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Original poster

Working From Home - backwards step for women?

86 replies

nearlyemptynes · 13/06/2025 09:11

My husband and I both worked from home when Covid hit and continued to do so. I am now in the office once a month but DH has to go in 3 days a week. We both work full time and both have demanding jobs. When he is in the office he gets up around 8 , showers and goes into the office. I am picking up most of the domestic tasks, shopping, cleaning, loading the dishwasher, cooking, running children around etc. It just seems to me that WFH has resulted in me taking on more at home whilst he gets to swan about - that is a simplification but you get what I mean. The more I think about it the more I think it is a backwards step for women and although at times WFH is very convenient it actually means longer hours, I often start work at 6.30am, and more of the domestic tasks expected to fall on women's shoulders. Is this just me or is this the experience of others? I could go into the office more if I wanted to- maybe I should?

OP posts:
redskydelight · 13/06/2025 09:23

Not to mention the expectation* that women can also be responsible for childcare while they WFH, meaning that they do a bad job of both.

*yes, I know it's not a universal expectation, but it seems to be becoming increasingly widespread and no one expected you to both work and look after a child when you had to come to a physical workplace

MellowPinkDeer · 13/06/2025 09:23

I always say to my husband that he has the best stay at home wife with a full time job there is! I do 99% of all house stuff.

wouldn’t swap it for hours a day on a packed train through ( and I do now go to my offices a 1.5h drive away at least once a week)

TiredMame · 13/06/2025 09:22

Its not a poor women issue, its an issue with the split of chores in your house. Why isn’t your dh picking up more?

maddening · 13/06/2025 09:19

I don't pick up more tasks when wfh tbh

U53rn8m3ch8ng3 · 13/06/2025 09:19

But why do you get yo at 6.30. Surely you could get yo just momenta before starting work. Seems like you're choosing to do housework and then complaining about it. I dont do more housework when I'm WFH l...as I'm working.

Fearfulsaints · 13/06/2025 09:19

In my house, my DH having a working from home contract has liberated me more than any thing else since we had chikdren.

He does 50/50 cooking, he hangs washing when he is on conference calls, he is here when the taxi comes home for our son.

It's enabled me to get a job further away on 40% more salary. I'm still part time.

I get your point if it was all women working from home, or men working from home refused to unload the dishwasher on thier break.

Snoopysimaginaryfriend · 13/06/2025 09:18

Why are you getting up at 630am whilst he’s getting up at 8am? Unless you’re going to say he’s not home until 9pm he can get up to do chores.

My DH cannot work from home but my job is more flexible but he’s still capable of emptying a dishwasher before he leaves in the morning.

ColdTofuSandwich · 13/06/2025 09:17

I think WAH benefits women because they do most of the house admin - that is different to saying they SHOULD do the brunt of the work. But if they do, and that’s normal for many households, it means a better work/life balance for me.

Ratisshortforratthew · 13/06/2025 09:17

This is not my experience of WFH, it’s been an absolute boon for me. I work less hours than I would in an office because I can just stop when the work’s done rather than having to hang around til 5pm (I appreciate this isn’t possible for all jobs). I’ve always been a bit of a lazy slob when it comes to household stuff that certainly hasn’t changed. I don’t feel like I “should” do it just because I’m at home.

HatsOffToThePigeons · 13/06/2025 09:14

I find I do less domestically when I WFH because I spend my entire day working and barely get a minute for a cup of tea then I get blind to the housework by the end of the day whereas when I walk back in from the office I "see" everything that needs doing. I don't get how anyone has the opportunity to do all this household stuff if they're actually doing their job in work time? You need to stop just doing it all and leave it until after work and share it with DH in after work time.

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 13/06/2025 09:13

I think it falls to whoever is at home, not my experience that it is the woman choosing to work from home more. If you can go into the office more why don't you? And also you shouldn't be working extra hours, why would you work for free?