To think a lot of people regret having kids but are too ashamed to say it?

I have met quite a lot of men and women over the years who say they regret having children.

A lot of my friends say they love their children and grandchildren and, in some cases, great grandchildren but if they could go back in time they would not have any.

May be coincidence but almost all of my friends with children are divorced, some more than once, but all my friends and family who are childfree have only been married the once and for between 25 and 50 years.

I often feel like this, mourning the life i could have had, especially when my kids are being assholes or when i react to them in a way that I don't like. Mostly I miss the freedom, being able to eat something without little grabby hands and whiny voices, and being able to go on holiday to adventurous places any time in the year that isn't school holidays.

I wouldn't call that regret though, feels too strong.🙂

Who is "them" fellow female adult human beings, sorry I don't see it as parents vs non parents, us vs them.
You sound like Andrew Tate.

Some of the comments on this thread about how no parent could ever regret having children are exactly the reason why the people I know who do regret it, don’t mention it to other parents. It doesn’t mean they aren’t good parents to the children already here, or let them know how they feel, but yes, they say that the wish they hadn’t done it.
I find it sad for them that they feel that way amd hope that they eventually do find some joy in their children because why wouldn’t I?

Because you sound just like them

Of course you do! It’s only natural

(And FWIW I adore DD and love having her. She was planned for a very long time and she's the most important thing in my life. There are still times that I miss our lives before, and yearn for a tidy living room and a quiet meal out!)

I agree.

People are always saying, "I've never met anyone who regrets having children!"

No-one is going to admit to it but I think plenty do.

No, I'm not.
Why would you think that? Because I disagree with you?

It's not true. But this:

IMO you guys are protesting too much about happy your lives are child-free and feel a lot of resentment to parents who actually enjoy their lives with their kids in it

is just offensive bullshit. Why do you think any of us would envy you? Seriously?

Let me guess - you are a member of the childfree board?

This is a fantastic response - so true!

Well it’s all true - have you read the similar thread on the people without children board? It is really nasty about parents - and so are a lot of comments on this thread

You've been the loudest on the thread so far, arguing with anyone who feels different to you.
I get you're a perfect parent who has never been bored for a nanosecond while raising your children. Yippee for you.

There is something seriously wrong with your attitude.
Mumsnet has alway had child free people, and shockingly some men too, you're determined to argue with anyone who isn't like you.
Get yourself a coffee.

This is exactly the kind of unpleasant comment people object to.

And?

What I have a problem with is your group of childfree people that post regularly about how parents should feel regret about having children and how awful children are and how your lives are much better than those of parents - not just on your special board but across the whole site! Fair enough you have got your board which is actually pretty vile as I have just hopped across to have a look - why don’t you just stay on there if you don’t like parents talking about their children? Why do you feel the need to be on parenting boards - other than to goad parents about how shit their lives are with children. Why do you guys feel the need to constantly make it a war between parents and non-parents? IMO you guys are protesting too much about happy your lives are child-free and feel a lot of resentment to parents who actually enjoy their lives with their kids in it

Agree with this. Sure, some do but isnt it completely natural to wonder and idealise/fantasise about the path in life that you DIDNT take?

Eg. I am an only child, I used to desperately dream about having a sibling when I was younger because I hated being an only child. Now I am older I see loads of people who dont even talk to their siblings and fight constantly. However, my image I had of my dream sibling in my mind would have been my best friend because noone dreams about an alternative life when its shit do they?

I also know child free couples who say they regret not having children so I think wondering "what if...." is a pretty standard human experience that happens to all of us.

All women are welcome on mumsnet. Hth.

Very mature and reasoned response.

if you have a real problem with non-mums being allowed to post here or having their own board, I suggest you make a case to MNHQ to have us removed.

So

Ahem. Allow me be the first to proclaim BINGO!!!

Because it’s MUMSNET!

Yes I agree it is very low - and certainly not the norm!