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AIBU?

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Original poster

Using 'We' when talking about yourself.

85 replies

Aquarius1234 · 14/06/2025 00:22

AIBU to do this in a fairly light hearted way?

Is it just going with the modern times.
I like to for whatever reason esp when telling a story.

Also AIBU to be slightly annoyed when the other person doesn't get it? 🙄

OP posts:
RaininSummer · 14/06/2025 10:44

I don't understand this use of 'we' at all. Would make me think you maybe had a split personality and were hearing voices.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 14/06/2025 10:34

PinkArt · 14/06/2025 10:23

Thanks for sharing no examples 😂

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Aquarius1234 · Today 01:02

" Well we always try" about myself.

TorroFerney · 14/06/2025 10:32

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 14/06/2025 09:44

No. Talking about yourself constantly is self-absorbed. Doing so while using what has always been known as 'the royal we' very much doesn't make it less self-absorbed!

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Agree, op it's not the word I that's self absorbed it's the words around it! I think you are trying to solve a problem that doesn't exist. Are you a bit people pleaser ish, don't like being the centre of attention? I sniff a childhood where you were made to feel too much or someone else was always the centre of attention.

TorroFerney · 14/06/2025 10:29

Aquarius1234 · 14/06/2025 01:02

" Well we always try" about myself.

Hmm, it's really archaic , we are not amused. I don't think it sounds self deprecating, the act of adding we. One would be better that we. But that's probably not self deprecating is it more tongue in cheek, oh that cake is fab Jane, well one tries ones best.
Language is fascinating.

PinkArt · 14/06/2025 10:23

Aquarius1234 · 14/06/2025 01:06

Maybe it's a subconscious thing? Maybe using humour or sarcasm is a way of dealing with other issues. Perhaps I say we as I don't like always saying I 🤷
Maybe it stops me feeling isolated. Who knows..

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Thanks for sharing no examples 😂

queenmeadhbh · 14/06/2025 10:09

Aquarius1234 · 14/06/2025 01:06

Maybe it's a subconscious thing? Maybe using humour or sarcasm is a way of dealing with other issues. Perhaps I say we as I don't like always saying I 🤷
Maybe it stops me feeling isolated. Who knows..

Show quote history

OP!!! People keep asking you for examples and you keep saying, it’s to be funny or self deprecating but without explaining what slrt
of thing you are saying!! You’ve given one example of “well we do try” which I don’t really understand, so maybe if you gave some more examples in context?

KnickerlessParsons · 14/06/2025 09:53

Queen Victoria did it, and I assume other monarchs before he. It was called “the royal we”.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 14/06/2025 09:53

Unfortunately it's going to come across as either pretentious or just ridiculous.

unless it's a joke between you and someone else that's turned into a long running thing that you both do.

If you randomly use it with everyone then ime they're most likely to think it's stupid and perhaps laugh about you behind your back, sadly.

This is not me being horrible to you. I'm just saying what I have observed about people's behaviour when they come across someone with a quirk. I'm not saying they're are right to behave like that, just that I have observed that's a common reaction.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 14/06/2025 09:44

Aquarius1234 · 14/06/2025 01:15

If you say I too much isn't it slightly self absorbed?

No. Talking about yourself constantly is self-absorbed. Doing so while using what has always been known as 'the royal we' very much doesn't make it less self-absorbed!

islcg · 14/06/2025 09:33

I've used we when talking to men in social situations to give the impression I have a partner at home to put said men off coming on to me.

Rinoachicken · 14/06/2025 09:27

I use ‘we’ … but only with my therapist and safe people and because I have dissociative identity disorder, so literally it is ‘we’!

Not sure that’s what you are going for!

raspberrieswithchocolate · 14/06/2025 09:16

Uptoolateatnight · 14/06/2025 00:45

I’ve seen businesses refer to themselves as ‘we’ when I know they’re a one man band!

Yes, I've seen business websites using "we" when it's only a one person business but that's the only time I've seen or heard this. I've never heard a person using "we" instead of "I " in general conversation, that seems an odd thing to do!

FlatErica · 14/06/2025 08:59

It sounds juvenile and very annoying apart from being grammatically incorrect.

MoistVonL · 14/06/2025 08:59

The Royal We (as in “We are not amused”) was why Thatcher got stuck when she slipped up and said We are a grandmother - like she was the Queen.

’We’ as a bit of a pass/agg parenting approach (“no, Olivia, we don’t hit people”) was a common theme at playgroup. Mostly because clearly ‘we’ do hit people, if one of that ‘we’ was Olivia.

EmpressaurusKitty · 14/06/2025 08:53

SALaw · 14/06/2025 08:43

Is “we” your chosen pronoun?

That’s what I was thinking - if someone uses they/them for herself in the third person maybe she’d use we/us in the first person.

myplace · 14/06/2025 08:48

It’s people who assume everyone else agrees with them. Can’t imagine the wife and kids don’t, in fact, like to spend the holidays traipsing round castles and eating sandwiches.

SALaw · 14/06/2025 08:43

Is “we” your chosen pronoun?

JustFeedMeCake · 14/06/2025 08:19

Who is the we you refer to OP? You and who else? Because if it literally is a case of someone asking you “ do you like ice cream” and you’re alone and say “ we do like ice cream” that’s weird.

SociableAtWork · 14/06/2025 08:13

I think I might do this when I’m being a bit sarcastic… In a jokey kind of way. I can hear myself saying it, but to give an example would need a HUGE post, with background and context.

But, yeah, you’re not alone!

Puddypuds · 14/06/2025 08:01

My husband does this all the time. Drives me around the bend. Every time my immediate response is "who do you mean by we". He usually responds saying me and the kids (kids look at him blankly...no idea what the conversation is even about). I think he thinks it makes him sound more important!

Floatlikeafeather2 · 14/06/2025 07:52

Aquarius1234 · 14/06/2025 01:14

That's weird she always say we about herself. Maybe she was referring to her family as a whole ?

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Weirder than you doing it? I'm beginning to be suspicious about this thread. And of course they weren't talking about their families. Are you, when you do it? Or are you just trying to make yourself seem more interesting than you are?

PearlCity · 14/06/2025 03:56

The royal ‘we’ refers to god and I (the sovereign) is that the kind of vibe you are going for OP? 🤦

TheOriginalEmu · 14/06/2025 03:54

Aquarius1234 · 14/06/2025 01:15

If you say I too much isn't it slightly self absorbed?

How on earth is it self absorbed to say when I when you are referring to yourself?

im so baffled by this thread 😂

PomegranateVase · 14/06/2025 03:37

@Aquarius1234

I do this fairly often too op, and it’s always for humour.

camelfinger · 14/06/2025 02:39

I’ve noticed that people use “we” when they’re advertising their business, which I know is just one person.

At work, people I work for will say “can we have a look at this” which I have learnt translates to them asking me to do something. There’s a sign in the kitchen asking if we can keep the kitchen tidy, so whenever I see it I think “well
can we?”