I think I hate being a Mum :-(

I agree that organised activities are more pressure. It’s all Insta driven. Do they do things like build dens with sheets over chairs etc? Can the 5 year old help prepare food?

I think when you’re working full time, the gear change with time off is more stark. I was a sahm at this stage and had more time to build calm routine. But as a pp says, it goes so quickly even if it doesn’t feel that way now. Just take the pressure off and be with them. Take them out for walks( take simple picnic) , let them run and play. Get some water out if you have a garden / balcony. Last of all, get them bathed and in bed by 7 so you can have adult time.

This is a modern phenomenon though isn't it? People generally didn't 'do" stuff with their kids that so child oriented. The kids " helped" out with adult stuff. Some of my earliest memories are shelling peas, pairing socks and sorting laundry into whites and colours

The park was an occasional thing but once kids got older they took themselves there

Playgroup was the place for kids to play.

You hate the responsibility, demands and lack of freedom, which most if not all of us do! Xxx

You're allowed to hate it. It doesn't make you a bad mother, or mean that you don't love your kids to pieces. Being a mum can be extremely tiring, lonely and boring sometimes and you're never unreasonable for speaking on your lived experience. 🩷

Ah OP. It’s so tough. And 5 and 2!! Those are tough ages. It can be so hard. I absolutely detest this idea that we can’t find parenting hard, it’s such a weight off sometimes to sit with someone and go ‘this is fucking awful sometimes isn’t it??’ So please accept this as a virtual hug.

Sounds like your DH is great, so can you get some solo time? Nip off to the gym, grab a wine with a friend. Never feel guilty about doing that. I come back a better woman!!

I also echo others that it does get easier. Day trips out with a 2 year old my gosh, those are the hard days!! I have 7 year old twins and we find life quite nice now, a far cry from the toddler times haha. Don’t get me wrong they still drive me up the wall at times especially with the sibling fighting and the bloody attitudes but getting us all up and out and doing things is so much easier. They’re in clubs now too that are drop off, I know two of the mums and every Saturday we all go for brunch while they’re at the club. I look forward to it all week!!

Hang in there, OP. Some weeks are just really bloody hard.

Hard relate OP. Same age kids. Both extremely high energy. I enjoy them immensely individually. But together I find it really awful to be honest. They still don’t really play together but somehow manage to bicker none stop. Their wants and needs are very diffident. It feels like someone is always crying or complaining. I feel frazzled and overstimulated by 10am.

Oh and if i tried to bake with them, one hand would spend the whole time catching flying cake mix and the other would be trying to stop the toddler climbing into the oven. I think there is a breed of pre schooler that gets things like crafts and baking and there is also a breed that…well….doesn’t.

I’m at 6 (nearly 7) and 4 (nearly 4 and a half), and it is DEFINITELY easier. They entertain themselves in the mornings now, nobody wears nappies, and from September both of them will be at school. Don’t get me wrong, they are still little and the mess, sibling arguing and chaos does drive me mad at times, but when I compare it to a couple of years ago, things are honestly improving!

Mine are older now. But I found that age hard and honestly boring. It is more enjoyable as they get older as they can do things on their own which allows me some time. I find I enjoy my time with them more.

I assume the pp means do this on the 3 days op isn't working, as that is what the first post was refering to?

It's also possible for 2 adults to sort tea and bath with a bit of outdoor time fitted in, even after work if it is something that does help overall. It's something me and DH regularly do for our 5 year old who is autistic.

If you have kids you need to, you know, do stuff with them. It's tiring but it's part of that life phase.

Tough ages.
It does get easier, and it comes quicker than you think. Breathe and enjoy while they’re sleeping too! xx 😂

I hear you. I come to work for a rest too... I'm a secondary school teacher.

It's a phase of time. It will pass, in the mean time. Maintain standards. Hold the line

I hear you 4&6. On a weekend its hyperactivity and jumping on things whilst making a mess. I get things like the food shop delivered whilst they are in bed and as much as possible housework done on my day off. Then the weekend we try and stay out as much as possible. Such as swimming, bike rides, walks etc. I find if they are worn out a little it's not too over stimulating back in the house. My eldest can now read so I try and in the calmer moments try and direct them to quiet time in their rooms. The eldest will try and read and the youngest will play with his toys. This is only because they are getting old enough to do so absolutely no chance even just six months ago. It does get better slightly the older they get I'm finding.

3 toddlers and a teen and I love it, we do lots of things and currently not working so 7 days a week but I know it's not for everyone. Each has a preferred age they enjoy with there kids

I think it's normal. Kids are very different at different stages and people enjoy the stages varying amounts. Even if you do enjoy it, small children absolutely can be a slog. But they will change! And someday you may well look back and miss something about now. Doesn't mean it's still not reasonable to find it hard!

OP I’ve been a lone parent since DD was 1. I worked full time since she was 4 months old. I totally hear you. The early years are really tough, I was relieved to go back to work every Monday. Things get so much easier and fun as they get older.

If you can afford it, book a Scott Dunn holiday, they have the best kids clubs and Toddler care going. My DD loved it and I got some downtime/respite that was so badly needed for a few years until she was old enough to chill in the shade with me.

Also as they get older Stagecoach on a Saturday and the tennis coaching camps in half terms etc

Solidarity! ❤️

I felt the same when my kids were that age. Now that they're teenagers, I get intensely nostalgic for those days - I really, genuinely miss them! It makes no sense and I have no idea why I feel that way.

Anyway, you're doing a very hard job and you're tired. You need a break. Is there any way to get some down time?

The best way to reset is to give yourself a chance to really miss your kids. That reminds you that you actually love the little monsters.

It's hard. Since you have a supportive partner what you need is an excuse for a quick break everyday. Why not take up running, a perfect excuse to leave them with dad for an hour. And with the couch to 5 k you have to walk most of the time :-) I usually end up walking and taking pics of wild flowers!

Oh OP I really relate as well! Mine are now almost 21 and 17 and I look at photos when they were small and cute and I had my evenings at least with so much nostalgia. In the moment I was frazzled. Severe PND/PTSD after my first and the ONE sympathetic medical professional I saw said "it's perfectly possible to love your baby but hate your life". That has stuck with me for two decades and is so true.

If you can possibly get a 6th former in for cheap help, it could make a world of difference. Carving out any time off work at all for yourself, however rare, also helps. It's great that your dh is helpful. It definitely gets easier - once both were at primary school, that was my golden age. You are by no means alone!!

Have you tried speaking to a GP or anyone about this? I don’t know if there’s a time limit on PND but it sort of sounds a bit like that? It could be worth speaking to a professional to see if they can recommend anything?

In my experience the old saying “the days are long but the years are short” rings really true when it comes to young children. It can feel like such hard going but then you blink and your baby is 18 and heading to university. I know it sounds twee but really do try to look up and enjoy these days. They go so fast. Don’t waste them on wishing to be at work with people who need you far less than your children do.

I completely get it. Some weekends I wish away and feel guilty for that.
Do you get any of your own time? I recently started exercise classes (ones I enjoy oppose to go to because I think I have to lol) and walking. Its had a big impact on that feeling of wishing the weekends away.

But it is about the parents too - you don’t have to spend your days doing activities that make you want to slam your head into a wall just because you have a kid.

Small children are bloody hard work - they’re noisy, needy, intense and require pretty much constant attention or supervision. It’s perfectly okay to find it difficult - I personally couldn’t imagine anything worse 🫣

Ignore the posts about baking, crafts and getting outside - the last thing you want when you’re struggling is to have someone pop up with lots of nice wholesome activities to try - like you’ve not thought of it all already 🤣