Ex’s unreasonable demands to my house?

Did he do Mother’s Day for you? Guess not so a big fat no again

as to the comment if I had been with a proper women I would be counter arguing if I had been with a proper man who treated his partner with love and care, not abuse

Oh he’s a fucking knobhead isn’t he?! What an actual idiot!! 🤣🤣

Obviously he doesn’t want access for emergency reasons. He wants it so he can maintain a level of control over you and come and go as he pleases. Absolutely not. And if he wants visits in a house, he can save more money so he can afford a spacious house of his own to be in. Absolutely do not let anyone in YOUR home that you do not want there or feel comfortable with.
Just laugh and say, umm no. If he asks again. Bloody ridiculous request on his part, all about keeping the power.

Every time he says “If I’d been with a proper woman” you can answer either

”I know, right? I’m looking for a proper man, myself. Do you know of one? My ex was useless”

Or:

Go find one, then.

That would be a big fat no on everything. Hokey or access to ring, absolutely no need for it

as to friendS and family visiting dc at yours, again a bit fat no they visit at his flat, or his parents place

stand firm

Why on earth does he think that in an emergency he would be the one person you would call on to help. I'll bet that he was controlling when you were together and cannot accept that he cannot control you any more.

Ha! As if. No one has to give anyone unfettered access to their property. Even landlords need to give notice to enter without good reason.
On yer bike, mate. His current circumstances are nothing to do with you. If he wants a house somewhere nice then he needs to work for it like everyone else.

I hope you make your ex wait in the car like he does to you

Nope, tell him it's not happening. You should be the only one with access to your camera. Give a key to your mum or close friend for emergencies. If he doesn't think his flat is suitable for family and friends to visit, then he needs to sort somewhere that doesn't involve you or your home. He's trying to control you even though you've split up and keep an eye on you in case you're bringing people into your home.

Absolutely not. It's definitely not the norm.

He should not have any access to your home.

His relatives visit children on his visitation time in his home.

He's just trying to access and use your house post split. Tell him that's not happening. When your relationship ended, so did his access to your home. I wouldn't let him in the house at all. He can wait in the car or on the stoop for trying to be an asshole. Don't leave your keys out or hidden around outside, this guy sounds weird and I would not trust him to not copy them. Your router pw might be on your kids' electronics. Make sure it's encrypted and secure access to your router.

No way does he need to have door ring bell of your house on his phone and I certainly wouldn’t give him a key. Tell him in an emergency who has a spare key. If you have to wait in car at his, do the same to him.

He is now nothing to do with you.
He has no rights to ask you to do anything.
He has no rights to request any access to your house.
He is bullying you, speak to womens aid.
Stop all contact, go through a contact app. Dont speak to him directly at all.

You need to remind him he doesnt live there anymore. No key and no visits. .

100% NO FECKING WAY

Your house, you get to say who is allowed into it.

Never, ever, give him a key. Check your Ring doorbell and if he ever gets in somehow then call the Police.

He can ask and ask and ask until the cows come home.....but the answer is still no.
If he gets aggressive then go down the legal route.

Say no to absolutely everything. If you say yes to one demand he will think he has the power to do what he wants.

It's your home. He has no rights at all whatsoever.

Heaven NO!
He sounds like a child wanting a toy because “all the other children have one!!!” & that’s rarely true either!!
Please hold your boundaries on this and all the other batshit bonkers demands he will be sending your way. This is definitely a case of your house your rules.
Good luck.

No, that’s really not normal. Even the people I know who have a really good, healthy coparenting relationship with their ex don’t have keys to each other’s homes. It’s just not necessary. He doesn’t need access to your home at all and with his past behaviour I wouldn’t be allowing him to ever come to my home and would be doing handover at a neutral location and not either of your homes.

What the actual heck. Is he delusional?

Gently, if you need to ask if you are being unreasonable then I suspect you need to do some work on yourself and boundaries.

Just no. And never let his mum or sisters have a key either.

It sounds like he’s an ex for a load of very good reasons

Definitely hold your boundaries.

It's usel to mentally separate your relationship with him from his relationship with the children. The latter he has and you'll support it to continue. The former is over. You no longer have a relationship with him so he has NO say on your life or rights to a say in anything that you do or your home.

Do not allow him to have a key to your home, do not allow him or anyone else in your home that you don't want there.
I would also highly recommend having a security camera fitted to the front and rear entrances of your home so you have coverage in case he decides to drop by unexpectedly with any relatives to visit and he tries to bank on you being too polite to turn them away!

No, no, no to all of this.

he is beyond unreasonable. Don’t let him or his family cross your threshold