Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Which of your children would take up arms if need be to defend their country

436 replies

Lardychops · 14/06/2025 01:01

Ive been thinking about this a lot lately in a thought experiment/abstract way since Ukraine invasion and having lived years ago in Israel where young people do national service from 17 as a matter of course with frequent refreshers- obviously now for them being put to the test .
So, my question is -
In terms of the ‘barbarians at the gates scenario which of your children/neices /nephews /siblings parents would drop everything to defend their country/ city/town/ village and family if they needed to ? And do you think their lifestyle/career path impacts on this?

I have 1DD single mother of 3 - she would have been first in the queue pre kids and if I looked after them she would be first to front line

3x DS - all tradesmen- without hesitation- 1 has a child but a partner - he would be first on the front line after his sister. One of them would be terrified but his pride would make him follow his brothers to protect his family rather than any bigger picture

1xDSD - works in retail -No doubt she would pick up arms and fight to the death.

1xDSD- left Uni-just got back from travelling - nothing in hospitality- no chance.

OP posts:
Wtafdidido · 14/06/2025 08:53

None of them. If our family unit was directly attacked we would fight to the death to protect each other. Before anyone looks to take my sons they can take all their own young men back.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 14/06/2025 08:51

cheezncrackers · 14/06/2025 08:45

If Britain was attacked and all our lives were on the line, there's a chance that they would. To go and defend Finland or Lithuania from Russian aggression? No chance and over my dead body.

Same for me.
Nor Israel or Palestine.

AgnesX · 14/06/2025 08:51

Enterusername111333 · 14/06/2025 01:25

That's what I don't understand about all the men coming over on boats. Why are they not staying and fighting for their country

That was depressingly quick. How to turn any subject into a potshot at immigrants.

Fighting for your country shouldn't mean to the death.

Sixpence39 · 14/06/2025 08:49

Enterusername111333 · 14/06/2025 01:25

That's what I don't understand about all the men coming over on boats. Why are they not staying and fighting for their country

Some escaping civil war or other internal violence, which is very different to the scenario given here. Your own country's army/government attacking you, imprisoning and torturing you, versus fighting an external attacker. No power, no arms - how do you fight? you don't know what you'd do in this circumstance unless you've lived it.

Theroadt · 14/06/2025 08:48

Actually an annoying post. Nobody wants to fight. But nobody wants to suffer what happened in Bucha. It depends on the situation.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 14/06/2025 08:47

Shenmen · 14/06/2025 08:34

Sadly your children are representative of many people. Look at how people fell for Brexit and Reform. They were very good on social media.

Look at the people who voted for Brexit and Reform. Not exactly the brains of the country. Anyone with half a brain would see through it. All a social media campaign would do is attract the people who would go anyway.

A lot of the educated males fled Russia. So it didn’t have much influence on them.

Nousernamesleftatall · 14/06/2025 08:47

None of my kids would go because they know all wars are funded and profited on both sides by the same people whose children would never be near a front line. Anyone who happily waves their kids off to war is an idiot.

Lardychops · 14/06/2025 08:47

Shenmen · 14/06/2025 08:41

My mum was upset that one of our kids had the middle name Joseph, because of Stalin. He killed more people than Hitler (including 2 of my Mum's uncles).

The horrors of the Russian Revolution and Despotic reign of terror by the deranged mass murderer Stalin are revered by many in the West, who lead hugely privileged life’s with the type of freedoms they would never be afforded under those regimes.

See Also Fidel, Che etc - without any understanding of the absolute horrors they inflicted on their own people.

Im sorry for your mum’s uncles. x

OP posts:
BiscuitBotherer · 14/06/2025 08:46

Lardychops · 14/06/2025 01:30

Quite…

Oh, it’s a racism post! I wondered what your point was.

Southwestten · 14/06/2025 08:45

In the event of an invasion I don’t know what I’d do - I don’t know if the invaders would recognise Wales and Scotland as separate countries so escaping there wouldn’t necessarily save us.

However if a nuclear bomb was dropped then I’d grab dh and the pets and march towards the mushroom cloud. I have no desire to survive a nuclear bomb.

Blacksheepofbothfamilies · 14/06/2025 08:45

TinyTornado · 14/06/2025 08:42

Dulce et Decorum est…
Unfortunately I could see my primary age son thinking a war would be great fun, ‘Fortnite in Real Life’ and signing himself up.

If anyone has ever seen any of the Ukraine footage with the drones being used - I could see him being brilliant at that.
With a bit of training with an actual gun, he’d probably make a cracking sniper too.

It doesn’t give me any pleasure in knowing this and the cynic in me thinks these games are designed to get our children to train themselves for modern war- which is more about operating complex targeting systems than ‘boots on the ground’

I do think rather than younger generations getting dragged into real wars maybe Putin/Netanyahu/Trump need to get more into something like Fortnite and other similar games. Satisfy that craving they clearly have .

cheezncrackers · 14/06/2025 08:45

If Britain was attacked and all our lives were on the line, there's a chance that they would. To go and defend Finland or Lithuania from Russian aggression? No chance and over my dead body.

1apenny2apenny · 14/06/2025 08:43

No I wouldn’t want my children to go to war for any government. The way we are treated is appalling, yes defending family but not the country. Things are very different now, we have so much more information and can make better informed choices. I am surprised so many would when you know that Blair took us into a war based on a lie and the shenanigans and lies during Covid. On that note I think we can also guess that it wouldn’t be the powers that be kids going in as cannon fodder, they’d be let off for some dubious reason or sat at head office doing important clever things. Given also the number of young people with disabilities and mental health problems frankly I’d be surprised we could send anyone anyway. We would leave the country and yes I’ve spoken to my DCs about this as it seems to keep being ‘floated’ in the media and neither of them would do it.

HungryHungryHippopotamus · 14/06/2025 08:43

SunnyOchreNewt · 14/06/2025 01:34

So if it were 1939 would she and her family be happy to be Nazis?

Edited

You say this as though being a Nazi is unimaginable. Most people in Germany in 1939 were happy to go along with it, at least to begin with.

TinyTornado · 14/06/2025 08:42

Dulce et Decorum est…
Unfortunately I could see my primary age son thinking a war would be great fun, ‘Fortnite in Real Life’ and signing himself up.

If anyone has ever seen any of the Ukraine footage with the drones being used - I could see him being brilliant at that.
With a bit of training with an actual gun, he’d probably make a cracking sniper too.

It doesn’t give me any pleasure in knowing this and the cynic in me thinks these games are designed to get our children to train themselves for modern war- which is more about operating complex targeting systems than ‘boots on the ground’

Shenmen · 14/06/2025 08:41

Lardychops · 14/06/2025 08:38

I’m a Social worker in an Adolescents Team. (13-17) Used to teach secondary (History)
I agree many would, but in my view they would be those who largely came from working class.

(as a side note
When I taught, I found middle class kids often parroted their parents in their disdain for the West and hatred of their own country. (See also Nazis = Bad / Russian Rev/ Lenin /Stalin = Good- but you know, just got the old communism part a teeny weeny bit wrong)
I found it extraordinary- that’s real White Privilege’ - at its ugliest.

My mum was upset that one of our kids had the middle name Joseph, because of Stalin. He killed more people than Hitler (including 2 of my Mum's uncles).

purpleygrey · 14/06/2025 08:41

Mine are far too young. But my brothers/cousins and partner would.

I would if I didn’t have the kids.

Lardychops · 14/06/2025 08:40

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 14/06/2025 08:37

My DS had this conversation with his 6th form friends. He was the only one who would fight.

Not surprised at all. X

OP posts:
MaloryJones · 14/06/2025 08:39

Cromulent · 14/06/2025 01:23

Not a fucking chance I'd let any of my family put their hand up if it was up to me.

Ditto

Lardychops · 14/06/2025 08:38

sophiasnail · 14/06/2025 08:05

I am a maths teacher teaching mainly A level, so 16-18 year olds. I honestly think if we were in a horrendous situation where our shores needed defending, today's young people would be every bit as brave as the ones in previous world wars.

I’m a Social worker in an Adolescents Team. (13-17) Used to teach secondary (History)
I agree many would, but in my view they would be those who largely came from working class.

(as a side note
When I taught, I found middle class kids often parroted their parents in their disdain for the West and hatred of their own country. (See also Nazis = Bad / Russian Rev/ Lenin /Stalin = Good- but you know, just got the old communism part a teeny weeny bit wrong)
I found it extraordinary- that’s real White Privilege’ - at its ugliest.

OP posts:
Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 14/06/2025 08:37

My DS had this conversation with his 6th form friends. He was the only one who would fight.

Doitrightnow · 14/06/2025 08:35

Shenmen · 14/06/2025 01:14

It would very much depend on the aggressors and why they were there
Nazis /Reform/trumpists- all of them
A "protect our nation" over the Falklands or similar. None of them

Similar to this.

If we were being bombed by Nazis then yes.

If I felt like WE were actually in the wrong, then no.

I think DH and most of my relatives would feel the same.

Shenmen · 14/06/2025 08:34

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 14/06/2025 08:26

I think some people underestimate the power of social media - if there was a sustained propaganda campaign on tiktok and other sites as there has been in Russia that created huge fear (like in Covid) and a sense of purpose/activity/meaning/honour in fighting then I think parents would not be able to stop their children from the choices they then make

l completely disagree. Most people can think for themselves if they’ve got half a brain, Dd doesn’t do social media, DS would ignore it. People would just turn against it,

Sadly your children are representative of many people. Look at how people fell for Brexit and Reform. They were very good on social media.

Shenmen · 14/06/2025 08:33

Southwestten · 14/06/2025 08:21

It would very much depend on the aggressors and why they were there
Nazis /Reform/trumpists- all of them

@Shenmen You would fight against right wing regimes, but would you fight against a left wing aggressor? Or do you believe better red than dead?

Good point. Any form of extremist would be worth fighting against. Once you get so far right or left they are virtually the same in their abhorent treatment of people. The extreme right tend to pick on a specific group where as the extreme left surpress 99% of the people.

zmq3Zm96uijcs2c · 14/06/2025 08:31

Once the politicians, super rich, landed gentry and royals (and their children) take up arms, my kids and I can fill in behind them.