Holiday offer revoked

You very much need to reset your expectations. You’re separated and that means the end of your relationship with your husband - and his family.

your children are only in his life due to your relationship with him. He’s not adopts them. Please precise your children for the separate life. You cannot and should not be expecting things otherwise to be the same.

we are talking about relationships and support, financial and emotional, will cease for you and your children.

please recognise this holiday situation as the first of many such separations. To not do this is irresponsible towards your children.

When you meet a new man and you want to go to the US with your kids, are you expecting them to accommodate him too?

You've had a fair bite of the cherry OP. Expectation such as yours is pretty well into CF territory.

Excuse me, but your kids have no connection to your DH family, they are from your first DH. Why would you expect the family of DH number 2 to host them as you go through a divorce.

It doesn’t sound like he is discarding your children if he is still involved and seeing them on an adhoc basis.

However the fact that you used the term ‘adhoc’ instead of ‘regular’ to describe their contact, now you are no longer a family unit, makes it sound like things are already changing in terms of the level of his involvement in their lives.

If that is the case, I think you might be unreasonable to expect other things, such as family holiday arrangements, wouldn’t change too.

Either way, although they are not his biological children, it sounds like you really need to discuss future arrangements properly and in advance to avoid any nasty surprises, especially for your children’s sake.

Very odd that you’d think it would be going ahead as usual-you’re getting divorced and it’s his family?
Do you expect to share a holiday home with your ex or that he would be uninvited.
It’s the nature of divorce, you separate and his family will be most supportive of him.
If you shared kids there may be some reason to think that the kids would still be invited, and a discussion about whether you’d be included but unfortunately you and your kids are no longer part of your soon to be exs family.

No it’s not shitty behaviour?

They’re his family; not yours and have no relation to you or your children.

If you had children then your husband would probably take that child to the US to visit his family, not you or your children.

I don’t know why you would have expected to still go 🤣🤦🏻‍♀️

Not sure what's funny about asking people to be a bit more mindful and not go too far in their comments, but as you were!

You can’t really expect things not to change especially with holidays you need to do your own thing. Once he meets someone she will become like family it’s best to cut the ties now. Especially if it’s civil.

😆😆

Surely this got to be a to be a wind up no one can be
cheeky. It’s not his kids and you’re not his wife anymore so why on gods green earth would think is would be ok to still holiday with him or his family!!

Jesus 😆😆😆

Why are pp’s being rude/ critical of OP for getting divorced??
No one has any knowledge/ insight into the context.
This thread is mad.

Come on please, some of you.

The OP is in the wrong, but there's no need for some of these comments.

What happens if and when he gets a new partner? Would you still expect to go?

You are being unreasonable. The kids have to suffer because you're divorcing. His kids or not. I hope you're happy.

😂 No, this is completely normal and you’re a CF…! Shame for the kids though.

They can still remain in contact (cards, WhatsApp messages etc) but surely you can’t of expected to still go on a family holiday with people who are no longer family. What if your ex wanted to take someone else (maybe not this year but next or in the future).

It's a shame the offer was withdrawn @Singineletricdreams but things have changed now and it was an offer previously, not a right

I don't think anyone reasonable would expect a free holiday from ex-in laws.
You marry into another family, becoming real friends with your in laws does happen, but it's pretty rare. Usually in laws put up with you because of their child being married to you- surely you realise that?

I would have thought it would have been obvious you'd no longer be welcome after splitting up from your DH.

Which is all fair enough if the question was AIBU to expect soon to be exDHs parents to still send a birthday card to My DC. But the question is AIBU to expect DHs extended family who live on a different continent to host at some expense to themselves myself and my DC for a month every year even after I have divorced him? Which is entirely different.

You'd be surprised how many do think that way!

How long were unravelled both together? Did he have a good relationship with ur kids and will he still see them?
If not, its shit all round

I think that’s actually normal sorry.
how long were you together for? Did you DH husband adopt your children or anything? Then I would understand the children being invited but not you.

Pmsl you're nuts