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AIBU?

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Original poster

DP being horrible towards my DCat

259 replies

Yasmin98 · 14/06/2025 09:12

DP and I don’t live with each other but he stays over a couple nights a week.

Recently, he has been making increasingly rude comments about my DCat and when I challenge him he just says ‘she’s a cat, she doesn’t have feelings’.

He really isn’t a pet person which is fine but I would expect him to treat mine with respect.

Has anyone had a similar situation and found a solution? I am reluctant to move him in full time unless his attitude changes.

OP posts:
FortyElephants · 14/06/2025 09:27

My DH used to dislike my cat. Fair enough because my cat is an arsehole and bites. However he put the effort in to get to know the cat and they bonded. I did explain you need to read the cat's cues so you can avoid being bitten but it took a while to get the hang of that. Does your cat bite? If not, there is no reason for him to be horrible about her. If he's being horrible TO her then that's different and a lot worse.

MayaPinion · 14/06/2025 09:27

I’m not really a pet person but I wouldn’t, in a million years, be rude about a partner’s, especially knowing how much people love their pets. I’d say this is a red flag. He’s showing he doesn’t care if he hurts you.

Slatterndisgrace · 14/06/2025 09:26

VIOLETPUGH · 14/06/2025 09:24

Never trust a person is unkind to animals !

True!

Favouritefruits · 14/06/2025 09:26

Definitely a red flag! What kind of person is unkind to anyone/anything on purpose! Get rid and find yourself a lovely kind partner. He’ll only get worse

raspberrieswithchocolate · 14/06/2025 09:25

Greenartywitch · 14/06/2025 09:23

Never trust anyone who is mean to animals...

He is now showing you who he really is. Get rid of him.

Very true, you can't trust this person.

VIOLETPUGH · 14/06/2025 09:24

Never trust a person is unkind to animals !

Slatterndisgrace · 14/06/2025 09:24

OtterlyMad · 14/06/2025 09:14

What on earth is a “Dcat”???

The solution is to tell him to stop, and if he doesn’t, dump him.

Cat will be offended if not called dear cat. Don’t be callous.

Dangermoo · 14/06/2025 09:24

You can tell how many of us are animal lovers, going by these responses. Hope you take it on board OP. Men are ten a penny, compared to our pets.

InWithPeaceOutWithStress · 14/06/2025 09:23

I once started a new relationship and soon after got a kitten. I naturally spent lots of my time looking after / playing with / socialising my kitten. New bf must have felt jealous as he began complaining about the kitten and demanding that I shut kitten out of the bedroom! This obviously didn’t happen. Luckily that relationship ended and my next (and current) bf has always had a wonderful relationship with my cats. I think it’s important for a partner to be compatible with all members of the family, which can include children and pets!

Zanatdy · 14/06/2025 09:23

If someone was mean about my dog, they’d be out!

Greenartywitch · 14/06/2025 09:23

Never trust anyone who is mean to animals...

He is now showing you who he really is. Get rid of him.

catsand · 14/06/2025 09:23

BernardButlersBra · 14/06/2025 09:20

I'm team cat. Get rid of the horrible boyfriend

Yep.

Balloonhearts · 14/06/2025 09:23

How a person treats animals and children is a big indicator of what kind of person they are. I'd dump him tbh.

quietlyhopeful11 · 14/06/2025 09:22

I broke off with a fiance for this in my 20’s. No regrets. 🤣

raspberrieswithchocolate · 14/06/2025 09:22

If he's like this now then he's only going to get worse if he moves in. I would be afraid to leave my pet alone with someone who clearly shows their disdain for my pets in front of me - I'd be afraid of how they would treat them if I wasn't around.

ilovesooty · 14/06/2025 09:21

I wouldn't be moving anyone in who made it clear he didn't like my cats.

amooseymoomum · 14/06/2025 09:21

Easy solution: give him the big E
course cats have feelings, stupid idiot.

screwyou · 14/06/2025 09:21

I voted YABU to remain with this asshole!

BernardButlersBra · 14/06/2025 09:20

I'm team cat. Get rid of the horrible boyfriend

TheFlakyAquaSloth · 14/06/2025 09:19

Chazbots · 14/06/2025 09:14

How people treat animals is a good indicator of their character.

This. Dump him.

Bonjovispyjamas · 14/06/2025 09:19

He'd be out the door for good. If you move him in full time, you don't know how he'd treat your poor cat when you're not around.

Dangermoo · 14/06/2025 09:19

Not a cat but love me, love my dog. He would be gone.

AgnesX · 14/06/2025 09:17

That's something that'd turn me right off. It's not an attractive behavioural trait. And where does it stop. People's behaviour to animals is generally a flag about how they'll behave to humans at some point.

What would you do with the cat if you moved in together?

FlightCommanderPRJohnson · 14/06/2025 09:17

The first time he said that would be the last time as far as I'm concerned, he'd be given a sharp elbow. My cats come first.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 14/06/2025 09:17

Cuddle the cat. Kick the not very dear partner into touch.

Pet people and not pet people are not a good mix. Not pet people who are actively unkind to pets should not be allowed across the threshold.