Working From Home - backwards step for women?

Just to add how out housework set up
looks wfh. I get up at 6 and leave just before 7 and if there is washing to be done, I chuck a load in. DH gets up at 8 and will hang out/up washing before he starts and if weather is good put in another load (despite just being two people we seem to have enough washing for the street). When both at home we share tasks. I might do the dishwasher he’ll do the bins etc. it’s more just about who has available time to do stuff so we aren’t doing it all at weekends.

I work from home when I want and go in when I want or have to.

I love the flexibility of wfh and don’t mind doing all jobs that need doing. 3 lots of washing done today and hung out. I’ve worked about 2 hrs this morning and will probably do the same this afternoon. No one monitors me and as long as jobs are done and I keep on top of workload it’s all good.

Wow, you've spectacularly missed the point here, haven't you?

I don't work from home but even if I did, it wouldn't be a 'step backwards' for me because I married a fully competent man, who doesn't see housework as my job.

Perhaps you need to go back and read the OP again.

Honestly OP, this sounds like a you problem.

First of all, when you talk about "working longer hours", what do you mean?

Do you mean you're working for longer than your contracted hours at work on the basis that you don't have a commute? If so, cut that shit out immediately. Your employer doesn't pay you for pre work time or after work time when you're commuting, so they're not entitled to your pre work time or after work time when you work from home.

When you get up at 6:30am, what do you do? Are you doing household chores and school drop offs before you start work at 9:00am as if you were in the office? If so, you and your husband need to split the difference. He can get up 45 minutes earlier and you can get up 45 minutes later and he pulls his weight.

Or are you starting work earlier so that you can finish earlier (flexible hours) so you can take care of your kids after school? If so, your whole family is gaining a benefit from you structuring your hours in this way, and your husband needs to be picking up the slack in other ways.

I do usually do more housework on my WFH days, but not that much. Usually it's because I have time to do a load of washing before I start work, take a quick break to hang it up, and then put it away at the end of the day when it's dry. But I'm not taking loads of time out of my working day to do that, and I'm certainly not getting up at the crack of dawn to do it while my husband sleeps on the grounds that I WFH and he doesn't. Why would I?

So you need to work out what the actual issue is and do something about it.

Are you working extra hours for your employer because you WFH? If so, don't. Tell them that your workload is too much for one person and you've been putting in extra hours since COVID but you're heading for burnout.

Are you doing more housework and childcare than your husband because you WFH? If so, don't. It is 50% his responsibility. At most you could be doing housework during the time that he commutes on the grounds that you are both doing something falling into the category of "shit that needs to be done but which you aren't getting paid for". Anything you can't get done during his commuting time needs to be split fairly between you.

I was just referring to my own self there because I don't get a lunch break, so wouldn't be able to complete household chores if I wanted to.

I don't believe that everyone doing household chores in working hours are swanning around so apologies if that's what you thought I was referring to. I know a few people men and women who complete these tasks on their given breaks.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with completing these tasks on a break or lunch break if that is what someone chooses to do and in that instance, I wouldn't class it as swanning about.

I referenced that word as that is what the OP mentioned about working in the office. I work in a hybrid role and I can guarantee that I don't swan about when working in the office.

I WFH 5 days a week, dh out 5 days. We equally share housework.

Some women fall naturally into the “caring” role at home which is fair enough if they choose to do that/enjoy it, but if they don’t they are the only one who can’t say no.

It is not a society or WFH issue, it is individual to each woman/relationship context to set and stick to her own sense of fairness and boundaries and not avoid doing that by making up non existent barriers.

Interesting. I work with more focus at home and feel a bit trapped. I don't do more housework cos I and probably more occupied at work. I took have had very demanding jobs and working from home seems to help with that more. I go into office for a change but I get less done. There are more distractions in office but I kinda like the distractions.

I agree with your opinion on the OP. It was just your “I don’t have time to swan about” I objected to. Most people I know who wfh and do some housework do it during commuting time, or during lunch. We aren’t all swanning about neglecting work because we’re doing the hoovering.

Sorry OP but no you are being ridiculous, if I'm up at 6:30am (which I often am) I'm doing housework so I can relax in the evening, or spending time with my kids, not logging on to work. When I work from home I get 2 hours of my time back from not having to commute, it makes the day so much less stressful and busy and I get a lot more done in general. It sounds like you have a time management problem and you can't blame that on wfh.

I don't have a lunch break and commuting time for me is neither here or there for me, it's literally 5 minutes if I wish to head to the office.

I understand it's not the case for everyone, my partner also WFH and he uses his lunch break for the purpose it is given, to have a break. Sit down, eat his lunch and relax to which I agree.

We share household chores outside of our working pattern. For the OP to state that WFH is taking a step back for women, is wrong in my opinion.

But you are cutting out commuting time, and you can take a lunch break. That’s when I get things done when I’m wfh.

YABU OP, those disadvantages apply to your specific circumstances. You need to tell your dh to pull his weight. Your problem is your man, not your work setup

I'm a single mum and for the 7 years before covid, I was restricted to working within three or four miles of the primary school so I could do drop off and pickup, even with ASC.

I took a new job during Covid, with a full remote contract. Central London company so big pay rise. Massive reduction in stress. Career progression 😎

I'd drop DS at the school bus, log on at 8am, put supper in the slow cooker and a load of washing in the machine at lunchtime, work until 4, then collect ds. Settle him with a snack and his homework and work until 6. Despite working longer hours I had more free time and much less stress.

My employer got 8.5 hours work a day out of me. I caught fewer colds, had more energy. My child was happier.

Now I've changed job again, back to local because my ex-CEO moved into central London and wanted everyone in Blackfriars full time. Thankfully DS is older now and can get himself around. But those 5 years wfh were a godsend.

Dh and I both wfh to different degrees - dh goes in once a month I am in 3 days a week. Dh probably does slightly more as he has to start dinner due to dc clubs and them needing food and timings. Dh and I share the house work and mental load dividing up responsibilities (eg. I manage dd3’s dance clubs and show paperwork etc, dh manages dd2’s cadets paperwork for camps etc). Dh does 99% of clothes washing, I make sure we have food and manage the budget.

You need to reset responsibilities. I can do a food shop online in my lunch break so give dh responsibilities he can do like fill in forms for dc etc.

People disagreeing is not a 'pile on'. What is this demand for echo chambers? Ask AI if you just want positive affirmations.

And yes it is boring and regressive!

@nearlyemptynes You will never get more of a pile on here then when you dare to criticise working from home. How dare you have another opinion about it. You best be quiet because we all love it. 😒

Isn’t it just a coincidence that your job requires you in far less than your DH’s? Or are you saying your DH wouldn’t do it if at home? If so, why wouldn’t he?

For us, the jobs are reversed. I’m in the office 3 days a week and DH almost never has to go in. When I’m in the office I get up and go, he gets up, does the DC breakfast, does the school run (back home by 9), will often do bits during his lunch break (hang some washing out, put washing away, hoover etc).

I've worked from home ever since I left uni back in 2008, and I wouldn't change it for anything.

I don't end up doing more, unless I feel like it, because I've put firm boundaries in, and my partner and I talked about this stuff, divided tasks equally, and that's that. Obviously, sometimes I'll put an extra wash on if I have time, or take the dog for an extra walk if I'm free, but it's not an expectation.

I’m a woman.

It’s not a backwards step for me. In fact it has given me more of my weekend back. I can put on laundry while wfh (and before the “YOu aRE meAnt t0 bEE woRk1nG” banshees start - it takes me 2 mins to put on a load and about 3 to hand things. When in the office I always take breaks too. Need to protect my eyes.)

Similarly at lunch I can hoover, and am home to receive scheduled deliveries leaving my weekends freer. I do hybrid and am equally productive at home as in the office and won’t work for an employer that wants 100% office based personnel again.

Well when I WFH, I am doing just that WFH. I don't have time to swan around, cooking, cleaning and doing laundry!

I think the domestic side falls more to who ever works from home the most. If your partner was full time WFH, would he pick up more of the household tasks?

I work from home and DH works full time out if the house. I do precisely zero more house admin as a result of this, and probably do 30% of overall housework.

I do get to do my housework on lunch break and before and after work (eg getting the washing machine running), and get free weekend days instead of doing it all at the weekend which I used to do when I was full time in the office.

Don’t start making suggestions that ruin WFH for everyone because you can’t sufficiently balance domesticity in your house.

I don’t agree it’s a management issue
Its my company and it’s what works for me,and also the client
If it needs done I don’t have time to wait for the school run to be over

Your husband should get up at 7 and do some jobs. Be a team, no matter what your working patterns are.

All these women who have 'taken a step backwards' and do the majority of domestic tasks as well as working from home.

Are you/were you happy to do the majority of work when you are/were in the office?

Or would you be going straight to your manager and complaining that it's absolutely not down to you to do it all?

What's the difference at home?

Except of course that the person happily sitting by and watching you do it all, claims to love you?