely to have saved a deposit/secured a mortgage on her own.

Very nosey, but I'd hardly be surprised if someone asked her "How've you managed that?"

OP - Just tell the truth: You've had some help. Anyone who wants to gossip about it will gossip regardless of how much you tell them.

My parent s lent us the money to buy ours and we did pay them back with interest but over COVID I lost my job and they said to stop paying them back and they wrote off the rest... I didn't tell anyone except my husband. We were very lucky and I felt it would be horrible to my friends who are struggling to mention it. If it ever comes up I just say the first bit, paying back with interest and not the second.

i actually don't know anyone who has bought without some form of help.

The vast majority of people who have had help is due to the inflated housing market that benefited some previous generations. I actually think it's weird to not acknowledge your privilege around friends.

I’m surprised at the people suggesting the OP lie or be so vague as to suggest she may have paid for the house herself. OP has said she is in low paid work - it will be incredibly obvious that she’s not being truthful. It’s better to just say you don’t like discussing finances and/or change the subject. It really is no one else’s business.

I was in a similar situation and didn't tell anyone the financial details.

I'd be honest because nobody who knows me would ever believe I could suddenly start swanning about buying property. I guess I know that wouldn't happen, but I will (assuming I'm alive) inherit property ( family home) and would be very open about that.

I certainly didn't work hard enough to buy property. My dad did, and he died when I was a child. But at least he provided me and my mum with a house/home.

So I'm very lucky. I wouldn't hide my privilege. Any decent friend would appreciate your honestly.

I think this TED talk is a great way to understand how conditioned we are to answer questions we don't really want to answer. Personally it is none of their business how or why you can afford the house you are getting. You do not own anyone any explanation.

My mate was a sahm with a husband in a minimum wage job, her house was huge. Know how she got it? Her parents were killed in a car accident and she was the sole beneficiary of their will. She was 19 and away at uni. She moved in with her Mum's brother and his wife who were incredible. Anyone rude enough to ask her how she could afford the house she had is met with that answer and boy do they squirm.

This TED talk may help you learn to deflect any questions you don't want to answer.

OP shouldn't have to lie just to stop you being jealous.

I don't volunteer the information but if someone asks me whether my house is mortgaged I'm not going to lie.

My parents paid our deposit for our first house and I can honestly say I dont think the question ever came up

Some people have more privilege than others. It’s just a fact of life. There’s nothing to be ashamed of! And I say that as someone who’s parents could not afford to give me any help but that doesn’t diminish them as parents.

You don't need to tell people anything you don't want to.

Equally, I see no reason not to be honest with very close friends if you want to.

We know 1 set of friends who are mortgage free due to an inheritance, 1 set who basically get free holidays from her parents every year + kids activities paid for and 1 set who have a very low mortgage due to a parental gift.

I can honestly say we are genuinely just pleased for them that they and their kids can have a better quality of life than they would be able to afford on their own.

Genuine friends will just be happy for you. But don't feel forced into revealing information you aren't comfortable with.

I really wouldn't tell anyone you're mortgage free. I'm not the jealous type but this makes me green with envy when I hear it!

Like mate, you're a part time yoga teacher who has spent the last 3 years travelling, I know you didn't buy this £600k house yourself.

And that's why it's pointless to lie 😆

I think this.