DP being horrible towards my DCat

People who don't believe animals have feelings are psychopaths. Most serial killers start off torturing animals.

Plus he makes disgusting comments about his ex partner to your face.

If you stay with this vile arsehole then on your head be it!

He is commenting on sex with his ex and threatening to hurt your cat and you are giving him a final warning?

Don’t move him in. He’ll be kicking the cat when he thinks you’re not looking then inventing all sorts of ‘allergies’ as reasons the cat needs to be re homed, and you won’t be able to trust him not to hurt your pet.

By allowing this piece of vermin to remain in your life, and worse, your cat's life, you are just as guilty of animal cruelty. Make no mistake, he WILL harm your cat, and it'll be on your head for giving him the opportunity.

If you continue along this path he is going to hurt your cat and you are effectively going to let him do it.

Since you are giving a wannabe animal abuser more opportunities to harm your cat, please re-home the cat. Don't let it become your POS BF's outlet for abuse. He'll do it when you're not around, or just in the other room until he's sure of you, like moving in. Then he'll do it in front of you.

You're making a big mistake letting him in your life.

YANBU. If she matters to you, she should matter to him. I’d be very suspicious of a man who is unkind to animals. Imagine how he’d treat her when you’re not around! Imagine how he'd treat a child…

Cats don’t have feelings < things psychos say

If you're not going to dump this arsehole and fuck knows why you're not doing that? At least rehome the poor cat to someone who will love it and not put it in danger.

That would be enough for me to end it. That’s despicable. JFC - he’s telling you who he is. A nasty, vicious piece of crap who’d boot your cat because it ‘doesn’t have feelings.’ It’s the talk of a psychopath!

Thats is truly horrific. The poor DCat.

Are you on glue? Nobody is this stupid surely? He’s told you he’s a massive misogynistic twat and an animal abuser to boot and you’re giving him a “final warning”. You make your bed etc….

Thanks all, I’m going to give him a final warning and will not rush in to moving him in on a more permanent basis.

I would be careful. By giving him a final warning you’re telling him clearly what behaviour of his you find unacceptable and making it easier for him to hide this from you until you’re more invested and its harder to break free.

You do know what he’s like alrwsdy though. He lacks empathy, sees others as inferior and is telling you that your DCat isn’t safe with him.

I suspect though that yours so desperate for this to work that you’ll rock up in the relationship section in a few —wasted— years asking for help on how to escape your abuser.

Dump him. Sounds like a total prick. Enjoy the love of your beautiful cat.

OP, giving a "warning" to a man with this attitude is 100% not going to change him into a decent man who is kind to animals and respectful to women.

Agree totally. He would be gone as fast as you could snap your fingers. Imagine talking about kicking a small, innocent animal.

No need for a talk op, he's a bad person.

Giving him a warning rather than just binning him off gives him the opportunity to pretend he's now ok with her, but he will take it out on her when you're not around. You're making a big mistake here. You're also missing the point that if he were halfway decent, he'd realise that your cat means a lot to you, even if he's not a cat person, and he would temper his language around the subject. He's a horrible person.

Dump. Cats are awesome and wonderful. I would not tolerate mine being insulted.

It would worry me too much he might take a sneaky kick or something when I'm out of the room

It's the cat's home! Does cat seem to think he's OK or avoid him @Yasmin98?

My friend adopted a badly traumatised cat after a woman was away for a week and her boyfriend kicked and beat her cat so hard it lost a leg and nearly died from stress (he had been kicking it around for a while before they suspect). Cat has never gotten over it.

My horrible ex threatened to kill or dump my cats when I was at work if we moved in...he was history after that As I've seen from my friend that it can be a real threat

Be really careful as it seems some people are like that. I'd definitely set up pet cams also to be safe if he is around your cat!

If a guy didn’t like my dog, he’d be dumped 😬

My sister married a man who was jealous of her cat, who she had from a kitten, with her former husband. He was unpleasant to the cat when she was around, and verged on cruel when she wasn't. It was sick making.

Perhaps read this before phrasing your final warning OP.
www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/thug-sobs-street-mum-avoids-35362684

Ugh!

Don't be daft.

He's going to blame the cat for you not being and be sneaky about it - she'll have little 'accidents' or he'll do something awful like bring you a huge bunch of Lillies, knowing that the pollen will kill her.

Get rid now. No warning that he's got to be more subtle about planning to abuse her.