If you have financial help from your parents...

Kindly, you need to get over yourself a bit.

We're about to complete on a very large house. No one, in either if our lives, has asked where the money to buy it came from.

This just sounds like you want people to ask, so you can feel special by acting oh so humble and oh so lucky

Going against the grain here but people have asked us. Not in a rude way but people want advice on what to do, and I guess we seem approachable. A simple “We had help” is more than enough for anyone whoever asked.

Ha, agreed.

I genuinely don't know anyone who would ask such personal questions? An initial "well done!" or whatever, in which case I'd say "ah thanks, a bit of help from the parents, I've been very lucky" or similar because I wouldn't want to be 'claiming the credit ' for something I hadn't achieved.

Does anyone actually ask about mortgage status etc? I can only imagine someone saying something along the lines of "you're in for a shock, mortgages have been going sky high" or whatever, in which case I'd just be non specific like "ah yeah I know, I'm keeping eye".

No-one needs to know details.

My parents have helped me out a lot since my brother died and they've developed a "can't take it with you" attitude. My closest friends know the details but would never express jealousy because they know what's behind it. Other people/acquaintances etc definitely wonder how I can afford to live where I do. I have a reasonably good job, although public sector so not big bucks, and I'm a single parent so if they tried to do the maths it definitely wouldn't work out. But no one has ever asked, it's unbelievably rude to question someone on their finances. If anyone other than my absolute closest friends asked me about my mortgage I'd think they'd lost the plot.

You're right to be concerned, peoples are jealous busstards and will resent your good fortune. If you tell the truth it will weed the nasty ones out.
I'd probably tell a few white lies and say you bought it with a small deposit, it's nobody's business frankly. After a while people won't care anyway.
I remember telling a circle of close friends me and my partner had bought a flat (20+ years ago) and you can literally see peoples face drop, it was so sad and pathetic to witness, wasn't even bragging.

I can see people would be commenting.

i wouldn’t tell them you’re mortgage free.
If they ask about the price, I’d give it to them (it’s very easy to know anyway)
If they ask how, I’d say something like ‘I’m lucky my parents helped’. Most people will think it’s help for a deposit, Not the whole lot.
If anyone asks how much, tell them to f* off. Or look at them really shocked and ignore the question.

Honestly, it’s weird if people ask how you bought your house. We have a nicer house than most people expect for someone our age and for what people think we do for jobs. I have definitely gotten quite a few “so you rent this?” or people think Dh is the gardener or it’s our parents house. 😂

We did have a bit of inheritance that went towards the deposit, but the reality is that Dh worked really bloody hard for 10+ years while I was largely part time with small children and we saved up a £200k deposit, while renting and paying full childcare costs, plus we now have a high household income. I’m in education and Dh is self employed in a trade. We don’t look like we own a £1 million house, but we do, and our parents didn’t buy it for us.

I have never had anyone ask us how we bought it. I know plenty of friends who bought houses in their 20s, 10 years before we could have afforded to buy (we bought our first house when I was 40), and I assume they must have had family help, but I definitely never would have asked. It’s very rude. If anyone does ask, I’d just say, I’m very fortunate my family could help me to buy it. Or I’d make a joke of it, and say, isn’t that a bit of a personal question?! With a little laugh. 😂

I think what the issue is, is when people have money from their parents to buy their house but they play it off as if it was all down to hard work. I’ve seen so many people have the deposit paid for by parents for their first home and they play into the congratulatory comments as if they did it all by themselves and gloat. Then they act like anyone who don’t own their home is beneath them.

If anyone asks tap your nose knowingly and wink.

Everyone knows it’s gifted or inherited wealth. Why not just be honest/transparent and say so. Just matter of fact. It is that or lottery win as everyone knows houses are really expensive and that wages are rubbish - so everyone knows anyhow.

I have never once been asked any of those questions nor have I ever felt the need to ask people. It’s not anyone’s business how you got the money to buy your house.

Just own it. Don't show off but just honestly say ' we are very lucky as my parents bought us this house'.

I have. A friend whose dad gave her about £600k. But she doesn't realise how much of an advantage it's given her. She has a house and a rental flat (bought out right) that gives her an income and has no mortgage. She just says stupid stuff like ' you couldn't this too'... like
How? Rob a bank? Don't be that person

You don't tell them, and you block any rude questions from people who question your finances - tbh, I don't know anyone who would ask that kind of question.

@nebulae well obviously it's not about me -it's that the OP may not want her friends having those feelings of jealousy towards her (wrong though they may well be). I don't think she should lie if asked directly, though I'd be surprised if anyone would be that direct. She could answer honestly or sidestep the question. Financial information is quite personal so that would be fine imho.

I’d just say something vague about getting some help from your parents and leave it at that. It’s really not unusual.

If I was your friend I wouldn’t ask or press you about it if you didn’t offer any info. I would totally speculate where the hell you’d got the money from with DH though!

We know a lot of mortgage free people due to parental help. It really isn't that big a deal. We live in London and it most have had help to get on housing ladder. Ultimately also no one else's business re your finances.

If the house is dramatically and obviously beyond your means, I would prepare a stock statement about being extremely lucky to have had help from your parents. Keep it vague and do not discuss exact amounts or your lack of mortgage.

This. I could understand maybe feeling the need to deal with friends, but why on Earth does the OP need to tell people who she works with. They don't need to know.

I bought a house last August and nobody has asked me how I financed it at all.

Even if they do ask, people will only bother asking when you actually first purchase it and likely won’t actually ask you the value of your mortgage or detailed questions because most people understand that it’s vulgar to ask people about their finances (the same way nobody would ask you your salary etc). So just say you “borrowed money” to buy it if you don’t want to mention that the money came from your parents vs the bank and that will likely satisfy their curiosity and they can make whatever assumptions they like.

After a couple of months people won’t ask you about your “new” house because it’ll be old news.

I can’t imagine people actually asking “did you get a mortgage?”.

On mumsnet people are very quiet about money, personally that’s not me nor my circle. As friends we are all very open about how much we paid for houses, extensions, weddings etc and how much or not parents contributed. It’s just not a touchy subject for us.

Don't worry about it OP. Most of the people you are worrying now about will be utterly transient in your life. In 5 years time, or even less, they will be faint memories. You, on the other hand, will be set for life. These people aren't going to help you or care about you, so stop wasting your head space on them. Seize the moment and thank your lucky stars and if it really troubles you (which it clearly does) then just tell them a white lie. You won't burn in hell for it.

Very nosey friends!
Ive had a lot of friends but properties over the last couple of years and I haven’t asked a single one how they managed to afford it…it just seems so rude! Some of them may have volunteered info and outright said their parents gave them some money, or others may have had a grandparent die and suddenly six months later they’ve bought a house so you can maybe assume they got some inheritance.
My boyfriend and I are currently in the process of buying, and not ONE person has asked how we’ve managed to afford it.

I was thinking that. I’ve never ever asked anyone about their financial situation nor has anyone ever asked me. I assume some people had family help and other haven’t. For instance, my best friend is an only child so when she got her property her parents could help her but my other friend has 3 siblings so it’s been much harder. I never asked though just was excited when they got their property.