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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this was out of order

27 replies

Notthisagainyouidiot · 12/06/2025 23:59

I started seeing a new man in March. So far everything has been great. Until now.
Last year he was involved with Linda (not real name). It was a friend/fwb type relationship. I don't know her, I've never met her so I can only go on what he says, although some of it is backed up by other people.
I think he would have liked it to be a full on relationship but she didn't. It seems that she would say they were friends, then sleep with him, say it was a mistake and they should just be friends and then sleep with him. Repeat.
Round about Christmas they had a big fallout. No longer friends with or without benefits and she de friended him on FB.
She also has had a big birthday earlier this year which involved going away on several holidays.
Now she's back, no holidays or celebrations left. And she texted him. A general how are you, how's work and I believe you've got a new girlfriend. He did respond to this. Fair enough.
He told me that he'd like to see her and tell her how badly she'd treated him, playing with his feelings and leading him on. I did tell him this was probably pointless. As did his friend who saw them together during their on off relationship.
Yesterday morning I asked him what he was doing on his day off. Going for a walk and coffee with Linda. Apparently she'd 'bumped' into him while he was on his lunch on Tuesday and asked to meet up. He described this to me as 'an opportunity to draw a line under it'.
I wasn't best pleased but decided to wait and see what he said when he came to see me in the evening.
So he told me about it. Mainly chit chat about her holidays, her quizzing him about me and he did talk to her about how she'd treated him. Fine. Until he said I want to stay friends with her and I asked him what that would look like.
Apparently he thinks it would be fine to meet up with her for walks and coffee. Let's just say I disagreed. I am not asking him to fall out with her and never speak again. If we bump into her in the pub be pleasant but that arranged meet ups are out of order. This turned into a row but we made up this morning.
So AIBU to say it's out of order to meet up with a woman you were besotted with and had a sort of relationship that never came to a conclusion.
And they're back being FB friends today.

OP posts:
Enough4me · 13/06/2025 00:06

He would and you know it, she knows it, don't kid yourself it's about coffee.

Ablondiebutagoody · 13/06/2025 00:04

He's a mug. Where's his self respect? She's just playing with him. Nobody needs to keep in touch with a brief fwb who sacked them off.........unless they are hoping for another shot.