Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Which of your children would take up arms if need be to defend their country

436 replies

Lardychops · 14/06/2025 01:01

Ive been thinking about this a lot lately in a thought experiment/abstract way since Ukraine invasion and having lived years ago in Israel where young people do national service from 17 as a matter of course with frequent refreshers- obviously now for them being put to the test .
So, my question is -
In terms of the ‘barbarians at the gates scenario which of your children/neices /nephews /siblings parents would drop everything to defend their country/ city/town/ village and family if they needed to ? And do you think their lifestyle/career path impacts on this?

I have 1DD single mother of 3 - she would have been first in the queue pre kids and if I looked after them she would be first to front line

3x DS - all tradesmen- without hesitation- 1 has a child but a partner - he would be first on the front line after his sister. One of them would be terrified but his pride would make him follow his brothers to protect his family rather than any bigger picture

1xDSD - works in retail -No doubt she would pick up arms and fight to the death.

1xDSD- left Uni-just got back from travelling - nothing in hospitality- no chance.

OP posts:
TheHateIsNotGood · 15/06/2025 20:50

No child of mine - too many generations of mine survived warfare, from Boer to Korea, (none died) and every single one drilled into me that War is awful and Peace is the only way.

Emonade · 15/06/2025 20:46

ellyeth · 15/06/2025 20:23

Stupid men start stupid wars and I wouldn't want any of my children or grandchildren to have to fight in them.

perfectly said

Emonade · 15/06/2025 20:46

Lardychops · 14/06/2025 01:01

Ive been thinking about this a lot lately in a thought experiment/abstract way since Ukraine invasion and having lived years ago in Israel where young people do national service from 17 as a matter of course with frequent refreshers- obviously now for them being put to the test .
So, my question is -
In terms of the ‘barbarians at the gates scenario which of your children/neices /nephews /siblings parents would drop everything to defend their country/ city/town/ village and family if they needed to ? And do you think their lifestyle/career path impacts on this?

I have 1DD single mother of 3 - she would have been first in the queue pre kids and if I looked after them she would be first to front line

3x DS - all tradesmen- without hesitation- 1 has a child but a partner - he would be first on the front line after his sister. One of them would be terrified but his pride would make him follow his brothers to protect his family rather than any bigger picture

1xDSD - works in retail -No doubt she would pick up arms and fight to the death.

1xDSD- left Uni-just got back from travelling - nothing in hospitality- no chance.

What the actual shit

Isabellivi · 15/06/2025 20:32

Because they are invaders. Not refugees! Biggest dupe ever.

tartyflette · 15/06/2025 20:24

DS has a right to dual citizenship with an EU country and is in the process of applying for it. He has always felt he has at least as much kinship with that country as he has with the UK and if Britain was involved in a conflict that he disagreed with we have always told him he could consider going to family in the other country. This is Ireland which, as well as being an EU member state, has also been politically neutral for many years. And I hope he would go.

ellyeth · 15/06/2025 20:23

Stupid men start stupid wars and I wouldn't want any of my children or grandchildren to have to fight in them.

Khayker · 15/06/2025 20:16

Natsku · 15/06/2025 20:01

Nuclear attack against a Nato state is the least likely as it guarantees destruction for the attacker too. Nuclear weapons are only useful as a threat, once you use them its all over. We can see that in Ukraine - Putin threatens and threatens but he never dares use them and Ukraine isn't even in Nato.

Problem is if another country that is willing to sacrifice in the name of religion or similar gets hold of them. Totally agree with what youre saying but jihadists or the like minded with access to nuclear weapons would turn our concept of war on its head.

Natsku · 15/06/2025 20:01

Khayker · 15/06/2025 19:53

Unless of course Russia or Iran drops a nuclear bomb on UK in which case its game over for many of us and very few boots left to put on the ground. That's probably the most likely scenario.

Nuclear attack against a Nato state is the least likely as it guarantees destruction for the attacker too. Nuclear weapons are only useful as a threat, once you use them its all over. We can see that in Ukraine - Putin threatens and threatens but he never dares use them and Ukraine isn't even in Nato.

mustytrusty · 15/06/2025 19:58

I would not put anyone forward until I'd seen the families and kids of the people deciding that we will go to war joining up. Once Keir Starmer and Boris Johnson's kids are wearing fatigues then I might start considering it. In all fairness I don't think to would come to that as it's unlikely to ever be a feet on the ground war. It'll be buttons pressed by people safely in underground bunkers and we probably won't have time to worry about it at all.

cramptramp · 15/06/2025 19:53

All of them. And I’d be proud that they would.

Khayker · 15/06/2025 19:53

Natsku · 15/06/2025 19:37

While drone warfare has developed massively in Ukraine its still very much a boots on the ground conflict and there's no reason to believe the next invasion won't be.

Unless of course Russia or Iran drops a nuclear bomb on UK in which case its game over for many of us and very few boots left to put on the ground. That's probably the most likely scenario.

LittleMG · 15/06/2025 19:49

I would literally do ANYTHING I could possibly do to prevent either of my sons from fighting in any war. It would absolutely kill me to see them taken for national service I would leave the country first, if that wasn’t possible they would have to come through me to get to my children.

i am extremely proud that my grandparents fought a war so my sons don’t have to.

NotMyDayJob · 15/06/2025 19:47

I mean they are 7 and 3 so I’m not sure they’d be that useful although my 7 year old would certainly give a good go of talking any potential invaders into submission

JustMeAndTheFish · 15/06/2025 19:46

None of them I hope, although it’s their choice. And I wouldn’t either. Don’t get me wrong, I would do ANYTHING I could do to help except take up arms. I only have two hills I’m prepared to die on and this is one of them.

Lovely13 · 15/06/2025 19:40

If it were a case of defending our country, such as in WW2. Then, yes, we would all do our bit. My father flew in bombers during war, my uncle died in conflict. But if it were a futile political one such as the invasion of Iraq. Absolutely not.

Natsku · 15/06/2025 19:37

Khayker · 15/06/2025 19:27

If you look at the war in Ukraine its been a very automated affair with drones and similar so would there even be a front line next time aroung? Here in the UK we're in Russian scope to be nuked for assisting Ukraine and now Iran has vowed revenge on us for helping Israel. My point being even warefare has changed and the chances of anyone being asked to repel invaders from our borders probably wouldn't be relevant. On a possitive note, I would fight for the freedoms we enjoy in the UK. My youngest son can't and my oldest would have to make a choice. Nobody would be fighting for the people who won't even stay and fight for their own families and arrive here illegally.

While drone warfare has developed massively in Ukraine its still very much a boots on the ground conflict and there's no reason to believe the next invasion won't be.

BIossomtoes · 15/06/2025 19:36

Starmer doesn’t have adult children. They’re both still at school.

Mum23plusC · 15/06/2025 19:32

Not a chance. Not until Starmer and the rest of the politicians put their grown up children forward.

Khayker · 15/06/2025 19:27

Lardychops · 14/06/2025 01:42

Why would you say that ?
I think given all that’s happening in the world , and with at least 6/7 real world examples where civilians are doing exactly what I’ve hypothosised, this it’s not a ‘MN bad night post’ it’s a reasonable question.

So I ask again seeing as you took the time to reply (Thabks btw) will you and your sons and daughters will just be hunkering down and hoping that someone’s else’s loved ones defend your hypothetical borders or would you pick up arms ?

If you look at the war in Ukraine its been a very automated affair with drones and similar so would there even be a front line next time aroung? Here in the UK we're in Russian scope to be nuked for assisting Ukraine and now Iran has vowed revenge on us for helping Israel. My point being even warefare has changed and the chances of anyone being asked to repel invaders from our borders probably wouldn't be relevant. On a possitive note, I would fight for the freedoms we enjoy in the UK. My youngest son can't and my oldest would have to make a choice. Nobody would be fighting for the people who won't even stay and fight for their own families and arrive here illegally.

Maray1967 · 15/06/2025 19:26

In the Ukraine example, all of us. I don’t see why DH, me, and both DSs would do less than my grandparents and great uncles did in the 1940s.

In the ‘let’s fight in Iraq’ case - none of us.

Iceboy80 · 15/06/2025 19:20

Shenmen · 14/06/2025 01:14

It would very much depend on the aggressors and why they were there
Nazis /Reform/trumpists- all of them
A "protect our nation" over the Falklands or similar. None of them

You're a piece of work arnt you, atleast if there was a war and they were defending we would atleast stand a chance, not with most pathetic liberals which we would be absolutely screwed.

BooBooDoodle · 15/06/2025 19:00

Cromulent · 14/06/2025 01:23

Not a fucking chance I'd let any of my family put their hand up if it was up to me.

Same here. Go through me first. Not to fight wars which are none of our concern and not for Starmer and his government, they can sign up their own kids. We need to mind our own business. My kids wont ever be used as cannon fodder.

ObliviousCoalmine · 15/06/2025 18:55

Hopefully none of them.

Smokesandeats · 15/06/2025 18:54

One of my adult DC and my adult DN would genuinely rather go to prison than fight if it was for a cause that they didn’t agree with. My DSC both have medical issues that would prevent them from seeing any kind of active service.

I doubt I would be much use even in a ‘Dad’s army’ type of scenario. I would have difficulty lifting, using or firing a weapon due to disabilities. I’d have to bite their knees or something! 😂

ExercicenformedeZ · 15/06/2025 18:42

Ridiculous hypothetical. If I had children, they would 'fight for their country' over my dead body.

Swipe left for the next trending thread