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Original poster

To be mad at DH for ‘forgetting’ he ‘borrowed’ our DC’s birthday money

65 replies

SamieK · 12/06/2025 15:12

Our DC turned 2 recently and received money from two relatives - I kept this behind one of the cards on our mantle piece.

When I took the cards down, I noticed the cash looked ‘sparse’ so counted it and it was £40 short of the total which had been gifted.

I asked DH if he’d seen it and he initially said no. After bringing it up again that evening he suddenly remembered he had taken it to spend at the pub (with a mate) and had intended to replenish it but ‘forgot’.

Now my DH never withdraws cash and always uses his card - so I called BS on this but he stands by the story.

Do you think this is plausible or do you understand why I’m sceptical?

OP posts:
LittleBitofBread · 12/06/2025 17:34

Personally I think the initial denial and then the 'sudden remembering' suggests he lied and was hoping to get away with it, as does the fact that he never usually uses cash.
But you know him; what's your gut feeling?

whynotmereally · 12/06/2025 17:29

I’d guess he took it with no thought to paying it back (maybe seeing it as free money) and felt on the spot when u asked so lied.

Nina1013 · 12/06/2025 17:26

sprinklesandshines · 12/06/2025 17:23

Taxi drivers all take card now

Show quote history

They don’t where we live.

Nina1013 · 12/06/2025 17:25

I do this all the time if my daughter gets cash for a birthday or Christmas. We never have cash, and the Chinese only takes cash. I get inappropriately excited about it - because withdrawing cash is a pain so we tend not to bother and only go places that take card.

My daughter has a magic money tree though, so she isn’t bothered either way.

*only slightly kidding….she has a credit card linked to her ApplePay, so she just ‘takes’ the money back by spending it. Plus her usual spending, which is from the magic money tree…

In short, he isn’t necessarily scummy. I do this and I’m not stealing from my child. For every £20 I might get my hands on, she takes it back at a rate of approximately 100000% via my card….She also doesn’t carry cash as she would lose it. So it works all round…!

shortsharp · 12/06/2025 17:25

sprinklesandshines · 12/06/2025 17:23

Taxi drivers all take card now

Show quote history

Ok well he’s clearly a drug addict then.

And they don’t all take card in the town where I live.

sprinklesandshines · 12/06/2025 17:23

shortsharp · 12/06/2025 17:22

easier to pay the taxi driver, didn’t have to find a working cash machine etc. I’ve asked my DH for cash for these reasons before because I’ve not been organised before leaving. there are a million reasons that don’t boil down to being a drug abuser 😅

im starting to realise that I’m not very organised when it comes to cash

Show quote history

Taxi drivers all take card now

shortsharp · 12/06/2025 17:22

sprinklesandshines · 12/06/2025 17:01

I somewhat agree, but presumably he had his own money via his card, which makes it confusing why he’d take the cash. If he was completely skint/had 0 in his bank then fair (well not fair but you know what I mean) but otherwise it doesn’t make sense why he’d take it.

Show quote history

easier to pay the taxi driver, didn’t have to find a working cash machine etc. I’ve asked my DH for cash for these reasons before because I’ve not been organised before leaving. there are a million reasons that don’t boil down to being a drug abuser 😅

im starting to realise that I’m not very organised when it comes to cash

TomatoSandwiches · 12/06/2025 17:07

Well when asked originally he lied, only the second time he admitted it and gave a really poor answer since he apparently uses his card and not cash.

I wouldn't trust him with the babies money again, just open a savings account and give people that information.

Moonnstars · 12/06/2025 17:04

We often keep any cash that the children are given and pay the money into their savings from our account.
There are often things we need cash for that crop up - lottery syndicate at work, money for scout activities, PTA events, barbers prefer cash.

I don't think it's an issue unless you are really worried he never intended to pay it back (as in you caught him out and knew the cash was down £40 rather than him hoping you wouldn't remember the total).

CurlewKate · 12/06/2025 17:04

It all very much depends on the individual concerned whether this is credible or not!

sprinklesandshines · 12/06/2025 17:02

Unless it was for a window cleaner.

sprinklesandshines · 12/06/2025 17:01

shortsharp · 12/06/2025 16:21

Jesus Christ we have this guy as a thief, an alcoholic and a drug abuser and we’re only on page 2.

OP if it makes you feel any better I had money tacked up to our notice board in the kitchen that belonged to the kids and I paid the window cleaner one night with it (my DH knew) and I had to be reminded the next week by my DH to replace it because I’d been busy and had forgotten I’d used it. I replaced it and no harm done.

i cannot believe the drama this is causing.

I somewhat agree, but presumably he had his own money via his card, which makes it confusing why he’d take the cash. If he was completely skint/had 0 in his bank then fair (well not fair but you know what I mean) but otherwise it doesn’t make sense why he’d take it.

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 12/06/2025 17:00

@shortsharp you had to be reminded but you wouldn't have forgotten you'd done it if you were asked, unless he's generally forgetful OP? I think many scenarios are plausible but only OP knows him well enough to know which it's likely to be. If OP can't trust him that's potentially not her fault!

shortsharp · 12/06/2025 16:21

Jesus Christ we have this guy as a thief, an alcoholic and a drug abuser and we’re only on page 2.

OP if it makes you feel any better I had money tacked up to our notice board in the kitchen that belonged to the kids and I paid the window cleaner one night with it (my DH knew) and I had to be reminded the next week by my DH to replace it because I’d been busy and had forgotten I’d used it. I replaced it and no harm done.

i cannot believe the drama this is causing.

Meadowfinch · 12/06/2025 16:15

Has he given it back?

Put the whole amount in a junior isa and do not tell your dh the details.

Maray1967 · 12/06/2025 16:12

Was any of the money from his family? If so, I’d tell them. Especially if it’s from his parents. I’d thank them again for it, but say that in future can they transfer it straight to the child’s bank account because your child’s father has taken it.

Velmy · 12/06/2025 16:11

Butchyrestingface · 12/06/2025 15:24

But if he only ever uses his card, what good would physical cash be to him?

Unless you've managed to check his account and seen that he deposited it into his account? Seems a bit of a faff but you never know.

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The beak man doesn't take card ;)

outerspacepotato · 12/06/2025 16:08

He's a thief who thought you wouldn't notice he stole just some of your kid's birthday money.

I'd put my money on he was buying drugs.

WTF.

Butchyrestingface · 12/06/2025 16:06

NeverDropYourMooncup · 12/06/2025 16:01

Good for weed or a bit of sniff, though.

Show quote history

Well, that was sort of what I wondered if she was suggesting - that he needed physical cash for the types of thing that you usually can't buy with a card.

ThejoyofNC · 12/06/2025 16:04

What a scumbag. Stealing from a child.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 12/06/2025 16:01

Butchyrestingface · 12/06/2025 15:24

But if he only ever uses his card, what good would physical cash be to him?

Unless you've managed to check his account and seen that he deposited it into his account? Seems a bit of a faff but you never know.

Show quote history

Good for weed or a bit of sniff, though.

DryDays · 12/06/2025 15:59

Does he possibly drink more than you know and is struggling to afford it?

MoominMai · 12/06/2025 15:56

Butchyrestingface · 12/06/2025 15:53

Yes, I am aware of what she's suggesting.

OP, only you can decide whether the husband (you think) you know is capable of acts of deliberate theft. From a small child, no less.

Edited
Show quote history

That’s all there is to it! Your Q and emoji suggests you’re unclear.

Butchyrestingface · 12/06/2025 15:53

MoominMai · 12/06/2025 15:53

Stealing it! That’s OPs point, that he doesn’t use cash only his card!

Show quote history

Yes, I am aware of what she's suggesting.

OP, only you can decide whether the husband (you think) you know is capable of acts of deliberate theft. From a small child, no less.

MoominMai · 12/06/2025 15:53

Butchyrestingface · 12/06/2025 15:19

I wouldn't be impressed by his neglecting to replenish the sum he took or initially denying it when questioned. But in terms of this,

Now my DH never withdraws cash and always uses his card - so I called BS on this but he stands by the story.
Do you think this is plausible or do you understand why I’m sceptical?

What is it you suspect him of doing with the money? Confused

Stealing it! That’s OPs point, that he doesn’t use cash only his card!