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AIBU?

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Original poster

To cancel my baby shower next week

33 replies

harleq · 13/06/2025 22:55

My lovely Smum has wanted to host a small baby shower for me, nothing huge just some cake and tea really as it’s not overly my sort of thing. I’m 35 weeks pregnant.

A couple of friends have had to drop out due to things cropping up, which is fine. With a toddler myself too I know how life can get in the way. So there will be less than 10 people there. I’m exhausted, uncomfortable and quite frankly can’t be bothered to have to make an effort. I’ve been feeling light headed, v tired and nauseous the past few days and worried I won’t be feeling up to it.

AIBU and ungrateful to want to cancel with a weeks notice Confused

OP posts:
TooSquaretobehip · 13/06/2025 23:35

No you are NOT unreasonable, and I really don't understand what is wrong with the thought processes of the posters who say you are. If you are light headed and not well, it is really NOT SENSIBLE to continue with it. What if you passed out, it would ruin it for you and others. Don't over-exert yourself. If you are really not at all feeling up to it, PLEASE cancel, and don't feel any guilt. Your health and that of the baby comes FIRST. Not some gathering. They can always give you the gifts later.

Put yourself and your health and that of your baby FIRST! Please cancel. Any normal friend half of a human being will understand. I think some posters have their priorities back to front. It's also very late to be holding a baby shower! It 36+ weeks you could go into labor at any time, even premature labor. Which means you might have to cancel anyway, if you're taken to hospital or have given birth. So it's not really wise to be having it that late anyway. Gifts can wait.

MrsSkylerWhite · 13/06/2025 23:35

saraclara · 13/06/2025 22:56

You kind of are, yes.

Of course you’re not!

Ask your midwife to check the symptoms you mentioned.

Lindy2 · 13/06/2025 23:32

Sitting with a few friends having tea and cake isn't really very strenuous. I think you would be rather unreasonable to cancel. You might be feeling better in a week's time.

If you truly feel awful on the day just put in a short appearance. I imagine a lot of the preparation and organising has already been done.

Toucan123 · 13/06/2025 23:26

Yes you'd be unreasonable, it's only tea and some cake like you said. People will probably have brought gifts and arranged their weeks around the event. Plus your smum is probably really looking forward to doing this for you and you said yourself that she's lovely. So you risk really upsetting her if you cancel. You don't even have to stay long. I'd really try and make the effort if I were you.

SortthisoutpleaseJesus · 13/06/2025 23:21

I would have knocked this on the head from the moment it was suggested.

notmyrealnameok · 13/06/2025 22:57

I’d try to go ahead unless u are genuinely ill. It’s an opportunity to see people before baby comes. Plus people have likely got gifts/arranged childcare etc

Childanddogmama · 13/06/2025 22:57

No if you aren't feeling great just cancel. Better a weeks notice than cancelling on the day.

saraclara · 13/06/2025 22:56

You kind of are, yes.