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Original poster

DP being horrible towards my DCat

259 replies

Yasmin98 · 14/06/2025 09:12

DP and I don’t live with each other but he stays over a couple nights a week.

Recently, he has been making increasingly rude comments about my DCat and when I challenge him he just says ‘she’s a cat, she doesn’t have feelings’.

He really isn’t a pet person which is fine but I would expect him to treat mine with respect.

Has anyone had a similar situation and found a solution? I am reluctant to move him in full time unless his attitude changes.

OP posts:
TreesToday · 14/06/2025 09:45

Oh that’s horrible! I didn’t expect he had threatened the cat with violence. Definitely I could not be with someone like that.

Bonjovispyjamas · 14/06/2025 09:44

Yasmin98 · 14/06/2025 09:40

It is things like, if DCat gets in my way again I’m going to kick her like a football.

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And you're still planning to stay with this arsehole? Why?

purpleme12 · 14/06/2025 09:44

There is no way I'd be able to stay with someone like that
Disgusting

Nanny0gg · 14/06/2025 09:44

Yasmin98 · 14/06/2025 09:40

It is things like, if DCat gets in my way again I’m going to kick her like a football.

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Why are you with him?

Even saying that is vile and I wouldn't trust him not to hurt the cat when you're not looking
You could never trust him

Blodyneighbour · 14/06/2025 09:43

Yasmin98 · 14/06/2025 09:40

It is things like, if DCat gets in my way again I’m going to kick her like a football.

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Oh my God!
Get rid!
That would actually put me right off of him.
What a weasily little coward.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 14/06/2025 09:43

It is things like, if DCat gets in my way again I’m going to kick her like a football.

Don't bother with an ultimatum. Just end the relationship. You'd never be able to trust him alone with the cat.

raspberrieswithchocolate · 14/06/2025 09:43

Yasmin98 · 14/06/2025 09:40

It is things like, if DCat gets in my way again I’m going to kick her like a football.

Show quote history

In your shoes, I'd be ending the relationship asap.

Slatterndisgrace · 14/06/2025 09:42

He doesn’t sound like a particularly nice person OP.

Slatterndisgrace · 14/06/2025 09:41

FlightCommanderPRJohnson · 14/06/2025 09:40

It depends to some extent on the cat, but look out for the tail twitching/swishing as that's usually a sign the cat is reaching its tolerance limit. Ears back is another sign of a pissed off cat.

Generally if they have had enough of being petted they will just jump up and go somewhere else, though. It's if you are restraining them, say to give a pill or flea treatment, that they are likely to lash out because obviously they don't understand 'it's for their own good'!

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Thanks!

FlightCommanderPRJohnson · 14/06/2025 09:41

Yasmin98 · 14/06/2025 09:40

It is things like, if DCat gets in my way again I’m going to kick her like a football.

Show quote history

Bloody hell. He'd be out the door before he could blink if he said that in my house.

Renamed · 14/06/2025 09:40

Whiny, needy, resentful behaviour.

FlightCommanderPRJohnson · 14/06/2025 09:40

Slatterndisgrace · 14/06/2025 09:29

What are the cues? This stuff fascinates me.

Show quote history

It depends to some extent on the cat, but look out for the tail twitching/swishing as that's usually a sign the cat is reaching its tolerance limit. Ears back is another sign of a pissed off cat.

Generally if they have had enough of being petted they will just jump up and go somewhere else, though. It's if you are restraining them, say to give a pill or flea treatment, that they are likely to lash out because obviously they don't understand 'it's for their own good'!

Original poster
Yasmin98 · 14/06/2025 09:40

TroysMammy · 14/06/2025 09:36

I sometimes say to my cat that he is fat. He is because my partner gives him treats like fresh tuna and chicken and my partner says I shouldn't tell him he's fat. Am I cruel and do I hurt the cat's feelings? I doubt it otherwise he wouldn't come to me for (ample) belly rubs (the cat not my partner)

Hopefully he's not mistreating the cat but if it's threats like "I'm going to kick that cat if it does that again" and not joking things like I would say "you are so fluffy you'd make a nice pair of slippers" then I'd dump him.

It is things like, if DCat gets in my way again I’m going to kick her like a football.

OP posts:
Slatterndisgrace · 14/06/2025 09:39

ComtesseDeSpair · 14/06/2025 09:39

What do you mean by “rude comments”? I say mean things in jest to animals (“hello, stinky, you smell like garbage”, “oh no, the food’s run out, that means we have to give you away”), because they can’t understand and don’t have feelings about it, and it’s part of the joy of being around animals.

Cruel.

ComtesseDeSpair · 14/06/2025 09:39

What do you mean by “rude comments”? I say mean things in jest to animals (“hello, stinky, you smell like garbage”, “oh no, the food’s run out, that means we have to give you away”), because they can’t understand and don’t have feelings about it, and it’s part of the joy of being around animals.

Slatterndisgrace · 14/06/2025 09:38

TroysMammy · 14/06/2025 09:36

I sometimes say to my cat that he is fat. He is because my partner gives him treats like fresh tuna and chicken and my partner says I shouldn't tell him he's fat. Am I cruel and do I hurt the cat's feelings? I doubt it otherwise he wouldn't come to me for (ample) belly rubs (the cat not my partner)

Hopefully he's not mistreating the cat but if it's threats like "I'm going to kick that cat if it does that again" and not joking things like I would say "you are so fluffy you'd make a nice pair of slippers" then I'd dump him.

Cat will be fine, unless you shout it in its face with a mean look.

ShiningStar3 · 14/06/2025 09:37

I'd break up over something like this. It would make me worry how he might treat the cat when I'm not around.

TroysMammy · 14/06/2025 09:36

I sometimes say to my cat that he is fat. He is because my partner gives him treats like fresh tuna and chicken and my partner says I shouldn't tell him he's fat. Am I cruel and do I hurt the cat's feelings? I doubt it otherwise he wouldn't come to me for (ample) belly rubs (the cat not my partner)

Hopefully he's not mistreating the cat but if it's threats like "I'm going to kick that cat if it does that again" and not joking things like I would say "you are so fluffy you'd make a nice pair of slippers" then I'd dump him.

Dangermoo · 14/06/2025 09:36

MadamCholetsbonnet · 14/06/2025 09:28

Off he fucks…

😆 🤣

Simonjt · 14/06/2025 09:34

Chazbots · 14/06/2025 09:14

How people treat animals is a good indicator of their character.

Yep, I don’t trust people who don’t like animals, so far I’ve been right to not trust them.

Original poster
Yasmin98 · 14/06/2025 09:32

Thanks all, these replies are reassuring and make me realise I need to give him a clear ultimatum.

OP posts:
JoyeuxNarwhal · 14/06/2025 09:30

I'm not really a cat person but he'd be shown the door for behaviour like that. I certainly wouldn't be moving him in.

Slatterndisgrace · 14/06/2025 09:29

FortyElephants · 14/06/2025 09:27

My DH used to dislike my cat. Fair enough because my cat is an arsehole and bites. However he put the effort in to get to know the cat and they bonded. I did explain you need to read the cat's cues so you can avoid being bitten but it took a while to get the hang of that. Does your cat bite? If not, there is no reason for him to be horrible about her. If he's being horrible TO her then that's different and a lot worse.

What are the cues? This stuff fascinates me.

DumbbellIdiot · 14/06/2025 09:28

LTB. Cats don’t have feeling? Like, WTF??

MadamCholetsbonnet · 14/06/2025 09:28

Off he fucks…