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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Using 'We' when talking about yourself.

85 replies

Aquarius1234 · 14/06/2025 00:22

AIBU to do this in a fairly light hearted way?

Is it just going with the modern times.
I like to for whatever reason esp when telling a story.

Also AIBU to be slightly annoyed when the other person doesn't get it? 🙄

OP posts:
Swannsee · 14/06/2025 02:29

JabbaTheBeachHut · 14/06/2025 00:31

What bug?

I don't think I've really heard anyone saying 'we' when they mean 'I'?

Apart from idiots who say 'we're pregnant'.

I like to ask them if they've decided on which one of them will be giving birth and breastfeeding.

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I want to walk up to the man shake his hand and ask how he managed to defy biology

I do use 'we' when I want to make a point 'we are going to tidy our mess up aren't we'

But with the ridiculous pronouns thing nothing surprises me these days, I am surprised some people dont identify as a type of donkey

Original poster
Aquarius1234 · 14/06/2025 02:03

Lurkingandlearning · 14/06/2025 01:38

No. If you are referring to yourself it’s accurate. Unless you are obviously joking, saying we or one is pretentious. M’lady 😆

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We like you. 😉
Yeh that was terrible..

OP posts:
Agapornis · 14/06/2025 01:50

I used to have a manager who did this. He'd claim 'we' decided or agreed something, when it was just him pushing through some stupid idea. Dickhead.

NoBinturongsHereMate · 14/06/2025 01:45

Aquarius1234 · 14/06/2025 01:15

If you say I too much isn't it slightly self absorbed?

Talking constantly about yourself is likely to be self absorbed, yes. Using the wrong pronoun to do so doesn't make it less self absorbed; it just makes it self absorbed and weird.

Lurkingandlearning · 14/06/2025 01:38

Aquarius1234 · 14/06/2025 01:15

If you say I too much isn't it slightly self absorbed?

No. If you are referring to yourself it’s accurate. Unless you are obviously joking, saying we or one is pretentious. M’lady 😆

Lurkingandlearning · 14/06/2025 01:35

Aquarius1234 · 14/06/2025 00:42

Im a bit surprised no one else has done or heard people doing this.

The only time I’ve heard of it was comedy references to Queen Victoria.

But if it amuses you and doesn’t annoy everyone else, fill your boots.

Original poster
Aquarius1234 · 14/06/2025 01:20

JohnnyLuLus · 14/06/2025 00:50

Don't do it. You sound ridiculous.
I know someone who uses "we" when he means "I" but he wants to make it seem like him and his partner are in agreement. I don't think the partner has any say. I always want to say "We? Are you sure? Or is it just you?"

"We don't like that kind of food".
"We vote Reform".
"We don't do that".
"We like Joanna Lumley".

Yes that's another example of people doing it.
We when they actually mean I.
It's so the blame if it happens isn't just on them or they have a shield.
Definitely find that annoying in that context.

OP posts:
Todayisaday · 14/06/2025 01:18

Just no. Also no to talking about yourself in the third person using your name.
Also no to talking about me in the tgird person when I am there. Any of these things make me instantly hate a person, unless it is done very sarcastically as an obvious joke.

Original poster
Aquarius1234 · 14/06/2025 01:15

If you say I too much isn't it slightly self absorbed?

OP posts:
Original poster
Aquarius1234 · 14/06/2025 01:14

Floatlikeafeather2 · 14/06/2025 01:12

As I said up post, Margaret Thatcher did but you really don't want to be like her, OP. I can't think of anyone else I've heard using the Royal We, though, apparently, Queen Victoria did. It seems a bit affected, to be honest and very possibly quite tedious to listen to.

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That's weird she always say we about herself. Maybe she was referring to her family as a whole ?

OP posts:
NoBinturongsHereMate · 14/06/2025 01:13

Maybe using humour or sarcasm is a way of dealing with other issues.

It often is, but I don't see how using a plural for a singlar is either humorous or sarcastic.

Werp · 14/06/2025 01:12

We have not been making adequate use of the pluralis majestatis. We will attend to this in future communications.

Floatlikeafeather2 · 14/06/2025 01:12

Aquarius1234 · 14/06/2025 00:42

Im a bit surprised no one else has done or heard people doing this.

As I said up post, Margaret Thatcher did but you really don't want to be like her, OP. I can't think of anyone else I've heard using the Royal We, though, apparently, Queen Victoria did. It seems a bit affected, to be honest and very possibly quite tedious to listen to.

Pallisers · 14/06/2025 01:11

Aquarius1234 · 14/06/2025 00:42

Im a bit surprised no one else has done or heard people doing this.

Trump does it all the time. Probably lowest on the list of reasons I hate him but still on the list.

Original poster
Aquarius1234 · 14/06/2025 01:06

PinkArt · 14/06/2025 01:02

Mate, you're going to have to give some examples of you want anyone to understand how you mean you're using 'we'!

Maybe it's a subconscious thing? Maybe using humour or sarcasm is a way of dealing with other issues. Perhaps I say we as I don't like always saying I 🤷
Maybe it stops me feeling isolated. Who knows..

OP posts:
SallyDraperGetInHere · 14/06/2025 01:04

Aquarius1234 · 14/06/2025 00:42

Im a bit surprised no one else has done or heard people doing this.

I do this and it doesn’t serve me well. Divorced now, I was so used to ‘we’ that it was hard to say ‘I.’ I also used to to mask my singleness, eg if someone asked about holidays, I’d say ‘we’ to colleagues to not get into the ‘me and the kids’ conversation. At work, even though I was a solo employee, id say ‘we’ to talk about the company. I think it made me minimise the ‘I’ role of MY achievements. I try to not do it now.

PinkArt · 14/06/2025 01:02

Mate, you're going to have to give some examples of you want anyone to understand how you mean you're using 'we'!

Original poster
Aquarius1234 · 14/06/2025 01:02

" Well we always try" about myself.

OP posts:
Original poster
Aquarius1234 · 14/06/2025 01:00

Hard thinking of exact examples

OP posts:
JabbaTheBeachHut · 14/06/2025 00:52

Butchyrestingface · 14/06/2025 00:50

Possibly the demographic you're dealing with are too young to remember Margaret Thatcher (the lucky bastards)?

70s child here but still very confused.

Butchyrestingface · 14/06/2025 00:50

Possibly the demographic you're dealing with are too young to remember Margaret Thatcher (the lucky bastards)?

Original poster
Aquarius1234 · 14/06/2025 00:50

ImagineHarder · 14/06/2025 00:43

Yes, give examples, OP. But I’d have said it was the reverse of self-deprecating, given that monarchs traditionally referred to themselves as ‘We’…?

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Oh right that's interesting.
I'll try and think of examples.

OP posts:
Doomygloomy · 14/06/2025 00:50

I’m sorry op but I’d be cringing. I’ve never heard anyone refer to themselves as we , I would possible say ( about the toddlers )
We are tired so we need a snack .
As they are screaming their heads off .

I understand if you want to talk about yourself in the third person . But referring to yourself as ‘we’ is slightly…. Well…..

JohnnyLuLus · 14/06/2025 00:50

Don't do it. You sound ridiculous.
I know someone who uses "we" when he means "I" but he wants to make it seem like him and his partner are in agreement. I don't think the partner has any say. I always want to say "We? Are you sure? Or is it just you?"

"We don't like that kind of food".
"We vote Reform".
"We don't do that".
"We like Joanna Lumley".

Uptoolateatnight · 14/06/2025 00:45

I’ve seen businesses refer to themselves as ‘we’ when I know they’re a one man band!