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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is our town a shithole..

860 replies

FroggletTowers · 12/06/2025 13:53

Or is this happening anywhere else?

I have been discussing this with friends, family and colleagues recently so won't name our town for privacy reasons, but it is a regular, large town in England, UK.
Nothing particularly special or awful about it, previously.

Since the pandemic, the entire vibe has changed. Almost unrecognisable.
Yes, we have some heavy shop closures like many towns, but the council kept it looking decent as much as it could. Some nice buildings and nature areas, etc.

What stands out most, apart from the general vandalism and dog shit is the weird accumulation of male groups hanging around boozing in public.

So far they have taken over the local park, river walks and nature reserves. They often cluster beneath bridges or across paths where people like to run, cycle walk dogs or take children, making it less safe and filling these areas with waste. Off road bikes have ruined the nature reserves, so less people visit Sad

Sadly the authorities don't seem to be doing much about it, it is as if these people don't have to abide by laws that the rest of us have to. Some buildings adjacent to these areas have windows put through on a regular basis, even in what you'd call 'nice' areas.
Many of them cluster at river bridges and block the path for others, most are very drunk or out of generally.
It isn't unusual to see a large man passed out across the pathway, blocking anyone getting past. If you had a pram or bike it would be really uncomfortable to have to rouse a large drunk at 2pm in the afternoon. Most are local men, with a growing amount of middle eastern men. The vast majority of them are unstable.

We see less women out cycling, walking or exercising now, and this encompasses both MC and WC areas. These people seem to have just multiplied and spread across the entire borough and have taken over all public space.
We live in a decent area that is now seeming to go downhill.
It isn't unusual to see day drinkers sat alone, surrounded by cans on a quiet residential street. And they won't move to let you past.

It's really depressing.

OP posts:
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FroggletTowers · 12/06/2025 21:21

Sabire9 · 12/06/2025 21:15

The reason you're seeing more marginalised people on the streets - and that's what you're seeing - is the accumulated effect of years and years of cuts to addiction services and the near collapse of community mental health services.

I live in a very poor area. The council places many of its most vulnerable residents in HMO's near me - there are two HMO's in my road, and a number of hostels nearby. Many of the people you see on the streets are estranged from family members, because of mental illness and substance abuse. They're often destitute, spending all their benefits money on alcohol and weed to get them through the day.

The reason why people gather in groups is because they're human, and one of the few things that gives comfort and pleasure to these folks living on the margins, is human contact with other people.

I'm sorry you're offended by the sight of them. Just try to remember, these are someone's brother, son, nephew. Imagine someone you love leading that sort of life.

Thanks for sharing this perspective.
Only please also understand that if a group of drunken men are blocking the passage under a bridge, a small woman with or without children might feel uncomfortable or afraid, especially if they are aggressive towards each other.

it is an unfortunate situation, whatever the cause.

I am not offended by people who are troubled, I just wish our public areas felt safe. I wish that I could fix things for all of us, but I can't.

OP posts:
Daffodilsarefading · 12/06/2025 21:20

This has nothing to do with poverty. I call people like this scrubbers. It’s a choice. You choose to throw your rubbish on the floor. You choose to shout and swear in public. You choose to dress like a tramp- yes it is cheaper to buy smart looking clothes than branded trainers and branded sportswear.
It is awful to see this behaviour. Close to where I live they are demolishing several flats. It’s already made the area better. No idea where the residents have gone but the number of men roaming around town drinking, shoplifting and generally not adding any positivity to the place has decreased.

lifeonmars100 · 12/06/2025 21:20

couchparsnip · 12/06/2025 17:56

I am literally writing a dissertation about this as we speak.
(Well I should be doing that anyway and not being on Mumsnet)
I could go on for ages about this. There are so many towns like this now. Low footfall, low value shops, vacancies. I just looked at a few.

I am finding the causes of decline to be varied, a lack of resilience and not adapting to change is the the main thing. Obviously COVID, online shopping, out of town shopping centres and a lack of investment have an effect, but in some places there is 'negative branding'. People just love to hate their town. That's a big factor.

We have to accept now that town centres will have to change to survive, retail can't be the big draw any more. The towns that do well are the ones with a unique selling point, where those in charge care about the look and feel of a place ....

I've not read the comments before mine. Sorry if I have repeated things. I got excited you were talking about my topic!

Sounds interesting and timely. It is something I often ponder on as what I see in my city is replicated to a greater and lesser extent throughout the country. Of course there are many reasons and I think that Covid accelerated the changes brough about by online shopping, people going into town less, city centres needing to reasses what their purpose is now that in-person shopping is not the thing is used to be or will ever be againl Good luck and now get back to work! 😅

PiggyPigalle · 12/06/2025 21:20

Fentyfairy · 12/06/2025 20:55

PP nailed it partly, there's no collective shame, I live on the edge of a town surrounded by fields, walking my dog today and various contractors parked down a small lane doing some work, all of whom had thrown their filthy fucking mcdonalds out the window so litter strewn everywhere, scum. They obviously have no shame though, and have been brought up like this, god knows what their delightful children will behave like, maybe just eat from the floor do away with any utensils etc.? Won't have to worry about what to do with litter then. And no before anyone says anything I didn't challenge them, I can pretty much guarantee what the response would have been to a lone older woman, and I doubt very much they would have picked up the litter so no point.

I lived in a hamlet where that happened. Park up in field gateway, admiring the bright yellow Rape field. Chuck the MacDonald detritus and leave.
The logic of it puzzled me. Then I realised it was a finger up to those who were able to live there.

FroggletTowers · 12/06/2025 21:17

Goodness me, popped out for dinner and came back to more pages than I can find the energy to catch up on this eve.

We have had a good chat with regards to moving, or at least bringing the date closer, tonight.

I will try to catch up tomorrow, as need to do a few things before bed. Thanks for sharing your personal stories and thoughts on the matter.

OP posts:
Sabire9 · 12/06/2025 21:15

The reason you're seeing more marginalised people on the streets - and that's what you're seeing - is the accumulated effect of years and years of cuts to addiction services and the near collapse of community mental health services.

I live in a very poor area. The council places many of its most vulnerable residents in HMO's near me - there are two HMO's in my road, and a number of hostels nearby. Many of the people you see on the streets are estranged from family members, because of mental illness and substance abuse. They're often destitute, spending all their benefits money on alcohol and weed to get them through the day.

The reason why people gather in groups is because they're human, and one of the few things that gives comfort and pleasure to these folks living on the margins, is human contact with other people.

I'm sorry you're offended by the sight of them. Just try to remember, these are someone's brother, son, nephew. Imagine someone you love leading that sort of life.

ERthree · 12/06/2025 21:12

PandoraSocks · 12/06/2025 18:32

So why would your town end up like Ballymena? The violence there is caused by thugs who always find an excuse to riot this time of year. The horrible alleged sexual assault case is just a vehicle for them.

Edited

Well aware of why there is always an excuse especially at this time of the year to riot. Our town is full of tension right now, and it won't take much to ignite.

lifeonmars100 · 12/06/2025 21:09

fatphalange · 12/06/2025 19:07

In my area which has the same social issues, there are far, far too many HMOs. Most of these HMOs are designated for males who are out of prison, addicts or otherwise deprived. Some HMOs are not but are more likely to house single men (or men whose on/off partners live with children in houses or flats).
This partly explains why a significant number of mostly men congregate out of doors. The rooms they ‘live’ in are like boxes with a shower in the corner. And to add another layer of depression, it costs almost the same amount to live in one of these shoe boxes sharing a kitchen and garden with dysfunctional people, as it costed to rent an entire house on the same street only a few years ago. Everyone is priced out of decent living conditions, even working families. Life is dreary and hopeless for so many now and if my circumstances were like that, I’d probably turn to drink and drugs and take to hanging round the city centre!

The agency here that works with and houses homeless people many of whom have multiple complex needs had around 44% of its projects, hostels and supported accomodation in my area, It is a poor and deprived area and it makes it worse to have so many people with high levels of need in such a small area. Drug dealers work like any business, they go to where the custom is so we have open drug dealing out on the streets, men who are pissed up outside the many off licenses and beggars by the cash point, I really believe in helping homeless people but I think that all areas should take a share but of course a "better" area ofen organises opposition to a hostel being built. There is a supported house on my street and the dealing there used to be wild, people coming and going at all hours, fighting in the street, threats to kill, you get the picture! All of us who live close by had to keep a diary of the many events and the tenants did get kicked out in the end but I think many MNs would have had an attack of the vapours coping with such events

Crikeyalmighty · 12/06/2025 21:07

@lifeonmars100 clearly Nottingham - so sad -

BunnyLake · 12/06/2025 21:05

My town has actually got better over the years, some really quite nice improvements.

twilightermummy · 12/06/2025 21:04

@Mimilamore
Oh yeah there are a lot of kids on bikes here too. They often wear balaclavas.
Same issue with fly tipping - the alleys are disgusting.

Lioncub2020 · 12/06/2025 21:04

I think we can conclude you live in a shithole.

twilightermummy · 12/06/2025 21:02

I'm in a Northern city and there's a massive drugs problem. I've had to call the police to move users on from near where we live. I've picked up needles outside of our doorway before as I didn't want the children stepping on them. It's depressing that my kids even recognise the people as addicts. They also recognise the stench of cannabis too. I do have a lot of sympathy for some of these people though, life has probably treated them really hard. It just makes it miserable to witness. They regularly fight, throw up, urinate everywhere etc.

These are almost always local, working class men. We do have a lot of Eastern Europeans here and people of Asian descent but it's not them (however much Reform like to push that's the problem).

I also agree with another poster that a lot of mums seem quite rough at the moment. At the school gates there are men with huge dogs. I've moved a few times along the coast and it's been the same everywhere.

Despite all of this, the city still has humour and a warmth. I'm happy here!

Mimilamore · 12/06/2025 21:01

The town I live in is a sadder sight since the pandemic IMO. There are more feral kids on bikes being intimidating and using catapults to shoot at animals. However the streets are more or less deserted in the evenings and pubs restaurants empty in the week, leading to many only opening Thursday to Sunday…
The whole place has been neglected and is very run down although levelling up money is being used to try and improve things. There is are a lot of people litter picking in lots of areas, sadly there are lots of people throwing rubbish and fly tipping alleys…. so yes I think things have changed for the worse… less dog poo on streets though as I think more people are aware of how disgusting it is…

EthicsOnThePrecipice · 12/06/2025 21:00

lifeonmars100 · 12/06/2025 20:51

my city in the k Midlands is in a real state and it is so sad to see. It is not especially wealthy but has always been lively, with a lot of positve things happening and it has two universities. I am in a rough area, it used to be rough and ready but full of life and it was always clean. The council is broke and struggling to provide essential services. Community centres and libraries are being shut or only opening for very restricted hours, the streets are filthy and even the pest/rat catchng service has been axed to cut costs! Where I live is just vile now, used to be a bit scruffy but it looks almost Dickensain now, the only shops that are ooen are takeaways and off licences, there is a big supermarket but it is a gathering place for drinkers, drug users and beggars, I have walked past people smoking crack in the afternoon in full view of kids coming out of school. One of my friends lives in one of the "better" areas and I have noticed that this is on the slide now, i have seen drunks on the streets there in the middle of the day, they have people rough sleeping in the door ways of the boarded up Wilko and fly tipping is creeping in. City centre is just like so many others, nail bars, vape shops, chicken shops, burger places, discount stores and would be hard pressed to count all the coffee shops. We have a big M and S and a big John Lewis , a large Next, a Primark and that is about it. Loads of beggars and rough sleepers in the city centre and there is an air of tension at times. We have had quite a few stabbings too, most recent one was in the middle of the day in the middle of the city centre. Grim times

Hello fellow Nottinghamian! Hyson Green I presume?

idonethisthing · 12/06/2025 20:59

So what do you all propose is the actual solution for this? I feel the same by the way….but rather than just sharing anecdotes, experience and complaining….WHAT needs to happen?

PiggyPigalle · 12/06/2025 20:58

I live in a nice crime free village. If I leave any power tools in the garden, they'll still be there in the morning.
Young people here are lovely. Always say hello, no graffiti etc.

Local Coop was refurbished. Only one proper checkout, the other tills are on the cigarette counter. Before refurbishment, they were open, now there's high perspex protecting it all.
That's not to protect anyone and anything now, that's future planning. Even if the locals stay law abiding, there's always outsiders who go where there are easy pickings.
I'll go in there of a late evening, no customers, just a couple of staff stocking shelves. They are so vulnerable. The nearest police are stationed seven miles away.

Fentyfairy · 12/06/2025 20:55

PP nailed it partly, there's no collective shame, I live on the edge of a town surrounded by fields, walking my dog today and various contractors parked down a small lane doing some work, all of whom had thrown their filthy fucking mcdonalds out the window so litter strewn everywhere, scum. They obviously have no shame though, and have been brought up like this, god knows what their delightful children will behave like, maybe just eat from the floor do away with any utensils etc.? Won't have to worry about what to do with litter then. And no before anyone says anything I didn't challenge them, I can pretty much guarantee what the response would have been to a lone older woman, and I doubt very much they would have picked up the litter so no point.

lifeonmars100 · 12/06/2025 20:54

idonethisthing · 12/06/2025 20:45

I live 15 miles down the road and have vowed never to visit this shithole again. It’s a shame as I always loved Peterborough as a teen. John Lewis rightly shipped out and it’s getting worse there. It’s literally the boil on the arsehole of humanity.

I was born and broought up in Peterborough, it was dull but spotless and reasonably prosperous. Last time I went there it was unrecognisable, it is a wreck of its former self

lifeonmars100 · 12/06/2025 20:51

my city in the k Midlands is in a real state and it is so sad to see. It is not especially wealthy but has always been lively, with a lot of positve things happening and it has two universities. I am in a rough area, it used to be rough and ready but full of life and it was always clean. The council is broke and struggling to provide essential services. Community centres and libraries are being shut or only opening for very restricted hours, the streets are filthy and even the pest/rat catchng service has been axed to cut costs! Where I live is just vile now, used to be a bit scruffy but it looks almost Dickensain now, the only shops that are ooen are takeaways and off licences, there is a big supermarket but it is a gathering place for drinkers, drug users and beggars, I have walked past people smoking crack in the afternoon in full view of kids coming out of school. One of my friends lives in one of the "better" areas and I have noticed that this is on the slide now, i have seen drunks on the streets there in the middle of the day, they have people rough sleeping in the door ways of the boarded up Wilko and fly tipping is creeping in. City centre is just like so many others, nail bars, vape shops, chicken shops, burger places, discount stores and would be hard pressed to count all the coffee shops. We have a big M and S and a big John Lewis , a large Next, a Primark and that is about it. Loads of beggars and rough sleepers in the city centre and there is an air of tension at times. We have had quite a few stabbings too, most recent one was in the middle of the day in the middle of the city centre. Grim times

idonethisthing · 12/06/2025 20:51

OhPatti · 12/06/2025 14:04

Well, OP mentions river walks so this isn’t a seaside town she’s talking about…

Bahahaha. What????

idonethisthing · 12/06/2025 20:45

ballroompink · 12/06/2025 20:43

Interesting to see several mentions of Peterborough here - agree it is absolutely dire. It has always had its problems but the city centre isn't worth going to any more - so many shops have left. Yes there are plenty of restaurants but the atmosphere is awful. Men hanging around, groups of addicts behaving erratically, just a general very depressed air, rubbish everywhere, vape shops and empty premises. Teenagers fighting in the shopping centre. Drug use along the riverside walks. It's a shame as there are some nice areas of the city but everyone I know agrees there is no reason to actually go into the centre any more.

I live 15 miles down the road and have vowed never to visit this shithole again. It’s a shame as I always loved Peterborough as a teen. John Lewis rightly shipped out and it’s getting worse there. It’s literally the boil on the arsehole of humanity.

idonethisthing · 12/06/2025 20:43

I live in a midland town and we have our fair share of immigration. Most of the Eastern European’s here do bring plenty to the table, but some of the men do loiter in the back of supermarkets etc, drinking openly. I also happen to live along a river bank but have seen anything like this there. The drinking behaviour seems to happen around the shops and off licences that sell the booze. These places also stink of piss.

ballroompink · 12/06/2025 20:43

Interesting to see several mentions of Peterborough here - agree it is absolutely dire. It has always had its problems but the city centre isn't worth going to any more - so many shops have left. Yes there are plenty of restaurants but the atmosphere is awful. Men hanging around, groups of addicts behaving erratically, just a general very depressed air, rubbish everywhere, vape shops and empty premises. Teenagers fighting in the shopping centre. Drug use along the riverside walks. It's a shame as there are some nice areas of the city but everyone I know agrees there is no reason to actually go into the centre any more.

Icebreakhell · 12/06/2025 20:37

I work in central London and next to my office is a tent city. Row upon row of tents and rubbish. People passed out on the street or begging or fighting. It stinks to high heaven and is intimidating.