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Original poster

To put this in my will? DC holiday

36 replies

Twoshoesnewshoes · 14/06/2025 09:04

I’ve just been reading the other thread about wills, and it got me thinking.
we’re doing ours soon.
my three DC are all adult. If something unexpected happened, they would each get about £120k from our estate.
they are very close but don’t often get the opportunity to hang out together, usually this is at our home at Christmas, or on a larger family holiday.
im considering ring fencing eg £5k from the will for them to get a cottage or something for a holiday so they can spend time together a few times.
or is that annoying and controlling?

OP posts:
AFingerofFudge · 14/06/2025 09:12

Until recently I would have said it was too controlling, but a friend of mine recently had a similar experience when her parents died, and there was a certain amount of money for her and her siblings to get together. For them it worked really well because although they were close, there was always reasons not to get together (they all live far from each other) mostly money related,
and she said that they had an amazing time and her and her brothers agreed it was a really considerate thing that their parents had done.

user7638490 · 14/06/2025 09:11

Controlling, and a plot line from the Archers. Have a listen and see how that’s going to play out!

BastardesEverywhere · 14/06/2025 09:10

Yes it's controlling. If they want to have a relationship after you've passed, they will. No beyond-the-grave holiday provisions needed.

Why not arrange a cottage holiday now, that you can also go on?

NuffSaidSam · 14/06/2025 09:10

I think it's a really nice idea to express to them when you're still alive or put in a letter to be read after your death, but I wouldn't try and ring fence money in your Will. I'm not sure it would even be possible...who would/could make them all book and go to a cottage?!

MoistVonL · 14/06/2025 09:09

Hell no - it should be their choice, not you interfering from beyond the grave.

onceuponatimeinneverland · 14/06/2025 09:08

Are you an archers fan as this exact scenario is playing out now.

Olderbeforemytime · 14/06/2025 09:08

Potentially. As they get older and some have pre schooler so can go any time, others are stuck with school holiday and one hates kids.

I would make it a suggestion.

countrygirl99 · 14/06/2025 09:08

I think I'd forgo the money rather than spend a holiday with one of my brothers. DH would feel the same about one of his

McCartneyOnTheHeath · 14/06/2025 09:07

I mean, you can write what you like but you can't force them to spend it on a holiday. Who knows what their situations will be in the future anyway?

Nopayrise · 14/06/2025 09:07

Put it in a non-binding letter of wishes as something you would like to happen, not your actual will

Stompythedinosaur · 14/06/2025 09:05

I think it's controlling. You have to trust they will make the choices they want to about their relationship when you aren't around any more.

A forced holiday isn't the vibe I think you want anyway.