DP being horrible towards my DCat

I would feel uneasy about leaving the room
with him and the cat alone. Whilst he may not go out of his way to deliberately hurt the cat, I wouldn’t put it past him to boot it away if the cat came near him.

He sounds awful.

He wants you to get rid of your cat and he's threatened to abuse it.

This is the reddest of red flags.

That and the remark that you're lazy, WTF. He's cruel and mean and shitty and fucking creepy.

Dump immediately.

Ok this man is a prick.

A weird and revolting prick. How people treat animals is a good indicator of how they will treat other living things.

Jesus, dump this man, he's a psycho. Don't wait until he actually does something. Get rid of him fast.

Normal people wouldn’t make comments about kicking a cat. He’s entitled to not be fond of cats, but that is extreme. Then there’s also the fact that it’s YOUR cat and he knows you love it, yet he would still say something like that. He isn’t just indifferent to cats, he obviously really dislikes them. That’s a huge incompatibility between you. To be honest, he would be gone from my life immediately if he made a threat like that about my pet. As for the comments about his ex. Nope. Chuck him back in the sea.

It’s not about respecting your pet it’s about respecting you in your own home. He’s nicest ting you at all and you should pay attention to this as an Indy action if how he would act in future.

I personally don’t like people talking badly about pets, even if it’s a joke and the pet can’t understand.

I would expect a partner to respect me enough to listen to me when u say I find something upsetting and to not do it again.

But your DP is taking the comments to the next level and he’s saying these things intentionally to make you feel uncomfortable.

I had an ex who hates cats and I had 2.
Not once did he say anything bad about them because he knew that I would not stand for it and the relationship would be over.

What he’s saying about the cat is disgusting but this is so much more, he is intentionally pushing your boundaries and you absolutely need to push back.

I’ve just seen the threats of abuse comments. Get his pathetic sorry backside out of your house and out of your life!!

I agree. There was an upsetting story in the news earlier this week about a man who was violent towards his girlfriend’s cats, and killed two of them, as well as being violent towards her. Despite this, he didn’t get a prison sentence. I can’t find the link now but your posts have reminded me of that story.

Edit: found the story. Some upsetting details, obviously.

, Link to Daily Mail article

It may be “just a cat” and wouldn’t understand the comments but it’s the principle of the thing. I adore cats and such comments would make me uncomfortable to be around that person. He’s not for you so say cheerio%.

Yes I would be worried about leaving him alone with the cat. Definitely LTB

If he is saying stuff like this in front of you I bet he is doing sneaky spiteful things to the cat when you aren’t there. A bully is a bully is a bully.

OK, I was waiting from the rest of the iceberg to start showing. It's not only about how he treats the cat (as others have said, cruelty against animals is a big sociopath flag and an indicator of how they'd treat children and other vulnerable people) but how he talks about his ex is a bigger red flag imo. I bet that his "ex is a psycho, abusive, lazy,..." 🙄

How on earth can you find someone attractive / have a relationship with someone who threatens to kick an animal?
You say you don’t think he would but to even say / think it is truly awful.

People who are unkind to animals are unkind to other people too. I am struggling to understand how you haven’t dumped him already! Your poor cat.

Abusive men like your dp start to push boundaries with animals first before they move on to humans. It begins with name calling, then emotional abuse & then finally physical violence. He's testing you to see what he can get away with as it's calculated and part of his personality. Dump him and save yourself and cat future heartache.

He's told you who he is. Believe him - and dump him.

Well, he's wrong about cats not having feelings. They are sentient beings, they know when someone is being horrible to them and their feelings can be hurt. Also, how someone treats animals is a good indicator of character and is thus a red flag. He could treat others in similar fashion if he sees them as powerless to do anything about his behaviour - as your DCat is (though she might take to passive aggressive tactics such as sitting on his lap, or less passive aggressively, scratching him, in which case good on her, a real feminist standing up to misogynistic abuse).

I would fuck him off, sounds very unintelligent, emotionally stunted and generally a not a nice person if he says he will kick a defenceless creature. He would get through my front door.

He’s telling you that he can’t even face competing with a cat for your attention. He’s a vile, insecure little man and you should absolutely not be moving him in, because the next thing will be that he doesn’t like your friends and family, so you can’t see them, and after that he has you isolated and entirely devoted to him and his needs.

He’s testing the water with the cat. You owe it to yourself to chuck him back.

😁 I do find cats really funny - there’s some great YouTube videos. Does your cat do the adrenaline thing?

If you can't see the cruelty running through this man you must be love blind. He sounds nasty and, in my opinion, WILL kick your cat like a football. At least he's being truthful and not hiding what a nasty piece of shit he is. With truth comes choices. Make the right one before your cat gets seriously hurt or rehome your cat if he's moving in... PLEASE

This is not normal behaviour. And I say this as someone who doesn’t even like cats that much. He’ll have other anger issues, you just haven’t seen them yet. Whatever you do, do not have children with this man.

Ultimatum? Er no OP, he needs to be thrown back. He’s vile.

I’ve not RTFT but: after a domestic violence event the police ask if the perpetrator has ever been unkind to animals, it’s a good indicator of behaviour.

Ditch him pronto.
You and your cat deserve better.

This is awful.

How you can be with someone who says things like this about a supposed dear cat is beyond my comprehension.

And how you can even be contemplating moving a man in who clearly doesn't like your cat is also unfathomable.

Is your poor cat as dear to you as you say because it doesn't look like it.