To be mad at DH for ‘forgetting’ he ‘borrowed’ our DC’s birthday money

Oh yeah, I was assuming a round is just for two people haha, billy no mates here!

I opened a child’s premium bond account for any money my daughter gets. Once it’s in it’s not quick to get it back out, I think 3 or 4 days. So it can’t be lifted on a whim. All the little bits of birthday or Christmas money soon add up. May be a safe place to start putting theirs.

Guess it depends what his mates are drinking. A pint here is about £4-5.

Wine or cocktails yes, pints unlikely.

I’ve done that but given it back. Sometimes it’s better to go to the pub with cash as it’s so easy to overspend with contactless.

Coke is hugely addictive and if he never withdraws or uses cash I’d be reluctant to think that’s what it was for.

As a father I have to say "your being unreasonable" but only because I cannot fathom taking money from my child, over the years to pay my mortgage off early (now done) I have literally lived off noodles for years to pay the mortgage off early (I mean drastic measures) but if the children ever asked for money I'd honestly not eat any tea for the last week of the month just so I could give them money so for a father to take off his own child to me that's to much.

The initial denial coupled with the illogical reason for taking it (going somewhere he can use his card) suggests that he just pocketed it and didnt intend to put it back.

In all honesty...and not to sound like a mumsnet trope but...

Could it have been for coke?

We never have cash and when we need it unexpectedly we raid ds moneybox. It gets transfered to his account though.

DH was going somewhere he could use his card, why would he also need cash? What a bastard!

I’d have no problem with him borrowing the money- I’ve done that before (usually snack money for school or the school fair and paid it back). What I’d be sceptical about is him “forgetting” he’d borrowed it.

£40 doesn’t go far where I’m from! That would only buy 2 rounds of drinks and the taxi back home. And I’m not in a capital city.

Are you always so suspicious of anonymous posts?

Just because he's the husband and not the wife doesn't mean there's nefarious intent.

If OP thinks her husband stole it, then fine. Clearly he's a shit husband and shit father. From what she's posted, I don't think there is any reason why he wouldn't have replaced it, unless she also thinks he thinks she's an idiot who wouldn't have noticed the cash was missing.

And £40 for a night out is fine.

I really have outgrown this site I think.

It’s £40 and he wouldn’t have replaced it because the first time he was asked he denied taking it.

Why would he do this OP? £40 sounds a lot to spend in the pub with a mate, that’s 6 pints. Is that normal?

Are you in a tight budget and with a joint account and he didn’t want you to see pub expenditure?

Or was it end of the month and his bank account was empty?

Did he want cash for weed?

Jesus. The money was in a card, and it's for a two year old. Does it really matter? He would have replenished it, and the two year old isn't going to give a shit.

So has the money been replaced??
I'm forever borrowing cash from the dc. It's almost always replaced in their revolut accounts though. We all borrow small amounts of money from each other at times. Unless it's between the dc it's not a big deal if a repayment is forgotten about. Genuine errors

So you don't repay your child when your husband pockets birthday or Christmas money?
What would you say if the giver asked what you bought with it or said to put half in savings but you didn't?

You probably feel a bit bad because you know that's not your money it was gifted to your child, it's separate from whatever you have put aside for them imo.

So this man steals from his child?

Nice.....

The thing is though, he didn’t ask. That’s the main point here. It should’ve been discussed what they wanted to do with the money.

So that his night out cost him nothing.

This makes me feel a bit bad - are people really that precious about ‘kids’ money when they’re tiny? If my dad gave me £50 for my kid it would go straight into my husbands wallet. I don’t think we steal from them! Our kids will have plenty of savings (we currently have 1 isa in my name that earmarked for them. My husband invests it, so there’s probably about £30k ish but at some point will get them small JISAs and keep the majority in our names).

When they are old enough to understand they have been given money we will of course take them to spend it/ help them understand it is there ready for something special. But when they’re tiny… I don’t see the big deal.

It is however a big deal that you feel your husband was stealing … not cool at all.

I would probably borrow the money myself if I needed cash,but it would be put back. I definitely wouldn't forget about it, especially if I was asked 😂 he was just trying to get away with it, for whatever reason

This.

Clearly hoped to get away with it, and that you wouldn’t realise he’d taken the money if he just took part of it.

So clearly didn’t intend to pay it back.

He needs to be paying this back pronto, and all future gifts of money out straight into a savings account for DS.

I once opened my young dc money box and found 4 iou notes in there! I had to do that as I was always forgetting to replace it. I used it because I never have cash and was always caught out by window cleaner or something.

He probably lied because he knew what your reaction would be.