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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is our town a shithole..

860 replies

FroggletTowers · 12/06/2025 13:53

Or is this happening anywhere else?

I have been discussing this with friends, family and colleagues recently so won't name our town for privacy reasons, but it is a regular, large town in England, UK.
Nothing particularly special or awful about it, previously.

Since the pandemic, the entire vibe has changed. Almost unrecognisable.
Yes, we have some heavy shop closures like many towns, but the council kept it looking decent as much as it could. Some nice buildings and nature areas, etc.

What stands out most, apart from the general vandalism and dog shit is the weird accumulation of male groups hanging around boozing in public.

So far they have taken over the local park, river walks and nature reserves. They often cluster beneath bridges or across paths where people like to run, cycle walk dogs or take children, making it less safe and filling these areas with waste. Off road bikes have ruined the nature reserves, so less people visit Sad

Sadly the authorities don't seem to be doing much about it, it is as if these people don't have to abide by laws that the rest of us have to. Some buildings adjacent to these areas have windows put through on a regular basis, even in what you'd call 'nice' areas.
Many of them cluster at river bridges and block the path for others, most are very drunk or out of generally.
It isn't unusual to see a large man passed out across the pathway, blocking anyone getting past. If you had a pram or bike it would be really uncomfortable to have to rouse a large drunk at 2pm in the afternoon. Most are local men, with a growing amount of middle eastern men. The vast majority of them are unstable.

We see less women out cycling, walking or exercising now, and this encompasses both MC and WC areas. These people seem to have just multiplied and spread across the entire borough and have taken over all public space.
We live in a decent area that is now seeming to go downhill.
It isn't unusual to see day drinkers sat alone, surrounded by cans on a quiet residential street. And they won't move to let you past.

It's really depressing.

OP posts:
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6
NeedthatFridayfeeling · 12/06/2025 18:43

@Tabitha005Yep we certainly get a lot of that, i don’t take my 8yr old to town now on a Saturday evening

alsohappenedoverhere · 12/06/2025 18:42

Hopefully the fact it is moving to middle class areas means something will be done about it.

Theunamedcat · 12/06/2025 18:39

My town is a shit hole too the last two times I took my son in with me we had a (most likely) dead homeless person and the other time there was a drunk man who pissed himself we had to step around the stream the paramedics are always in for this reason I took my daughter (adult daughter) in with me Monday we were yelled at in a different languages spat towards and had people asking us for money getting pissy when we said no

The town planners put a children's play park in town with no fence around right next to a main road the druggies use it

They have knocked down buildings to put in green space we know tents will be put on it for the alleged homeless (some have flats some do not) someone has built a bed in the underpass it's set up like a flat and people have started to avoid it because it's like walking through someone's house we have plenty of services for homeless here they are refusing help

It fucking stinks

Quirkswork · 12/06/2025 18:38

WestwardHo1 · 12/06/2025 18:14

It sounds lovely, but the kind of town/area which has money. Nothing will entice some of the chains you mention to our town, because it's seen as a poor relation to some of the posher Cornwall and Devon towns. Therefore we need to rely on ourselves. The low end chains we had all closed down - Peacocks is pretty much the only on remaining.

It's actually in an area which is historically very poor in the North East, ironically. It's a catch 22 situation..a nice place to live will attract wealth which is what you need to make a nice place to live.

Slatterndisgrace · 12/06/2025 18:38

Catwhispereroo · 12/06/2025 18:37

OP, you might as well say where you are. It's hardly 'outing' to say you live in Lincoln or Sheffield or wherever.

I realise I'm very fortunate to be in Chelsea which is fantastic, buzzing and absolutely none of what you describe. Many areas of London are the same, but even if you live in a not great part of London, you're never far from somewhere that is. When I read about towns outside of London on here, it's like a tale of two nations.

I think there’s always money pumped into London due to the need for tourism and obviously tourism helps with that bill.

Catwhispereroo · 12/06/2025 18:37

OP, you might as well say where you are. It's hardly 'outing' to say you live in Lincoln or Sheffield or wherever.

I realise I'm very fortunate to be in Chelsea which is fantastic, buzzing and absolutely none of what you describe. Many areas of London are the same, but even if you live in a not great part of London, you're never far from somewhere that is. When I read about towns outside of London on here, it's like a tale of two nations.

Midnightlove · 12/06/2025 18:35

soupyspoon · 12/06/2025 18:26

Loads of seaside towns have rivers, I didnt get that post

The river literally leads to the sea lol, what a random post

Lilactimes · 12/06/2025 18:35

RedhairDL · 12/06/2025 18:07

It doesn’t. It has a label saying it’s going to be the biggest and the bestest light ever, and you won’t have to worry about light again, plus, it’s going to be cheap light.

It may or may not be useless in the end, who knows? But it can’t be any worse than the light in the fitting that doesn’t turn on and is still costing you a fortune.

The problem is that you don’t like the manufacturer because they wanted to leave the EU.

Edited

The biggest and best light that has no idea how it’s going to stay bright and fund all the lovely bright sparkle it wants to emit.

and has a pretty shoddy set of values it wants to shine its light on

Tabitha005 · 12/06/2025 18:34

@NeedthatFridayfeeling I think it might have something to do with all the hen and stag parties we saw roaming around blind drunk and yelling their heads off! 😂

PandoraSocks · 12/06/2025 18:32

ERthree · 12/06/2025 18:21

No but i can see NI from my window.

So why would your town end up like Ballymena? The violence there is caused by thugs who always find an excuse to riot this time of year. The horrible alleged sexual assault case is just a vehicle for them.

OldMcDonaldHadABigMac · 12/06/2025 18:31

I'm in a large town in Scotland. Shithole here too. Half the vacant shops on the high street are boarded up and covered in graffiti. So many vape shops, vietnamese nail salons and Turkish barbers. Drug addicts screaming and shouting. It's awful.

AngelinaFibres · 12/06/2025 18:31

FroggletTowers · 12/06/2025 14:01

There must be so many people up and down the country having such discussions!

Would love to hear more if it's that common.

Is it Gloucester because that's always been a hell hole ?

Theunamedcat · 12/06/2025 18:29

Jibberjabba · 12/06/2025 18:14

Of which the vast majority of those countries main religion is Muslim

Ok?

Normansglasseye · 12/06/2025 18:29

I live in east Anglia, most of the seaside towns in Essex, Suffolk and Norfolk (excusing the more affluent towns such as Southwold and Aldeburgh) are now like this.

So sad as they were all part of my childhood and hold such great memories but now dumping grounds for those with social issues.

I feel for elderly and disabled people stuck in these hell-holes with no means of escaping.

Ireallywantadoughnut36 · 12/06/2025 18:28

We live in quite a wealthy town, cotswolds area and definitely doesn't have a vibe like this at all. Mainly still families or couples put and about, occasionally the odd drunk of an evening walking home from one of the pubs but otherwise no real day drunks, definitely nobody passed out. I walk the dog and see lots of women alone doing this too, or jogging, we all feel quite safe I think. We are a bit touristy so does make me think it's likely we get more money and attention than an average town though

Tabitha005 · 12/06/2025 18:28

My nearest large town is abysmal - dog shit, drunks, litter, increasing amounts of shitty houses being built, empty shops, gangs of gobby, violent kids everywhere who think they’re gangsters, dirty street furniture, broken-down and decaying landscaping, homeless people, chavs a-plenty in their nightwear nicking from Asda, crap town centre full of vape shops, nail bars, barbers and not much else. Ashford in Kent if anyone’s interested. Absolutely dire.

Eurostar pulling services from the ‘international’ station probably hasn’t helped Ashford’s chances of upping its status.

I’m glad I don’t actually live anywhere near Ashford but I’m currently having to work out of an office there. It’s fucking hideous.

NeedthatFridayfeeling · 12/06/2025 18:27

@Tabitha005 yeah that is really unpleasant and embarrassing for the city

soupyspoon · 12/06/2025 18:26

Isittimeformynapyet · 12/06/2025 14:14

I live in a seaside town with a river.

Loads of seaside towns have rivers, I didnt get that post

RedhairDL · 12/06/2025 18:25

JustSawJohnny · 12/06/2025 16:54

The third one is riddled with fascists and is not for working people. Reform look good on paper to a 'certain demographic' purely due to their harsh immigration stance, but they are a party for the wealthy in terms of their policies and voting records. They are all for decimating workers rights and lowering taxes for the rich. If you take a look at the mess they are making in the councils they are now running, you wouldn't want them in charge of the Nation. Piss up & brewery, basically.

I tried so hard not to use the word cunts in that sentence. It was so hard. I might reward myself with a biscuit 😂

I can’t tell if you’re going to vote for them or not?

Either way, I will, next year in Wales.
Lord knows Labour have had enough time to prove themselves here and they are absolutely useless.

I think we’ve got worse problems than the op described in England - but at least you guys can see where you’re heading.

Fuzzypinetree · 12/06/2025 18:25

deadpantrashcan · 12/06/2025 16:43

Sounds absolutely wonderful 🥰 where is this utopia?

We live in Germany...
There's stuff to complain about here, too, but where we are seems like quite a nice place.

Tabitha005 · 12/06/2025 18:23

NeedthatFridayfeeling · 12/06/2025 14:08

I work in York and haven't noticed much change other than if anything it gets busier, there are a handful of homeless people, there always has been, they generally keep in their group and don't bother passers by etc (could be different at night, i don't know, though i didn't see them Saturday night when i was out)
Where i grew on the other hand isn't great.

I really enjoyed York when I visited for the first time earlier this year. But, my god, the amount of vomit splattered on the pavements after Friday and Saturday nights really was something I hadn’t expected!

Slatterndisgrace · 12/06/2025 18:22

Jibberjabba · 12/06/2025 18:14

Of which the vast majority of those countries main religion is Muslim

In Eastern Europe?

ERthree · 12/06/2025 18:21

PandoraSocks · 12/06/2025 17:58

I am surprised we are not in the same position as Ballymena

Are you in Northern Ireland?

No but i can see NI from my window.

Midnightlove · 12/06/2025 18:19

Jibberjabba · 12/06/2025 18:01

How do you know the men are Middle Eastern? Majority of the Middle East are Muslim, so not sure they would be getting half cut

Ah that's called being Muslim when it suits them 😂

Bickybics · 12/06/2025 18:18

One of the issues in the towns near me is a lot of the shops/buildings are owned by companies in London who hate little interest in renting them out. I assume they are just held as assets.
2 localcouncils have refurbished small streets for independent shops - they are doing well. People do want to go shopping. My local out of town shopping place is actually insane with queues of cars trying to get in. It’s the main place between 2 towns for shopping now and cannot cope.