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Original poster

DP being horrible towards my DCat

259 replies

Yasmin98 · 14/06/2025 09:12

DP and I don’t live with each other but he stays over a couple nights a week.

Recently, he has been making increasingly rude comments about my DCat and when I challenge him he just says ‘she’s a cat, she doesn’t have feelings’.

He really isn’t a pet person which is fine but I would expect him to treat mine with respect.

Has anyone had a similar situation and found a solution? I am reluctant to move him in full time unless his attitude changes.

OP posts:
justkeepswimingswiming · 14/06/2025 09:57

If he cant treat a cat with respect, then hes probably a sociopath/psychopath have you ever watched dont fuck with cats?
id be ending the relationship today.

Branleuse · 14/06/2025 09:57

They are horrible comments.
I think if he was joking, youd know, but it makes you feel so uncomfortable because hes not completely joking.
I think you know him best though.
I think you should tell him that he needs to quit it with those comments because you dont find it funny, and that its actually giving you the ick. People being unkind to animals is a huge red flag, and you don't even want to hear jokes about it. He needs to accept that she lives here and learn how to look where hes going more.

Then keep a close eye on his attitude

PomeloOud · 14/06/2025 09:56

‘D’cat 🙄

He sounds horrible. Keep the cat and lose the partner.

Heatherjayne1972 · 14/06/2025 09:55

Keep the cat
Ditch the loser

as someone else said how people treat animals is a good indicator of their character

MyKingdomForACat · 14/06/2025 09:54

Couldn’t have that. To me it would show a nasty side

BunnyRuddington · 14/06/2025 09:54

He’s showing you who he really is. When I met my now DH I had DCats and he doted on them. Cuddled them, looked after them if I asked. He couldn’t have been more caring.

Quarter of a century on and he’s still the same. Looks after me, the DC and our pets. He showed me who he was, gentle kind and caring.

I’d dump him.

Slatterndisgrace · 14/06/2025 09:53

MemorableTrenchcoat · 14/06/2025 09:51

How so?

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I forgot to put a smiley to make it clear it was a joke……

Mothership4two · 14/06/2025 09:52

If he is making jokes/threats to kick your cat then he is an arse.

I have to say I do call my cat a dckhead and a wnker when he is being one. I adore the little toerag

HideousKinky · 14/06/2025 09:52

Yasmin98 · 14/06/2025 09:40

It is things like, if DCat gets in my way again I’m going to kick her like a football.

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Protect your cat and dump this man

MemorableTrenchcoat · 14/06/2025 09:51

Slatterndisgrace · 14/06/2025 09:39

Cruel.

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How so?

Bridport · 14/06/2025 09:51

He sounds appalling and as though he has cruel thoughts that he might visit on the cat and potentially you.

This is him on his best behaviour before he moves in. He sounds a shit.

Slatterndisgrace · 14/06/2025 09:51

TroysMammy · 14/06/2025 09:50

I don't even shout it at my partner even though I buy the cat expensive diet food!

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It’s good that you’re controlling your violent tendencies 😁

Walkthisroad · 14/06/2025 09:51

‘Kick the cat like a football?’

Why did that even come into his head? Disgusting to even think of it let alone say it. I would not trust him.

TroysMammy · 14/06/2025 09:50

Slatterndisgrace · 14/06/2025 09:38

Cat will be fine, unless you shout it in its face with a mean look.

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I don't even shout it at my partner even though I buy the cat expensive diet food!

Girlwithapple · 14/06/2025 09:49

OP if a partner had said that about one of my dogs, they would have been straight out of the door. Your partner is vile. A lot of people don't particularly like animals but to express a desire to actively hurt an animal is completely different. Do you really want to be stood there in the shower wondering if your partner is kicking your poor cat as soon as you are out of sight?

whitewineandsun · 14/06/2025 09:49

Yasmin98 · 14/06/2025 09:40

It is things like, if DCat gets in my way again I’m going to kick her like a football.

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Wtf? Kick him out. Vile man.

Mistressofnone · 14/06/2025 09:49

I finished with someone because of this too. My cat was very nervous & jumpy. He would bang his hands together to make her jump then laugh like a goon.

Slatterndisgrace · 14/06/2025 09:49

Cherrytree86 · 14/06/2025 09:46

@Balloonhearts

that’s not true. You can be completely indifferent to pets and still be a great parents. And that is because pets and children are not the same.

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Being indifferent to pets isn’t the same as muttering threats of violence towards them though. It’s pretty disrespectful to his partner I’d he knows she loves her cat.

DumbbellIdiot · 14/06/2025 09:48

Yasmin98 · 14/06/2025 09:40

It is things like, if DCat gets in my way again I’m going to kick her like a football.

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Run OP, run for the hills! This man is no good.

TroysMammy · 14/06/2025 09:47

Yasmin98 · 14/06/2025 09:40

It is things like, if DCat gets in my way again I’m going to kick her like a football.

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Dump him. Saying things like that isn't about hurting the cat's feelings, like I said calling him a fatty , but threats about physically hurting the cat to cause injury. As others have said you won't know what he will do if you aren't around.

InWithPeaceOutWithStress · 14/06/2025 09:47

Oh my god OP that’s much worse than I had expected. Threatening violence towards a cat (vulnerable and powerless) is a significant red flag. How is he in other aspects of the relationship?

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 14/06/2025 09:46

Yasmin98 · 14/06/2025 09:40

It is things like, if DCat gets in my way again I’m going to kick her like a football.

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I'd kick this cunt like a football.
Get him in the bin, he is not a good man. Imagine the relationship progresses and you do move in together, could you trust him to be alone with your lovely cat?

susiedaisy1912 · 14/06/2025 09:46

I wouldn’t trust this man around my animals or children op. Be careful

Cherrytree86 · 14/06/2025 09:46

Balloonhearts · 14/06/2025 09:23

How a person treats animals and children is a big indicator of what kind of person they are. I'd dump him tbh.

@Balloonhearts

that’s not true. You can be completely indifferent to pets and still be a great parents. And that is because pets and children are not the same.

FionnulaTheCooler · 14/06/2025 09:45

Yasmin98 · 14/06/2025 09:40

It is things like, if DCat gets in my way again I’m going to kick her like a football.

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I'd be threatening to kick his nuts like a football if he tried it. Wanker.