What will the judge do?

My exact thoughts. That's usually the reason for a change. A step parent. Pizza and games not so often, in my experience.

OP I hope you are basing your decisions out of whats best for your child genuinely and not on your finances..sounds cruel but it happens a lot with huge detriment to the children

Why aren't you talking to your solicitor about this instead of looking for random people's opinions online?

The simple answer is nobody here can tell you which way the judge will make his/her judgement until it happens. And you should know that already.

and I have no idea why he wants to live with his dad, he’s never said.

you have actually asked him OP?

They will give a lot of weight to an 11 year old’s preference

why is he so keen to live with his father?

does he want to live with you at all? Or 100% dad?

What did court decide? Is your son living full time with his dad as he wishes?

Has he got a step dad he’s not keen on?

Your 11 year old son wants to live full time with his Dad but he's "never said why". You've honestly never questioned his reasoning. As his mother surely you've asked or have some sort of opinion/insight about it. I find that very hard to believe.

Can you agree on 50:50?

If there are no safeguarding concerns then the child’s wishes will carry weight. No one can tell you exactly how much weight they’ll carry, as that depends on a number of factors. All things being equal, it is not in any way out of the realms of possibility that a judge will decide according to the wishes of the child.

In all likelihood he will at least be awarded 50/50. Like other posters I would advise you to accept 50/50 now, rather than take it to court and risk losing more.

It sounds like 50:50 would be a good option, and you should probably agree this with exh, at least for the time being. That also takes the court worry out of things.

You say you want kids to have a main home, but at the moment your dc is saying they want that to be with their dad. That might well happen one day, but I think you would all benefit from trying 50:50 before such a big step.

You say you are the main carer but that’s only the case so long as dc lives with you. You also say you’d rarely see them if it was 50:50 but surely exh has it worse now?

Re what a judge would do - it depends on so many factors that we could never fully advise on online but they would take into account dc views, just not as the sole factor.

If his dad wants 50:50, and you’re hoping the judge will give 50:50, why are you going to court. Why not just agree to 50:50?

Boys often say they would prefer to live with their fathers all the time.

Is there a CAFCASS report ? If there is, it should explore and explain why your son wants to live with his father.

If it’s game time and Pizza then CAFCASS will advise the court this isn’t good reasoning but if he has sensible reasons then they will consider them.

Maybe he feels his father is more interested in and able to facilitate his interests/hobbies etc. Finding out the Why is key here.

Is there a financial or school choice implication connected to this, which is making you dig in your heels? It just doesn't make sense that you are taking such a big risk by turning down (a very reasonable) 50:50 offer and choosing to go to court.

@Imaginedinos an 11 yr old I knew went to school office to change their address school asked why said they were going to love with the other parent. (The other parent had to be called ) they agreed and child went there full time.

Goes to court the year later said child told the judge they were happy were they were and wished no contact whatsoever with the other parent. Judge granted the child’s wish
2nd child(age 10) said they wanted to live with the opposite parent and visit the other parent at weekends. Again the judge gave that child what they wished for too.

It’s not you that matters op it’s the child .

Unless there are safeguarding concerns at play the court won’t order a section 7 report (full assessment). They are more likely to advise you attend child inclusive mediation and work it out yourselves. If you’re not both willing to do that then you will have to set out what you believe is on the children’s best interests and the court will adjudicate. It would help to know more about the reasons for the children wanting this change.

Tbh they will give weight to your sons wishes and want to understand why he feels the way he does. They could easily order your ex partner to have 70% if you are concerned about your son having a main residence so I’d advise you don’t use that as an argument.
what matters here is your son. Why is he so keen to live with his father?

So instead of agreeing 50/50 which sounds perfectly reasonable you're willing to risk your ex getting 100%. Talk to your son and find out what he wants. This isn't about you

i'd strongly recommend not going in with this attitude to the judge.

I should get him because im a mum isnt going to be looked on kindly,

Blimey OP I fear you're making a huge mistake with this.

What's wrong with 50/50? Your child has 2 parents with equal rights to be with their child. You don't get to say No to 50/50 without very good reasons surely?

that's quite an offense stereotype of lone male parents.

So you said no to 50:50 and now he's asking for full custody and you are now saying you will settle for 50:50.

there's a lot here about what you want, and now your son. Having one main home is for YOU, nothim and you may have damaged things long term here.

We got my step daughter 50.50 when she was 6 mainly based on her wishes from only having her officially EOW. Increased to 70.30 when she was 9 and then full time when she was 12.
of course their opinion counts, if it was the over way round and he wanted to be with you full time I’m sure you would think his opinion was important.

the fact you haven’t discussed his feelings and just want them to be ignored and are dragging it through court instead of amicably agreeing on a fair 50.50 isn’t going to work in your favour.

There must be a reason for your dc to want to live with their dad.

You really need to find this out. It could be something like he allowed to play Xbox until 3am at dad's and have pizza every night. Whereas you feed him healthy food and put proper boundaries in.

Talk to your son. Find out what's going on

And put his needs first, not yours, and not his wants, but his needs

Also your reasoning won't stand in court where you say a child should have one main home. Because if (they won't) the judge agreed qith this stance, given the situation your son could live with daddy and visit you for 30% or less.